Through A Looking Glass
by Aisaki Sumi
Summary: COMPLETED! In 12th century Japan, she was a woman fighting for recognition in a world dominated by men. Despite her inner defiance, she got married at the request of her father, but to an aristocratic man who was in love with another. SxS
1. Rebirth, arisen from the ashes

**Through A Looking Glass  
平安京の桜の物語（へいあんきょうのさくらのものがたり）  
**By: Aisaki Sumi

_Into the darkness we will fall  
__The rushing wind and the whispers of dreams  
__Our eternal companions  
__And through a looking glass we see  
__A distorted image of Life  
__Fabricated with lies  
__But I will penetrate through the layers  
__And find the truth hidden beneath  
_

(Opening poem in Heike no Monogatari)

祇園精舎の鐘の声  
諸行無常の響きあり  
娑羅双樹の花の色  
盛者必衰の理をあらわす

おごれる人も久しからず  
唯春の夜の夢のごとし  
たけき者も遂にはほろびぬ  
偏に風の前の塵に同じ

The sound of the Gion Shoja bells  
Echoes in harmony with the ephemeral things in life  
The color of the sara blossoms  
Reveals the unwritten rules that when the highest peak of prosperous is reached, declination must follow.  
The conceived ones will not last long,  
like a midnight spring dream  
The stronger ones must fall (in this cyclic life)  
as if they were feather-light dusts.

-- Translated by Aisaki Sumi

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**Chapter One  
****Rebirth, arisen from the ashes **

_The awful daring of a moment's surrender  
Which an age of prudence can never retract_

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She had been told ever since her birth that a young lady from a wealthy family, such as herself, was born to marry someone from the most aristocratic families at the time. It was always about power struggles and gaining a higher status.

There was no love in a marriage. Love wasn't needed when power was invovled. Women were always the tools of men to a higher success. Fathers would send their daughters off to become the wives, sometimes even concubines of powerful men in exchange for more authorities over things.

What happened afterwards in their marriage wasn't important. Those innocent young girls who dreamed about a wonderful husband and a family were forced to face the cold, harsh reality. Their husbands, whom they've never met before until the holy ceremony, were nothing like what they had in mind.

Most of the girls were being used as a sex toys and breeding machine. If they were able to give birth to a boy, they might be able to keep their status as the wife or concubines.

But if they gave birth to a girl, they were considered as disgraceful and were often badly treated like servants. However, even if the wife gave birth to a girl, her child would still be better treated than a girl from a concubine.

That was the destiny of women from that era, and throughout recorded history. It wasn't fair. Sakura often thought. Women were just as good as men, perhaps even better. But men dominated the imperial court. They were the ones with the real political powers, rendering women powerless.

It wasn't fair.

But it was the way life was. There wasn't much she could do other than to watch, silently in the darkness. It irked her to no end that no woman had ever come forth to defy their destiny. No woman had ever rebel against her husband. And she knew the reason behind it, a bit all too well, from her mother.

It was because of Love.

Women were stupid and naïve enough to fall in love with their heartless husbands over a few gifts or poisonously sweeten words and unrealistic promises of a better future. After they lose their beauty and youth, they were pushed away and were treated like nothing but dirt.

Love, such a pathetic ideology, was at the heart of those women's miseries and sufferings. Their visions were blinded; their minds were poisoned by fantasies of a beautiful and dazzling future. To worsen their predicaments, they still tried so hard to please their husbands in a desperate attempt to win over those hearts when those men had none to begin with.

Every day, they fought endlessly for their husbands' attentions. Every day they had to compete against each other to see who would be the most beautiful woman in the house and who would win their husband's heart. Dirty tricks were commonly used to make their competitors look bad.

It was almost pathetic.

Her mother, Nadeshiko, was once a beautiful woman; elegant and witty. She was born into a wealthy and well-respected family. Her father was a successful merchant in Heian-kyo. Brilliant and honest he was, but sometimes a bit too straightforward. And this nature of his made him many enemies.

When her mother was only sixteen, her family business went bankrupted over one night. Her father's enemies ganged up on them and brought down their business by pulling a few strings here and there.

Nadeshiko's father committed suicide shortly because his pride wouldn't allow such a disgraceful failure. Her mother fell terribly ill and passed a way soon after because she didn't know how to support the family, leaving Nadeshiko homeless and in a great amount of debts.

Nadeshiko was supposed to marry Kinomoto Fujitaka in a deal made by the two families long ago. And her husband, Fujitaka, was the owner of the biggest silk selling stores in Heian-kyo at the time. But because of her family's downfall, she was no longer wanted.

But the Kinomoto family kept their words, though with much reluctance, and took her in. Only under the condition that she could only be a concubine. Nadeshiko knew this was the only way for her to survive, in a world where women were powerless and where everything was ran by men.

Nadeshiko swallowed her pride and dignity and married Fujitaka. A year later, she was born, and was named Sakura because she was as beautiful and as pure as the fallen cherry blossom petals. However, her gender decided her fate the very moment she was born.

Unwanted by her father despite her the ingeniousness revealed at a young age. Her beauty and talents were often overlooked, because of her mother's low status. On the other hand, her younger sister, Sakuno, born from the wife, was treated with much more respect.

Her father clearly favored Sakuno more, and it was the way things were. Sakura had accepted it long ago, because prolonged struggles to please her father would only prolong the agony.

Sakura learned at a very young age that the world was never a fair place. There wasn't any justice or right or wrong. As long as you had power, as long as you had a higher status, whatever you say would be right. Whatever you say would be the law.

And if she ever wanted to gain control over her own life, she needed power.

Over the years, she frequently sneaked into her father's study room to take out history books to read at night, since women were considered as incapable of learning at the time. She learned, through history, how to become successful, how to rise to the top.

She knew what kind of mistakes were considered as fatal and would bring her her ultimate downfall, through recorded history. And she would never make the same mistake again.

Knowledge was the key to success, and she used her talent as a fast learner to full advantage. In every single way, she was better than her sister. Much better. But she never revealed any of this to anyone in the Kinomoto household, not even to her own mother.

Silently, like a predator awaiting in the darkness, she watched silently and waited for her perfect moment to strike. She trained herself to be patient, to be able to tolerate all kinds of humiliations and mockeries brought upon by her low status.

However she wasn't someone weak and would be pushed around forever. She vowed to herself that one day, when she rose to the top, those people would pay dearly for all the things they did to her and her mother.

Her chance finally came when her younger sister ran away from her arranged marriage with the youngest son of the aristocratic Heike family, leaving the Kinomotos in distress. Fujitaka had worked very hard to tie the knot, but he miscalculated the irresponsibility of his favorite daughter.

But since Fujitaka only had two daughters, one whom everyone in Heian-kyo knew of and the other one whose existence was unheard of, it was easy for Sakura to take up Sakuno's identity and marry Syaoran, the Heike family's youngest son.

Besides, unmarried women weren't allowed to be seen in public. Thus, no one would be able to tell her and Sakuno apart. To the others' eyes, Fujitaka only has one daughter, because he denied the existence of the other and never talked about her in front of anyone.

Marrying Heike No Syaoran was her first step towards success. But she wasn't stupid like the other young girls of her age to think that her husband was everything and her duty was to give birth to a boy to secure her status in the family.

She would rip out her heart before she steps into that bridal sedan. She didn't need love in her life, because she had seen what her mother had gone through. _For a man to control a woman, all he needs to do is to capture her heart. _Nadeshiko whispered to her hearts before she got into the bridal sedan.

Nadeshiko had to learn it the hard way, but Sakura would not allow herself to make the same mistake again. Love wasn't necessary in her life when she could have something greater by being the wife of Heike No Syaoran.

After all, she was a woman with great ambitions.

She would challenge the set of traditions imposed upon women and enter the world dominated by men. This was her destiny and her brilliance was her gift from god. She was meant to dominate the stage of politics and lead the battles of one of the ugliest power struggles in the Japanese history.

From this moment on, Kinomoto Sakura was dead, wiped out of existence as if she was never there in the first place.

Like a golden phoenix arisen from the ashes, she was a whole new woman now; brilliant and bright like the distant Northern Star. Her marks would be left on the unwritten pages of history books, and her stories would be passed on through oral tales or songs or poems for centuries to come.

Kinomoto Sakuno. This name would become a legend in the Japanese history, and would be remembered forever and ever until the end of time.

Her story begins here.

**II. ****Forgive, but never forgotten **

_We think of the key, each in his prison  
Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison_

_(Heian Jidai – Heian Period) 1179, Heian-Kyo, Autumn _

A slender long finger slid carelessly across the black silken material of his wedding kimono. Unbothered by the fact that he might be scratching the refined ink colored fabric.

Cold amber eyes stared into the pale blue sky that stretched over his head from the ends of the horizons like the finest silk ever. A few fleecy white clouds floated southward, carried by the gentle wind.

He ran a hand through his messy chestnut hair, reflected golden under the brilliant sun like threads weaved by divine hands. Those silken locks were tossed relentlessly into the air by the careless autumn breeze that whirled by.

Another year was about to end and he was already in his early twenties, twenty-one to be exact. He was no longer a carefree young boy practicing his wooden sword fighting techniques under a large cherry blossom tree with her watching him silently in the rain of drifting cherry blossom petals.

The gentle smile on her face still managed to tug at his heart even up to this day. Fujiwara Tomoyo. The name was carved into his heart, leaving its mark there forever and ever. She was the daughter of Fujiwara Sesshou. (sesshou: a title given to a regent who was named to assist either a child emperor before his coming of age, or an empress).

But they grew up together, and she often came to visit them because her mother was his mother's cousin. She was always around, and her ever-present unwavering smile always managed to melt away the snow and bring spring to his world. She was always there to encourage him, no matter what.

At a very young age, Syaoran vowed to marry her someday, despite the fact that she was three years older than him. He got so used to her presence, and with her he was always happy, as if the world couldn't get any better than this.

But eight years ago, his dreams of them having a family together was shattered into pieces. Eight years ago, she married his brother, Taira no Tomomori. It was almost ironic, as if the world was mocking him. Her status changed from the girl of his dreams to his sister in law.

His grip tightened around the jade stone around his neck. She had given it to him for his tenth birthday, and said it brought her good luck when she was little. Closing his eyes, ephemeral moments of happiness of them chasing after each other in the garden flashed in his mind.

He remembered their first meeting. At that time, he was only five years old and she was eight.

She was standing on the top of the wooden arched bridge inside the Taira compound, suffering the wind whipping her loose long kimono sleeves around her, tossing her hair about restlessly. Her delicate profile, together with the thin wrist and slender hand that pushed against her disobedient hair patiently, looked like something out of a picture book.

Her hair, as dark as the ashes, were adrift in the mid air. Her eyes -- the rarest and most brilliant shade of purple -- like amethysts held all the lights in the world. Her skin was pale white, reminding him of a porcelain doll.

Every single feature of hers was delicate and beautiful and divine. She was the ultimate image of perfection, graceful, dazzling, eye-catching, blindingly bright like the sun.

But things changed, people changed, their paths changed over time. Like a summer breeze threading through the field, the years were gone almost too quickly, carrying with it faint traces of nostalgia. Sixteen years might seem like a short period of time, but when he recollected every single event which occurred…

Nowadays, she was his brother's wife, the mother of two children. Their time had already passed. Like a gentle brush of shoulders, he could only grasp onto a faint amount of warmth that was rapidly dissipating into the air. _Forget about me, Syaoran, and move on._ Her soft words rang loudly in his ears, producing endless echoes that almost deafened him.

He knew they had no control over who they should marry. Marriage itself was used for political reasons, for gaining more power and a stronger back up. It wasn't fair. But it was something he had to deal with. Living under the same roof with her and seeing her as someone else's wife were almost unbearable.

But he dealt with it, and accepted it as a fact. Syaoran wasn't someone who would lose himself to unrealistic fantasies of denial. Pointless struggles could only prolong the agony.

He would never allow himself to break down because of this. He was stronger than that. He could tolerate it. He could conceal away his feelings and thoughts and smile at her even though it hurt his heart to do so.

But this was life, and in a world as harsh and as competitive as this one, love could never be everything for a man.

A man was made for something greater.

Ever since then, he had occupied himself with more work from the imperial court. Under his father's guidance, he slowly learned his way of survival in the political world where power was everything. It was a battle of life and death, and any mistake he make could potentially cost him everything.

_Patience, sharp eyes, intelligence, the ability to think ahead and a charming smile are the basic qualities a politician should have._ His father, the great Taira No Kiyomori once told him.

He could always smile charmingly to people and control his emotions well. But behind that smile, he bore his fangs.

He wasn't someone who couldn't live without love. He wasn't someone who would dwell on the past and succumb himself to alcohol in his desperate attempt to forget about her.

He would continue down the road of life, put his ingeniousness as a politician to his full advantage and surpass all his brothers and perhaps even his father some day.

He would still have these moments when thoughts of her trail into his mind unconciously, but he wouldn't dwell on them for long. Fujiwara Tomoyo, the name would be locked away in the deepest part of his heart, and never to be mentioned again.

He picked up the black kimono on the floor and headed for the folding paper screen where he would normally get changed. Within a few minutes, he was done, looking as handsome as ever. "Miyamoto." He called out, and the paper screened door suddenly slid open, revealing a short man in his late thirties.

"Hai, Master Syaoran."

"Let father know that I am ready to go to the Shinto for the wedding ceremonies." Syaoran informed, his voice slightly dull and expressionless and dismissed Miyamoto after receiving the obedient nod from Miyamoto.

Taking one last look at the jade stone around his neck, he took it off and placed it inside the delicately made wooden box lying on his studying desk.

Even though he had already moved on, his heart was still with Fujiwara Tomoyo and could never love another woman again. No matter how beautiful or how wealthy and powerful her family was.

He could never love his bride, his soon to be wedded wife, Kinomoto Sakura.

But his vow would someday fall apart.

……

**III. Everything, but really nothing at all**

_Other withered stumps of time  
Were told upon the walls; staring forms  
Heian Jidai – Heian Period, 1179, Autumn, Heian-Kyo_

Sakura sat still in the bridal sedan with her face covered by a white hood made up of pure silk called "Tsuno Kakushi", which was worn to cover the bride's "horns" and thus showing her obedience to her new husband.

Her expression was solemn as she waited and waited for the dreary commencement of her wedding ceremonies. Her fingers itched for something to hold on to. The white material that blocked her vision was irking her to no end, especially the meaning behind such practice.

Women's obedience to men…

She gnawed the corner of her mouth, furrowing her eyebrows. The haunting words echoed in her head like the never-ending monotonic chants of the monks. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly for a brief moment, she inhaled deeply to settle down the arising anger in her heart.

Endurance and tolerance—two basic requirements she must satisfy in order to accomplish something greater. Recollecting herself, her breathing became even and soundless again as she kept her eyes closed as if she was meditating.

"Miss Saku-Saku…ra, you haven't eaten anything since last night…" the young girl sitting beside her stammered with worries written all over her face. Her voice was soft and quiet as if anything louder than a bare whisper was considered as imprudent.

"Miyuki, remember what I told you yesterday. I am Sakuno now." Sakura reprimanded; her eyes half open as she glanced at the girl named Miyuki.

Miyuki was her maid, young, naïve but undoubtedly loyal at heart. She had a slightly round face and delicate features and a pair of beautiful green eyes, and soft auburn hair. She sometimes wondered if they were lost sisters of some sort.

"Sakura never existed. Kinomoto Fujitaka only has one daughter in this world, and that is me, Kinomoto Sakuno." She added with an implicit cold bitterness in her voice.

_Sakura never existed…never existed…_

Miyuki's eyes became slightly watery but she fought back the tears because she knew Miss Sakura didn't like it when she cried. _Crying is a sign of a woman's ultimate weakness. In the game of survival of the fittest, any exposed weaknesses can be the end of you._

She memorized every single word Miss Sakura had told her. Wiping away the tear that was trailing down the corner of her eyes silently, she straightened up herself and saddened eyes fell upon Sakura's beautiful face which was now covered in excessively heavy make up and hidden behind that white hood.

She didn't understand the reason behind Miss Sakura's actions, covering up her beautiful face with superfluous amount of white power. And ridiculously red blushes applied to her cheeks appeared like blood droplets onto freshly fallen snow.

Miss Sakura's beautiful complexion had been masked completely.

Perhaps she was still a bit too young to understand the complexity of Miss Sakura's tactical mind, her craftiness and firm decisions. She was only fourteen years old after all – still at the stage of where dreams of flying toward the sun with waxed wings were possible.

But Miss Sakura said the world was a dark place, only the ones who were strong, suppressive and ruthless could rise to the top_. One must know when to be kind and when to be heartless, because if you aren't harsh and resolute about what you need to do, someone will eliminate you in a blink of an eye._

_Hesitation is a weakness. When it comes down to eliminating your opponents who had threatened your survival or benefit in any way, you must to be quick and doubtless of the morality of your actions. Never doubt yourself, never hesitate, do it and get it over with._

The imperial court – a seemingly just place – was actually embraced by conspiracies and lies. Diplomats, generals, princes from the royal family plot against each other cunningly and strife for the position which held the most power.

The lust for power, for control occupied men's heart and awoken the beast in them that desired for more and more. In order to gain a place in their world, Miss Sakura had said, she had to be like them. She needed to be better than them.

It frightened her to know that Miss Sakura was intending on entering a dangerous place such as that. She had always been taught that women shouldn't interfere with men's politics. Miyuki didn't care about power or anything like that. She just wanted Miss Sakura to be safe and sound and happy.

But she knew once Miss Sakura had made her decision no one could change it, not even Lady Nadeshiko. Miyuki would not attempt to sway her, because it would be ultra vires. Whatever Miss Sakura was planning to do, she would always be there to back her up.

Miyuki had vowed long ago that she would serve Miss Sakura for the rest of her life, through thick and thin, through rich and poor. Her life was saved by Miss Sakura and she could only devote her entire life to her because it was the only way she could thank her.

The first time she met Miss Sakura was about eight years ago. She used to be a poor merchant's daughter. One day, when she and her father were traveling to Nara, they were attacked by a gang of thieves. Her father was killed when he tried to distract the thieves so she could run for her life.

She ran and ran, hid in the deep forest for days until she was truly safe again. Hungry and exhausted she was, she never stopped walking, never looked back. _Run and don't ever look back,_ were her father's last words and she would remember it perpetually, until the end of time.

Miyuki waded through the forest, the fields of flowers and entered the prosperous capital city of Japan, Heian-Kyo. Because she went on days without any food, her body reached its limit and she collapsed on the side walk.

Apathetic people strolled right past her without ever sparing a single glance. No one would care if a poor beggar looking girl with torn clothes and dirt all over her face and body died.

When she closed her eyes and prepared herself for death, an unearthly beautiful goddess from heaven approached her and handed her a nigiri (rice ball). Tears were filling in her eyes as she took it and wolfed it down.

When she looked up to thank the goddess, she saw a warm smile on the goddess's face. Poor child, here, take my hand. Soft whispers and an enchanting voice, Miyuki handed her dirty little hand to the goddess and felt a pervasive warmth encompassing her cold hand.

My name is Sakura, Kinomoto Sakura. She said, and Miyuki was mesmerized. Under the overlapping white rays of the sun, the divine goddess looked so unreal and for a fleeting moment there, Miyuki was almost certain that this was just a dream.

But it wasn't. It was reality. Miss Sakura, beautiful and pure, like the underwater curls in the sea, took her into the Kinomoto household and gave her a job as a servant girl.

But it was good enough for her. Miss Sakura gave her hopes again, and taught her many things that she never knew before. Even though their statuses were enormously different, Miss Sakura still treated her like a young sister.

From that moment on, she vowed that she would serve Miss Sakura until her last breath. She would carry this loyalty with her to her grave and if she died one day for Miss Sakura, she would have no regret.

Today was Miss Sakura's wedding day. She was the only servant girl Miss Sakura brought with her to the Taira household. It made her feel special and honored, but also sad at the same time. She knew Miss Sakura was being badly treated in the Kinomoto household while Miss Sakuno was the center of everyone's love and attention.

Inside the part of the Kinomoto compound which Miss Sakura lived with Lady Nadeshiko, she was the only servant they had, while Miss Sakuno and her mother had ten or even more servants in their large, luxurious part of the large compound.

It wasn't fair, she told herself, because Miss Sakuno was a spoiled brat who was selfish and inconsiderate of the others, the exact opposite of Miss Sakura. But only she knew how talented, beautiful, witty and kind Miss Sakura was. Whenever she complained about such unfairness, Miss Sakura would only smile faintly and pat her head gently.

_Some things are better to be kept silent. Always think before you speak, Miyuki. Because if you're not careful, someday you might have to pay for what you say. _

Miyuki knew she was talking about the servants working for Miss Sakuno. A low life servant girl like her wasn't allowed to badmouth the ladies she served. If she was ever caught doing such a disrespectable act, she could be put to death.

Miss Sakura said mildly. _Sometimes silence is better, because no one would be able to know what you're thinking. Thus, they can't pick out anything that could incriminate you in any way._

Miyuki sighed silently and looked out of the window on the bridal sedan through the tiny gap between the two pieces of silky curtains that draped over the window. There, she caught a glimpse of a handsome young man with messy chestnut hair.

But she soon realized who he was when her eyes traveled down from his face to his clothes. The groom's black kimono. _He must be Taira no Syaoran, the famous and well-respected Taira no Kiyomori's fifth son, the emperor's current favorite minister in the Imperial Court._ Miyuki thought to herself.

_Only a man like him could match Miss Sakura. _

……

Time passed by like the water flowing in a river, perpetually in motion unless acted upon by an external force or factor of some sort.

Sakura sat on the edge of the wooden ramp that extended out from the Li compound, a venerable structure that seemed to exist outside the trappings of time. She gazed at the soft glow of the lanterns that swung rhythmically back and forth on wrought-iron pegs that were shaped like vines.

The gentle wind that whirled silently by rustled her long auburn hair, sending the ends fluttering upward and swaying in its invisible path. Sakura took a deep breath, relaxing her tense and exhausted muscles. The refreshingly minty air filled her lungs. She let it out slowly, savoring the moment.

The sky was a rich shade of indigo mixed with a darkened blue color, like a refined, ebony silk dappled with stars. It was breathtakingly beautiful. It had been a long exhausting day. All the procedures of the wedding ceremony were long and strenuous and she pondered how could anyone want to ever get married after seeing this long process?

She kept her head down throughout the entire wedding. People thought she was shy and obedient and praised her for being the ideal wife for Syaoran. But she did it for a different reason. She didn't want anyone to see her face, which explained the reason behind the heavy make up.

Miyuki asked her if she had seen her husband yet during the short time span given to her to change into her second wedding kimono designed for the feast part of the wedding. And she shook her head. She just wasn't interested in it.

She didn't care about how he looked like or what he was like. All she needed from him was his power and the title of Taira no Syaoran's wife.

The voices of their guests, whom she had never even met before, had begun to taper as the night wore on, one by one sending their wishes for an eternity of happiness for the newly wedded couple. Many started departing for the comfort of their own homes, ready to call it a night.

It had certainly been a long tiring day. The celebration in honor of her wedding spanned the entirety of the afternoon and then carried well into the evening hours. The air was saturated with laughers and regards to the newly wedded couples.

But she knew those words were simply meaningless flatteries. Not that she minded any of them since she took none to heart.

Her fingers brushed through her auburn hair that cascaded like a silk waterfall over her shoulders, so elegant and divine, holding a certain degree of enigma in it. The silky locks slid pass her fingertips as she tilted her head backward and stared into the sky.

She removed the heavy, ornate hair pin that held her long hair in place and left it abandoned by her hand that rested on the cold wooden surface of the ramp. A small smile of satisfaction formed on her lips as she remembered the first the he said to her when they were alone in their new room together.

"I can give you anything, anything but love." That deep voice was powerful and sounded as if it was rumbling out of the core of the earth. He kept his voice steady when he made his offer. But she caught a hint of guilt and sadness in his words.

Could it be that he loved someone else?

Regardless what the answer was, she didn't mind. It was none of her business who he chooses to fall in love with. She needed his power, not love. And he said she could have anything she wanted…and that was good enough for her.

Chuckling lightly, she threw her head back and stared once more at the tiny, brilliant dots that lighted the night sky. She didn't see the moon. Nonetheless, it made her feel insignificantly small, looking up at the vast universe that lay beyond her reach.

_One day, it would all change. One day, she would get to the top. _

_For sure. _

……

"I understand." Her reply was curt and simple, yet so concise and revealed so much of her collectiveness. He thought she would break down when he told her that he could never love her, but she didn't, and remained surprisingly calm when she received the news from him.

The casual and nonchalant way she took it made him blink blankly at her. She always had her head low and held her graceful composure. It was hard to see her features with the overwhelmingly thick white powder layer on her face.

A part of him really wanted to see what kind of girl could have such imperturbability, but a part of him told himself that it wasn't any of his business. Their marriage was just a deal involved money and political power. The Kinomoto family wanted a strong back up for their business. The Taira family needed a long term substantial source of money to maintain their luxurious life (aside from the salaries given by the Emperor).

All he had to do was to fulfill her wishes such as buying her expensive gifts and clothes so she would report back to her father that her life at their household was great. And then let her have a son to secure her place as his official wife in a year or two.

Syaoran lowered his head, looking down at the darkened floor. He felt himself pressing all of his weight against the closed sliding doors. For now, he proposed that they sleep in separate rooms so she could live her life the way she wanted to and he could do the same with his.

And once again, she nodded in comprehension. He wasn't sure if she was truly obedient to him or she simply didn't care about their marriage. But either way, he liked the way she handled things. It left him with less trouble to deal with anyway.

The small window down the corridor was left open. Some streaks of light from the lantern hanging outside of the window stretched out on the wooden floor. The light bounced off the ground and gave it a slightly orangey tint, a soft glimmer.

He slowly made his way down the dark corridor, the dark mists of the night encompassing him.

_I'll give you anything, anything but love._

_I understand._

Two short phrases defined their relationship. Everything to them was just a deal. But soon, things would change…

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to be continued

please ignore all mistakes, I'll edit out the mistakes once the story is completed (and when I'm not lazy of course)

remember to review~

Note from Aisaki Sumi:

This isn't your typical love-mushy-fluffy romance story. There is only one main character in this story, and that is Sakura. Everyone else around her are just supporting characters -- yes that includes our beloved Syaoran. This is a historical fiction, about a woman whose name was never written on the pages of history, but the what-if's hit me.

What IF she really existed? What IF she was an important person that history never wanted to record down because during those times women weren't even considered as human beings? _Through a Looking Glass_ is an epic story about a young woman who outshines every man on this planet, who is brilliant, witty and strong, and knows exactly what she wants and how to acheive her goal. However, she never imagined love would be an ingredient in her life...and this is her story.

Remember, love in the Heian-era isn't as wildly open as nowadays. It's more implied, rather than explicitly expressed through words and actions. But this doesn't mean they don't love each other. This is a historical fiction afterall, and you just need to get used to how things were ran in that era. If you're loving for fluffy SS moments, you're reading the wrong story. In this story, SxS are more like companions and comrades, rather than lovers.

Welcome to the world of power struggles, political conspiracies, and where justice is just a meaningless word. There is bo absolute wrong or right in this story, everything is relative. The truth itself has many faces, depending on which perspective you're looking from, you may see extremely different things, and that's just life. Countless lifes are lost, and the once powerful aristocratic family falls, ending the first period of the Heian era, but only to welcome the second era of its existence. The world is constantly changing, ending, and life itself is set in a perpetually cyclic motion, where the ending is just another begining.

But one thing can transcend through time, and that is the love people have for each other. It's like the wind, you cannot see it, cannot explain it, but you can feel its gentle touches on your skin. Even if the world falls apart, it would remain the same. Forever, and ever...


	2. inevitable meeting, a brush of shoulders

**Through A Looking Glass  
**By: Aisaki Sumi

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**Chapter Two  
****Inevitable meeting, a gentle brush of shoulders**

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_Flung their smoke into the laquearia,  
Stirring the pattern on the coffered ceiling._

_Heian Jidai – Heian Period, 1179, Autumn, Heian-Kyo_

The soft morning light filtered through the tiny gapes of the paper screened sliding doors and scattered onto the well-polished wooden floor of the bedroom. The rays bounced off the highly reflective material and created a strip of golden tint.

Sakura straightened out her white kimono with pale blue patterns studded across the fabric. Her long auburn hair was breaded together and entwined into a bum of which was then covered up by a hat, wore by males from wealthy families only during the Heian Jidai.

Looking into the mirror, she saw a blurred and distorted image of a beautiful face which could light up an entire room and mesmerize its beholders. The entire heavy make up from yesterday was gone, and all the ridiculous smudges of colors were washed away as if they were never there in the first place.

Pale and smooth skin like porcelain, slightly rosy cheeks, small and cherry red lips, a delicate nose, and lucid emerald green eyes -- those features belonged to the heavenly beautiful maiden in the mirror.

Sakura inherited this rare beauty from her mother, yet she was never a day conceited with what she had. Her mother was often the center of her father's other concubines' and wife's jealousy because of her beauty, but Nadeshiko didn't know how to use her beauty for her own benefit.

Running a finger down the right side of her flawless visage, a small calculating grin slowly unveiled itself. A woman's beauty could be her fatal destruction if used incorrectly, but it could also be the ultimate weapon if put to good use. In time, this beautiful face of hers would come in handy.

Miyuki stood silently behind Sakura, watching silently with her lips pressed tightly together. Miss Sakura asked her to take out the male kimono especially designed for her small size late last night after Master Syaoran had left their master bedroom.

She didn't know exactly what happened in there, but she knew Master Syaoran didn't recognize Miss Sakura as his lawfully wedded wife. However, strangely enough, Miss Sakura didn't say anything about it. Rather, she seemed awfully relieved and cheerful about it.

And then, she was told to take out the male's kimono. Miyuki didn't question Miss Sakura's motives or the reasons behind her contentment but she knew Miss Sakura had her own reasons.

"Miyuki," Sakura suddenly called out, startling Miyuki who was lost in her own contemplation.

"Ha-hai." Miyuki quickly responded, lowering her head to hide her embarrassment. She was starring at Miss Sakura again. Even after so many years, her beauty still managed to steal away her breath. And Miyuki secretly wondered what Master Syaoran would say after he sees Miss Sakura's face.

"You're going to be me today."

This almost made Miyuki eyes pop out. Her mouth hung wide open in shock and her jaws nearly dropped to the floor. What? How? Why? All these unanswered questions bombarded her mind all at once as she gaped at Sakura in bewilderment.

Sakura chuckled softly at Miyuki's dramatic reactions. "Don't worry, just cover yourself with heavy make up like what I did yesterday and stay here. Milord already informed the Taira family that I wasn't feeling well and can't be visited by any guests in these days."

"So you don't have to worry about anything." Sakura stood up gracefully and turned around, revealing her new look to Miyuki. "Besides, you're rather tall for your age. We have the same height, the same color of eyes and hair and the same figures. You're like another copy of me."

Miyuki blinked blankly and Sakura continued on.

"From this day on, you will be Taira no Syaoran's wife while I'm out during the day. And I, will be Sakuma Ryuichi, a poet who have traveled across Japan and have only recently settled down in Heian-kyo." Sakura announced with her voice slightly lowered than usual which added masculinity to her soft voice. Even Miyuki couldn't recognize her new voice for a moment there.

Instead of seeing the fair maiden from her memories, Miyuki saw a young handsome looking childe, smiling charmingly at her_. Double identities…_ she finally understood why Miss Sakura kept her head down and had such a heavy make up on.

Calculative and confident and intelligent and beautiful were what Miss Sakura was.

Unknowingly and silently, Miss Sakura was putting her plans into motion. "Saa, I'll be going now."

……

After wandering around on the street to enjoy the shortly lasted freedom while she still could, Sakura stepped into the closest inn she could find to fill up her empty stomach a little. She hadn't eaten at all since the night before her wedding, and she was starving to death.

Finding an empty table on the right corner near the window, she sat down gracefully. The waiter boy who was serving someone else a moment ago strolled toward her and bowed deeply to show his respect. But when the waiter boy looked up and was about to ask her what she would like to order, he froze on the spot with his eyes wide open.

Sakura smiled heartwarmingly at him instead of using fans to cover up her face and blush in embarrassment like the other women during that era. "I'd like some wasabi sushi please and a cup of green tea." Sakura made her order, and watched the waiter boy snapping back into reality and scratching his head in embarrassment.

The boy bowed apologetically and dashed away as quickly as possible which she would like to assume that he was in a hurry to get her food. Before he was gone out of sight, Sakura caught the supposed unintelligible mutter from him "How can a man be that beautiful…I must be seeing things…"

Sakura shook her head lightly and tilted her chin toward the window to observe the passing by people in a lackadaisical manner. It was then an interesting conversation from the table some distance away from her caught her attention.

"Niichan, it is true that Emperor Takakura is going to take Bomon Shokushi, the daughter of Sadaijin (minister of right, a relatively high position in the Imperial court) Bomon, as his new imperial concubine?" The young boy asked urgently. Judging by the hints of the naivety revealed in his question, Sakura made an educated guess on his current age.

_He's probably around nine of ten years old, still a little kid._ Sakura thought to herself. _A spoiled little brat too._ She added disdainfully. When she was around his age, she already learned the ways of surviving in the Kinomoto household which forced her to mature quicker than the others.

"Atsumori, what have I told you about keeping your voice down and thinking before you speak?" The little boy's older brother scolded him. His deep voice sounded awfully familiar to her ears. Sakura paused for a moment and frowned, trying to remember where she had heard that deep steady voice before.

"But Syaoran-niichan! The Emperor married Tokuko-neechan for eight years already and they just had their first son, Prince Tokihito, how can he marry someone else so soon? I thought after Prince Tokihito's born, Tokuko-neechan's position as the Empress would be secured for sure--"

Before the boy could babble on any further, his older brother cut him off. "Know your position Atsumori, we are in no position of discussing the loyal family's business even if Empress Tokuko is our sister."

Sakura caught the young boy's loud exclamation of "Syaoran-neechan" and smiled faintly. _So that little brat is the great Taira no Kiyomori's youngest son…_and the man whom he referred to as "Syaoran-oneechan" must be the husband she had never met before.

Curious of what the two brothers were like, Sakura stole a glance at their table from the corner of her eyes. There, she was astonished by what came into view.

The soft rays which scattered through the open window cast upon him made the ends of his chestnut hair glow with such splendid golden glimmer. The shorter strands of these golden threads framed his delicately shaped face

He had large and cat-like sharp golden eyes and strong handsome features which made him stand out from the other men occupying the inn. His face was mature and his expression was calm and collective, almost unreadable in a sense. While the boy who was sitting across him still carried that puerility which belonged to kids only.

The difference between a boy and a man…was rather interesting to look at.

The boy named Atsumori fell silent for a moment, just for a fleeting moment though. His eyebrows were furrowed to form a knot in the center and he glared at his older brother in defiance. "But how can he do that?! And I heard Sumon Shokushi is the number one beauty in the entire Heian-Kyo! What if Emperor Takakura falls for her beauty--"

"Atsumori!" The quiet hiss was enough to make the babbling boy shut up for good this time. The temperature of the atmosphere suddenly dropped a few degrees as a ghastly silence slowly filled up the space between them.

Even Sakura had felt the oppressive and powerful aura emitted by Syaoran which clearly spelled out "shut up, right now" for the boy.

"Emperor Takakura is a smart man. He knows what he's doing. Besides, all beautiful women bring misfortune to their countries. Emperor Takakura wouldn't fall for her so easily.

Look at how many of those beautiful women caused China's different dynasty's downfalls. It's history, and Emperor Takakura knows them by heart." Syaoran sneered as he paused to take a sip of this green tea.

This comment made Sakura scoff lightly but this almost silent scoff was picked up by Syaoran's ears. He turned his chin slightly to look at the young, seemingly fragile boy sitting at a table away from theirs.

Just then, the boy turned around, revealing an unrealistically beautiful face – a face that was too feminine to be a man's, yet the boy possessed it.

Judging from the expensive-looking fabric of his kimono and his concinnity of his movements, Syaoran was sure he had to be a childe from a wealthy family in Heian-Kyo.

"Women shouldn't be blamed for men's downfalls. Being beautiful isn't their fault. Besides, why don't you look at how lechery those men were? They succumbed themselves to alcohol and sex all day long, treating women like dirt. They weren't meant to be great rulers in the first place, so their failures were only a matter of time."

The voice was slightly higher and pitchy for a grown man Syaoran noticed, yet too deep for a woman. Like a silk sliding over a blade, he could hear the underlying animosity in the boy's voice which could be easily overlooked because of the gentle and soul-calming manner he spoke in.

"Men are too conceited to admit their own mistakes and their lack of abilities which caused their own downfalls, so they blame it on those beautiful women who were forced to become their wives." Sakura tilted her chin upward and spared Syaoran a scornful glance before walking off in an elegant manner.

Money was left behind on the table she previously sat at for the food that she ordered. The waiter boy came a moment later after she left with food in his hand and was taken aback when he found her table empty again.

"I wonder where that childe went…" The waiter boy murmured to himself.

Syaoran inhaled in the soul-calming scent of the green tea in his cup before taking a sip of it. A small amused smile tugged on his lips as he recalled the way that boy left the inn. Decorous and had that little edge to him.

He liked that kind of personality.

The boy was like a rose, dangerous, occult, but unbelievably pulchritudinous. Comparing to him, Bomon Shikushi, the supposed number one beauty in Heian-kyo, was a lot more inferior.

"Oniichan…was that-that person…really a man?" Atsumori asked in disbelief, still stunned by what he saw.

"Saa…(we'll see)" The ambiguity of Syaoran's cryptic remark made Atsumori cock his head to the right in perplexity.

……

Sakura sighed heavily as she left the inn. Her stomach grumbled its protest. _Oh well, I'll just have to ask Miyuki to make me something nice once I get back_. She told herself as she strode down the street with her head up.

But she soon realized that the people who were passing her by stared at her openly and rudely. Frowning in displeasure, Sakura decided to take a short-cut down a small ally where there would be less crowded.

But as she rambled down the creaked road of the small ally, she felt a pair of eyes trained on her and observing every single movement of hers. The intensity of the stare sent shivers down her spine.

Clutching her small hands into fists, she counted to three as she swerved around to see who the stalker was. But all she caught was a glimpse of dark blue before she was held in place with her head down and something icy cold against her neck.

"Don't move." Was all she heard before the man forced a small pill down her throat.

**II. Amber and emerald, it's a small world**

_Footsteps shuffled on the stair.  
Under the firelight, under the brush, her hair, spread out in fiery points  
_

The silence between them was deafening, persistent and unstable. Even the drop of a needle could potentially shatter it completely and total chaos would take over. Sakura wanted to push the mysterious man away and throw up in a corner to see if she could get the pill out of her throat.

But she couldn't. If she moved an inch right there, her throat would be sliced and everything she worked so hard for would come to an end. Tightening her fists, she felt her nails digging into the flesh of her palm, cutting through it like a dull knife. The sudden pain kept her head clear.

She would never allow herself to die here. Never. She closed her eyes for a moment to adjust her uneven breathing pattern and calm down the frantic heart that was bouncing hysterically against her ribcage. Only when she was calm could she find a way out of this.

She waited for a moment, to see if her opponent was planning to talk at all because if he really wanted to assassinate her, he could've done so a long time ago and wouldn't haven wait until now. After assuring her life wasn't in immediate danger, Sakura felt calmer than before; though her back was still soaked in cold sweat.

It was rather ironic how she was being stalked and held hostage when it was bright and sunny out there. But what was more ironic was that no body even noticed this man stalking a young boy. Even she didn't notice it until a few moments ago.

He had to be a skilled fighter. And Sakura knew, she shouldn't underestimate his capability.

They stood there in the same position for a few more minutes but Sakura kept her cool even though her patience was waning rapidly. Suddenly, her ears picked up something. Drip. Drip. Drip. A liquid of some sort was dripping onto the floor from where he stood.

Since her head was being kept down, it wasn't hard for her to steal a quick glance at his feet. There, she saw a brilliant scarlet liquid mixed with the muddy water puddle. It was blood. She recognized it right away. He was hurt, and pretty severely too.

This put the trademark smile back onto Sakura's face again. "Are you going to talk or are you planning to stand here with me all day long and bleed to death?" She drawled lazily, showing no signs of fear.

Eriol stared at the young boy before him in shock and wondered how he could still be so calm in a life and death situation like this. If he was scared and nervous at that moment, he certainly managed to hide it unbelievably well.

Cringing a little, the burning pain shooting up from his abdominal area felt like something was clawing at his wound. Eriol used his other freehand to hold onto the area of his wound to keep the blood from gushing out of it.

But he still held his sword in place. It was the only thing he had with him that could bring him some safety and a shelter. He breathed heavily, panting and sucking on the air almost greedily. His throat was on fire and he felt exhausted and dizzy, but he knew he had to stay clear-headed.

The boy in front of him was his only ticket out of Heian-kyo alive and he wouldn't pass this good chance so easily.

"If you can get me somewhere safe to stay at, I'll give you the antidote for that poison." Eriol offered a bargain. They both wanted to live and Eriol knew the boy would not throw away this offer because if he did, he would die right now.

When their lives were being gambled in the game, they had to think twice about what they would do.

"But how do I know the pill contains some kind of poison? What if it's just some candy that looked like a pill?" She challenged him fearlessly. "What if you're just bluffing here?" Pressed Sakura provocatively.

"You'll get your answers shortly." He sneered darkly. And within a minute, Sakura felt something crushing her heart and the pain was unbearable. She couldn't breathe and her hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"This kind of poison would only attack your body five minutes after you've swallowed it, and then it would attack you every six hours. When 24 hours is up, you will die." He narrated the process of her death in such a relent manner, without any remorse. (The Japanese people don't use hours back in those days, their time system is rather complex, and I don't wanna confuse anyone here. So let's pretend they use hours.)

The pain slowly faded away and Sakura straightened herself up again, keeping her face expressionless. "I'll just have to search the entire Heian-kyo to find the antidote then. Don't underestimate what I am capable of doing."

She could just use the power of the Taira clan to find the antidote that could cure her. After all, Syaoran promised her he would give her anything she wanted as long as it wasn't love.

"I know you're probably from a powerful family here in Heian-kyo. But that poison you've just swallowed is very rare. The recipe to make it and to cure it was passed down from my family. You won't be able to find it that easily within a day."

Sakura bit her lips for a moment. "You don't have a choice but to agree to the deal." He pressured her gently, a triumphant smile tugging on his lips.

Of course she didn't have any choice. Her life was in his hand and if she didn't help him, she would die and he would die.

"Deal." She agreed to it smoothly without any sign of reluctance in her soft but still masculine voice. But her hands were still in tight fists, hidden under the long sleeve of the kimono she wore.

Eriol let out a small sign of relief.

Sakura used this as a chance to move away from his sword so it wasn't aiming at the critical area on her neck anymore. She titled her head to his direction and looked straight into her "stalker's" eyes. The other's eyes widened in shock, but just very briefly.

Endless blue like the beautiful and enigmatic ocean, yet crystal clear at the same time, Sakura had to admit that the sight of those eyes made her breath hitch. He was very pretty if pretty could be used to describe a man. His features weren't as handsome as Syaoran's and had a slight feminine touch to it.

But only fools could be deceived by his somewhat fragile appearance. Because she saw the harshness in those icy blue crystals, like cutting diamonds; he was a man capable of killing if his existence was threatened. Dangerous, beautiful, and proud. Sakura smiled warmly. Her smile was blindingly beautiful.

_As deceiving as it was beautiful. _

Eriol continued to scrutinize the young boy before him. He was short and slender, somewhat svelte. And when he turned his way, Eriol felt his heart skipping a beat. A face as delicate and as beauteous as that shouldn't belong to a man. And his smile… how could a boy smile like that?

"Saa…you can stop staring at me now." A light, soft giggle interrupted Eriol's thought. Usually, he would've been disgusted by men who were too feminine to be considered as men. But for some strange reason, when se chuckled – or rather giggled—like that, it felt so natural and enchanting.

"Since we've already struck a deal here, can you please remove your sword from my neck so we can get that wound of yours cleaned up? Or would you rather stay here instead and chat?" She questioned him with a hint of playfulness added to her tone, leaving the answer to her inquiry rather obvious.

"But if you want to stay here, I don't mind." One of her long slender fingers brushed aside the strand of auburn hair that fell lose from the grip of her hat (which was supposed to keep her hair in place).

Eriol blinked, feeling slightly bewitched but he quickly shook his head to regain his consciousness. "Let's go." He mumbled, putting his sword away.

……

Sakura took off the outer most layer of clothes she wore and gave it to Eriol to cover himself up, especially the red stain from his wound. At this moment, she was almost thankful for her decision to wear a somewhat jacket-like kimono layer to hide her feminine curves.

Sakura and Eriol kept their heads dipped low as they made their way through the crowd and eventually arrived at one of the biggest and renowned tavern in Heian-Kyo. Sakura paid for a room and settled Eriol down first before their actions raised any suspicions.

Then, she called in the waiter-boy and paid him a large sum of money to get the best medicines and herbs he could get before sending the boy out. Closing the door behind her tightly and locking it up, Sakura let out a small sigh as she made her way to the inner part of the room where the bedroom was located.

"I sent out the waiter-boy to fetch some herbs and medical supplies so you can clean up that wound of yours." Sakura explained as she took a seat beside the bed he was lying on. His face was unnaturally pale she noticed, from a great loss of blood.

He rested there with his eyes closed. The bandage wrapped carelessly and very unprofessionally was soaked scarlet red and she knew, judging from the way he dealt with his wound, that he was running away from someone.

"Mind telling me your name?" The faint and curious tone she spoke in sounded strangely comforting to him.

He didn't reply right away. She could see the hesitation in his expression. "Well I was just curious you know…but you don't have to answer--"

Before she could finish her sentence, he gave out his name. "You saved me and deserve the right to know my name. It's Minamoto Yoshitsune. But most people call me by my childhood name, Eriol."

Sakura's heart skipped a beat as she studied the young man who looked no older than twenty years old. Just her luck… Minamoto Yoshitsune, the ninth son of Minamoto no Yoshitomo, was on Taira clan's most wanted list. No wonder he was hurt so badly, for god's sake he was a frigging runaway prisoner!

She heard about the news on the night of her wedding from Miyuki. No body knew about it except the Taira family members, and she wasn't supposed to know about it either. But Miyuki heard the gossips from a servant girl who served Taira no Kiyomori and immediately reported it to her.

Apparently, the Minamotos were a rising rebel clan and they were Taira clan's biggest threat. But luckily, Syaoran caught Minamoto Yoshitsune in a one on one combat when Minamoto Yoshitsune tried to assassinate his father.

Kiyomori, the head of the Taira family, planned to behead him another day then report it to the emperor that Minamoto Yoshitsune intended on assassinating the emperor and the empress.

It was a flawless plan, using Minamoto Yoshitsune as a scapegoat. This way, Kiyomori would seem like the hero of Japan because he protected the Emperor from a possible assassination. But at the same time, he also got rid of the brother of his opponent. One stone for two birds, it was a brilliant plan.

Except Kiyomori underestimated Minamoto Yoshitsune's abilities and he also miscalculated the part about his son's new wife aiding his enemy in his escape.

Eriol reopened his eyes quickly after hearing no reply from the boy before him and glared at Sakura warily. "What?" He demanded, keeping his guards up again. No body in Heian-kyo should know the name "Minamoto Yoshitsune", unless he was from the Taira family.

Kiyomori planned to kill him tonight and then report it to the emperor the next day so he wouldn't even get the chance to speak for himself. A part of Eriol really didn't want to kill the young boy who saved his life, but if he knew his name somehow it would mean that he was an ally of the Taira clan. Thus, his enemy.

Sakura saw the iciness in his blue eyes and knew the way she acted raised his suspicions. Smiling casually again, Sakura replied. "Oh nothing, I was just curious why you told me your childhood name." Her gaze aslant as her penetrating green eyes fell on him again.

Eriol looked away and said nothing.

"Maa, my name is Sakuma Ryuichi, and it's a pleasure to meet you." Sakura introduced herself in a light and cheerful tone of voice which eased up the tension that filled the air between them a moment ago.

Just then, they heard a loud knock on the door. Sakura dropped the smile on her face and gestured him to hide under the bed quickly. The knocking didn't ease up, it only became louder. The loud bangs blended in so easily with the frantic beating of her heart.

After Eriol crawled under the bed, Sakura straightened out her kimono and headed for the door. But when she opened it, she saw a handsome man with golden amber eyes. It was none other than the husband who had never seen her before. And behind him, stood soldiers in the Taira clan's uniforms.

If she guessed it right, they were searching for Minamoto Yoshitsune, who was hiding right under the bed not far from where they stood.

She couldn't possibly show any signs of nervousness now. If Minamoto Yoshitsune died, she would die too and she couldn't let that happen.

Keeping her expression as naturally and as sincerely as ever, the corner of her mouth lifted upward just slightly and a faint smile bloomed on her lips. "Maa, what a small world we live in."

……

**III. A touch of finger tips, the spark of nerves**

_Over endless plains, stumbling in cracked earth  
Ringed by the flat horizon only_

Syaoran's eyes were widened slightly in surprise as his vision aligned with those pairs of enthralling orbs of lucid emeralds. It was none other than the boy from the inn who left an everlasting impression on him with his sharp and provocative speech.

His smile, no longer as disdainful and cold as before, stirred something deep within Syaoran's heart. His eyes traced the perfect rondure of the boy's smile.

"Maa ne. (I guess)" He agreed, staring straight into Sakura's eyes. Suddenly, he broke off their eye contact and stepped aside to let the soldiers behind him enter the room. Five soldiers came in while twenty more surrounded the tavern, guarding it and making sure nothing could come in or out of the place.

"We're on a search for a dangerous escapee who plotted to assassinate the Emeperor." Syaoran explained with his hands folded neatly together on his back. Sakura tilted her head to his way. There weren't any signs of lying on his face. It remained sincere, solemn and just.

"I hope you won't mind us looking around a bit."

Sakura scoffed coldly deep down side. If she didn't know the truth before hand, she might have believed his fabricated "truth" as well. But then again, she was just as good of a liar and pretender as he was. Pretending to be noble wasn't her thing, instead of seeing lying as immoral she saw it as a way of survival.

"Oh really?" She cocked her head to the right and asked him in surprise. "What is he like? Do you have any portraits of him? Maybe I've seen him somewhere today since I've been doing a lot of wondering around in Heian-kyo."

Offering her help as if she as just a kind childe from a wealthy family, she could ease up his suspicion of her—if he ever suspected her. Smiling flawlessly as she saw him raising an eyebrow and looking contemplatively at her.

Letting out a light-hearted and cheerful laugh that sounded like the dangling sound of wind bells, the ringing resonated in the room. A few of the soldiers who were flipping through the stuff in the closet and other places in the room stopped on track and whipped their heads around to look at her.

How can a man laugh at that…was the only thing occupying Syaoran's mind during that fleeting moment when he watched her laugh.

"I wonder around a lot to search for new sources of inspiration." She clarified and added, "'cause I'm a poet", with eyes set up the darkening sky outside of the half opened window. There was a pleasant tranquility around her which added onto the mysteriousness of her aura.

A small part of Syaoran told him that this boy wasn't whom he claimed to be, but Syaoran didn't find any evidence that would suggest otherwise. Shrugging off the strange feeling tugging in his heart, Syaoran pulled out a stroll from the pocket of his sleeve and flipped it open in front of Sakura.

"Here's a portrait of him," he held out for Sakura to take a closer look at it and focused his eyes on her face to discern any subtle changes in her facial expression.

Sakura looked down. The portrait confirmed Eriol's identity as Minamoto Yoshitsune. She could feel Syaoran's penetrating eyes on her and she knew she couldn't show any signs of familiarity with the person in the portrait.

Nodding lightly in comprehension, she looked thoughtful for a moment and shook her head at Syaoran apologetically. "Sorry, can't help you on this one. I don't recall seeing anyone who looks like him today."

The boy's expression was still as sincere and as calm as ever, Syaoran realized and gestured Sakura it was alright. "But we still have to search your place a bit to clear you off, I hope you don't mind."

"Of course, Heian-kyo's safety comes first." Sakura replied back understandingly and Syaoran nodded in return. There was an interlude of silence between them and the only sound detectable by their ears at the time was the rattling sound of the furniture in the room.

Sakura quickly surveyed the soldiers in the room and saw them scattered out throughout the entire place. But when she saw one of them searching the area only one meter away from the bed, her heart almost skipped a beat.

Eriol was still hiding under the bed.

There was no time to come with another strategy, she would just have to take a risk and gamble with their lives. Calming inner self down a bit, she enlarged her gentle, harmless smile and inquired casually, showing neither signs of panic despite the chaotic state of her mind at the moment. "How long have you guys been searching for this guy?"

Syaoran paused, recalled the approximate time they left the Taira household and did a quick calculation in his mind before responding. "For about a few hours already."

"Ah, must be tiring eh? Running around the entire Heian-kyo from house to house and from store to store just to look for one guy…" She trailed off, eyes glistening like frozen pond of emerald under the lights.

"Hn." Syaoran usually didn't like these kinds of small chats. But around the younger boy, everything just seemed so natural and the events flowed together so smoothly.

"Come and have a seat, you must be exhausted." Like the perfect hostess, she took his roughened and callused hands into hers and led him to the seat beside the bed. It was a crucial part of her plan. If he agreed to sit there, the soldiers would not search the area hear the bed because their general was sitting there.

It was a huge risk, she knew it. But there was no time left to waste. And so she took a chance with no hesitation at this point. Any signs of unnatural or unusual behavior would rise his suspicion in her.

Besides, the most dangerous place was often the safest place. And she was willing to bet her money on his blind spot. If he spotted anything unusual there, she would be doomed. But if he didn't, both she and Eriol would be saved. Under time limit and pressure, this was the only choice she had.

When their finger tips touched, Syaoran felt something warm and soft and smooth. He lowered his gaze and saw a pair of beautiful hands. Soft and creamy white skin – those were a woman's hands he recognized. A bundle of unknown feelings surged from his heart and everything became manifest now.

No wonder the boy seemed so feminine and had a delicate frame. "He" was a teenage girl disguised as a man. While Syaoran was lost in thoughts, Sakura already led him to the chair right beside the bed, where she had sat before when she found out about Eriol's identity.

Sakura saw him pausing on the spot and staring at her peculiarly, her blood instantly ran cold. Could it be that he saw something suspicious? Struggling to maintain her smile, she waved a hand in front of his face and gestured him to sit down.

The action snapped Syaoran back into reality and he took a seat. He saw the hints apprehension glinting in her eyes when he stared at her and realized she probably worried about him seeing through her disguise.

So what if she was a woman? She probably had her reason for cross-dressing as a boy. He fully comprehended the pressure placed on women in this era. They weren't allowed to have any freedom. Dressing up as a man was their only way of gaining that freedom.

This reminded him of the time when Tomoyo and he sneaked out of the house to watch the festival outside. Tomoyo had never seen it before because a lady like herself wasn't permitted to leave the household. So he suggested she could cross dress as a boy.

They were still kids at that time, young, carefree and content, living the moment while it lasted. Pushing aside the memories, he returned his attention to her.

He didn't see the need to disclose her real identity in front of all these people. Besides, she didn't do anything wrong. Why not let her enjoy this freedom while she still could?

Sakura let out a silent sigh of relief when she saw him settling down on the chair. Taking a seat next to him on the bed herself, she sat in a position so that her long kimono sleeve draped over the bed and to the floor to cover up Eriol's hiding place.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your conversation with your younger brother today." She suddenly brought up the little meeting they had in the inn.

"It's quite alright. You did have a good point there though." Syaoran assured her as he recalled how sharp and glib the "boy" was. Besides, "he" did have a rather good point.

Casting a seemingly nonchalant look at her way, everything started to link together now as to why "he" reacted so strongly to his comment of "all beautiful women bring disasters".

After all, the "boy" "himself" was a woman, a very beautiful and witty one.

His answer caught Sakura off guard. She was expecting more of a "humph" from him. After all, she did insult men in general and from the men she knew in her life, it should've been a big blow to their pride and ego.

Syaoran saw the stunned look in her eyes and the disbeliefs written all over her face, and felt the corner of his mouth lifting just slightly.

Just then, the soldiers lined up in the center of the room and one of them stepped forward and reported their findings. "General, we've searched the entire place and didn't find the assassin."

"Alright, on to the next room." Syaoran stood up straight and sent out his new order, his voice emotionless, stern and powerful.

But before leaving, he hesitated for a moment on whether or not he should bid the "boy" a goodbye. Before he could reach a decision, he heard a melodic "take care", and when he looked over his shoulder, he saw "him" smiling, like the sun.

_Like spring. _

Even as he walked off into the night, the "boy's" smile still remained fresh at the back of his head.

_Perhaps permanently._

After watching Syaoran and the soldiers disappearing out of the fringes of her sight, Sakura let out a small sigh of relief as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulder. Swerving around to where the bed was, she notified Eriol who was still hiding under the bed.

"You can come out now."

Slowly, Eriol crawled out from his hiding place with one of his hands covering his wound. Blood was trickling out from where his hand was and seeped through the gaps between his fingers, dying his pale hand scarlet red.

"The waiter-boy will be back in a few moments and bring you the stuff to clean up your wound with." Sakura narrated mildly. "I've kept my part of the bargain, now you need to keep yours."

Eriol fell silent for a moment and forced out a bare whisper, but it wasn't the answer Sakura wanted. "I can't give it to you."

The unwavering smile plastered on Sakura's face a moment ago cracked. Immediately, the air between them became thicker than before and the temperature of the room dropped by at least a few degrees.

"Not right now."

Narrowing her eyes with her friendly smile frozen in place, Sakura demanded. Even though her tone of voice was still as smooth and as soft before, Eriol knew she wasn't happy with his answer. He could hear the underlying danger vibrating in the air.

"And why is that?"

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to be continued

please ignore all mistakes, blink and you'll miss it


	3. Secret rendezvous, outside the trappings

**Through A Looking Glass  
**By: Aisaki Sumi

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**Chapter Three  
****A promise of returning years later **

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_Tolling reminiscent bells, that kept the hours  
And voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhausted wells._

Sakura knew what the agitation of waiting could bring. She knew how the desired end to that timeless insanity felt like a free fall that would never come even though she knew it inevitably would. Her mind would create agitation as it would question the laws of physics in an illogical thought process.

Time never stopped, slowed, sped or leapt. It always moved in a constant manner. Embracing its consistence was an impossible task.

The passage of time was always consistent.

The passage of time after being filtered through one's heat wasn't.

And this moment, with the awkward silence ringing sadistically in her ears, felt like an eternity. Emerald bored into endless blue, she waited, breathed, and watched; he stared back, his chest rising and falling rapidly. To them, time was put on pause.

Waiting. Both had different thoughts harbored in their minds and wanted something from each other, yet none ever attempted to make that request.

Instead, they waited and waited. For something to change, for the silk to melt into their skin, or for the tatami pad stacked together neatly on the table to catch on fire, or the stars to fall out of the sky they couldn't see from inside this room.

They waited for the silence to end so all the masks could be torn off; so everything would be laid down on the table. It was then a quiet knock on the wooden door shattered the heavy silence between them, directing their attentions towards the silhouette projected onto the paper screen door.

Eriol's grip on his sword tightened and Sakura eyed him to settle down and lay down on the bed, at the same time cover himself up with the bed sheets while she made her way across the room to see who it was.

Opening the paper screened door, a sullen young face came into view. The girl was no older than fifteen. Her long hair like the finest ebony were braided into two buns and pinned in place with two red ribbons. Her eyes were the rarest color of scarlet red, reminding Sakura of the color of the dusk.

The girl's eyes widened slightly as she looked up at Sakura's face but it was gone as soon as it surfaced. Sullen and somewhat defiant, she bowed to Sakura reluctantly and held out a box stiffly, gesturing Sakura to take it.

Sakura put on her charming smile and muttered a quick thanks to the red-eyed girl, but she dashed away quickly as soon as the packaged she was told to deliver landed into Sakura's hand. Chuckling to herself softly in light amusement, Sakura watched the young girl scampering away as if she had just seen a monster and shook her head.

Closing the door behind her, Sakura brought the package to Eriol's bed. "Here, clean up that wound of yours and put on this new kimono." She started to take out the different things in the package, the new kimono, bandages, and some herbs to clean up his wound with.

"Get read fast and we're leaving as soon as you're done. Taira no Syaoran will come back for another round of search soon, for sure, and my plan won't work again."

Eriol nodded in reply. Just when he was about to take off his blood drenched kimono, he flickered a glance up at Sakura unsurely and Sakura immediately understood that he wanted some privacy. Getting up and straightening out the wrinkled fabric of her kimono, Sakura headed for the door.

But before she left, she heard a hushed apology. "I'm sorry." It made her pause for just the briefest moment before she proceeded on with what she was doing a moment ago. She knew he felt guilty for not giving her the antidote she wanted so badly, but he had his reason too.

She was his only ticket out of Heian-kyou. And she helped him, not out of the kindness of her heart, but because her life was in his hand. Used and being used was what they were. Thus, words of apology weren't needed. Both of them were merely following the rules of the game of survival.

Eriol watched her disappear out of the door and found himself staring at the empty space of where she once was unblinkingly. The seemingly fragile boy kept on surprising him with everything he did and a part of Eriol really admired the boy for his quick wittiness and ability to stay calm even in a life and death situation.

The boy was almost… whimsical in a sense. One minute he was smiling brightly and chatting away about the most casual things, and the next minute he could be oppressive and icy cold. So many phases at the same time…and Eriol wondered which one represented the real him.

Like deep, still water, there was no way to tell how much the stone had sunk. Likewise, there was no way to know how far one had waded with the boy before the signs became blaringly obvious.

Grinning faintly, Eriol undressed himself and began to clean up his cuts.

……

Sketchy lines drawn by their long shadows cast upon the empty road far from the main entrance gates of Heian-Kyou. They left through the main gates which were guarded by many Taira Clan soldiers, yet none dared to stop them for a check up.

Sakura carried the wooden card which had the Kanji characters of "Taira" carved onto it, and those soldiers knew that only a member from the Taira family had such a card. They respectfully stepped aside and allowed Sakura and a cross-dressed Eriol pass through without further questioning.

After all, no one would expect a Taira family member aiding their biggest enemy in his escape.

Right after they exited Heian-Kyou, Eriol poured out some water from his water bag and washed off the heavy make up on his face with much disgust, then stripped off the female kimono in which he was forced to wear, since according to Sakura, no one would ever suspect him in that form.

It was a direct blow to his pride and dignity, but he had to do it. A part of him regretted getting onto Sakura's bad side and he was almost sure that Sakura did it out of vengeance. But then again, Sakura did keep her words of getting him out of Heian-Kyou safely.

He stole another quick glance at Sakura who was standing a few meters away from him and who was waiting patiently for him. Her hands were cupped together gracefully at her back as she stared into the velvety sky. There existed the span of stars – a blurred image of elegant, dull spectacles and a tight smile.

He didn't know what was on the card she showed to those soldiers, but the way the soldiers stepped aside so quickly and respectfully confirmed his suspicion of her background. She had to be from one of the wealthy and powerful aristocratic families in Heian-Kyou.

But the last name "Sakuma" didn't ring a bell in his head. Probably a pseudonym…but then again, it was quite understandable that she wanted to keep her name confidential. But a part of him really wanted to know who she was.

Pushing aside the thought, Eriol approached where Sakura stood and halted into a stop when she looked at him with her head cocked slightly to the right. She kept her end of the bargain, and now it was his time to keep his end of it.

Taking out his sword and sliding the blade across his finger tip, the scarlet liquid gushed out of the small wound almost immediately. A few droplets fell onto the ground. "This is the antidote to the poison." He explained, holding up his hand.

Sakura narrowed her eyes slightly. The antidote was right under her nose all along. And all along, she thought it was something that was very hard to get even if she used Syaoran's power to get it. Swerving around to face him fully, Sakura ambled over to where he was and leaned forward.

The awful taste of blood entered her mouth. She wanted to cough it out but told herself that it was the only thing that could save her life.

When her soft lips touched his fingertip, Eriol felt a spark of some sort jolting through his body. He gawked at her, from her perfect complexion to her chin and down her creamy white neck—and she had no Adam's apple!

Even though she had a small and slender form, Eriol was almost certain that she was boy in her late teens. Eriol's eyes popped wide open as he grabbed onto her elbow almost excitedly. "You—you are not a—man?" He stammered out the question.

Sakura cringed in pain and tried to break away from his tight grasp. "Of course I'm not, I never said I was one."

But he didn't mind the implicit sarcasm in her voice, instead, his grin only enlarged. Sakura frowned a little and titled her head upward, when her eyes aligned with his, she saw him grinning at her like an thrilled and overjoyed little boy.

"Don't get too overjoyed yet, the soldiers are still guarding the gates which isn't too far from here. If you don't want to die, I suggest you go right now." She mistook his happiness as success of his escape and warned.

"Right." He nodded quickly, but the bright smile was unwavering. "I'll be back." He vowed quietly, as if to himself, and Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"I'll be back, for sure." He repeated, but with more persistence this time as if he was trying to convince her and left. But before that, he gave her one last look, almost lingering in a sense.

She watched him take off and disappearing into the night like a wanderer of the darkness. Rubbing her tired temples, she was ready to call it a night. Sakura headed back to the gates of Heian-Kyou and for the household and take on her sister's identity again.

She didn't take his words seriously when he vowed that he would come back one day, but she was soon to be proved wrong.

……

**II. It is the deep breath before the plunge **

_Winter kept us warm, covering  
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding  
_

Time fleeted by like the careless breeze. The moment was already gone before one could realize it. As the river of time continued down an unknown path towards the verge of forever, each day, each minute and each second became a part of history – a part of people's memories.

Miyuki carried a bucket of water with much difficulty and was shakily making her way to where Sakura lived. The wintry chills seeped through the thin material of her kimono and sent shivers down her spine. It was cold alright and her fingers were numbed from the pervasive coldness of Heian-Kyou's harsh winter.

Still struggling, Miyuki kept her eyes on the bucket of water and her path to ensure nothing would spill onto the well-polished wooden floor. She didn't want to be called clumsy because anything she did wrong would be blamed on Sakura, simply because she was Miss Sakura's lady-in-waiting. And she already hard enough horrible untrue things said about Miss Sakura already and had no intention of worsening it.

Her hasty footsteps slowed down and eventually halted into a stop as she approached Sakura's room. The narrow ramp that exuded from the compound seemed like an endless road, leading towards an almost magical place embraced by mysteriousness and a rare soul-calming tranquility.

This part of the compound belonged to Sakura only. Only such beautiful place could suit her. It brought out Miss Sakura's inner concinnous demeanor. And sometimes she wondered why Ms Sakura wanted to hide her true self like this and gave the Taira family a twisted and distorted image of herself.

Upon sliding open the wooden paper screened door, Miyuki's gaze swept across the dimly lit room and settled down upon the beautiful woman who was half sitting on the tatami pad and leaning against the wall, with a book in her hand. Her long auburn hair cascaded over her shoulder like the finest silk as she immersed herself in her reading.

"Miss Sakura," Miyuki called out quietly, interrupting the peaceful tranquility and her soft voice resonated in the air. She slowly lowered the heavy bucket of water to ground level and let go only until she was sure that its bottom touched the ground safely.

When she tilted her head toward Sakura's direction, she saw Sakura looking up at her, smiling elegantly and warmly as ever. Her eyes fell upon the book as she paused for a minute, as if uncertain of what she was going to say.

But she went ahead anyway. "Miss Sakura, pardon my rudeness and I know it's not my place to suggest such thing, but you should go out a bit more like the other ladies of the house." Miyuki suggested while her crafty hands worked to pour out some of the now tepid warm water into a small round-ish looking metallic bowl.

"Hmm?" Sakura drawled, playing with the book in her hand idly as she listened on, curious of what her lady-in-waiting had to say.

"Like going to the temple to pray, or participate in ladies' tea parties or something like that." Explained Miyuki, elaborating on what she thought a high-class lady like Sakura should do during her spare time. Getting up, she brought the metallic bowl to Sakura.

"Oh? You think I should hang out with those bored ladies with nothing to do other than fighting for who's the prettiest and who's more loved by their husbands?" Sakura raised an eyebrow with evident mockery in her eyes as she asked cynically, her eyes boring straight into Miyuki's.

Miyuki bit her lower lip hard and frowned resentfully as she said indignantly. "But Miss Sakura, you don't know what those people are saying about you in these days! I over heard it from the servant girls and they were saying how you're not pretty or healthy because you're always in your room and that once you die--"

Miyuki's eyes widened to twice its original size and covered her mouth hastily as a preventative measure to stop herself from blurting out anything else ourtrageous. Regret quickly flashed in her eyes, overriding the indignation Sakura saw earlier. She mentioned the word death, which was considered very lucky by the buddists.

"…once I die from some incurable disease Syaoran-sama would be able to take another 'more suitable' woman's hand am I right?" Sakura slowly finished her sentence, looking as calm as ever as if she was merely narrating someone else's fate.

Letting her gaze fall to the ground, Miyuki bit her lower lip and remained silent. She heard a cold scoff from Sakura and stole a quick glance at her from the corners of her eyes, there she saw Sakura smiling again. Puzzled, Miyuki didn't understand the sudden change of expression on Sakura's visage.

Did she find the whole thing amusing or something like that? Miyuki couldn't help but wonder and frown in slight disapproval.

The gossips and rumors were flying around the house like aimless arrows. Everyone knew about it. Everyone gossiped about it behind closed doors. Perhaps Miss Sakura was misunderstanding the seriousness of this situation because the rumors weren't just spreading around the house, but were also spreading in Heian-Kyou like a pandemic disease.

Just the other day someone was trying to tie the red string between the younger sister of Heian-Kyo's number one beauty and Syaoran-sama. (Tie the red string is a saying similar to the western expression of "cupid's arrow of love", used when someone's try match make two people).

"You're worrying too much Miyuki. Those are just rumors. People like to gossip about others because they're so pathetic themselves that they need to make other looks bad in order to make themselves look better. You don't have to take the things they say seriously. All you gotta do is turn on a blind eye and pretend it's just the wind hissing like a wild cat.

Don't stress over such insignificant things especially when you know it's not true. As long as you know it's not true, Syaoran-sama knows it's not true, then what's there to worry about?" Sakura smiled assuringly at Miyuki, patting her on the head a little. She knew Miyuki was concerned about her image and how Syaoran would react when he heard about these things because this could potentially lower her status in the house.

A woman's status and power was directly proportional to how much attention her husband would gave her. And for a man to pay attention to a woman, he must be attracted to her and like her.

But Miyuki didn't know about the deal she made with Syaoran. It didn't matter if Syaoran loved her or not, or whether he pays attention to her. Her status as the great Taira No Syaoran's first lady would not be changed so easily, and if ever, at all. This was his promise to her. And at the same time, he had promised to indulge many of the things she did as long as they weren't too over the line.

So everything was good at this moment. "Cheer up and help me get dressed."

Miyuki sighed inwardly and knew she shouldn't dwell on something Miss Sakura said she shouldn't worry about. Nodding respectfully, she took out the make up box from the closet, though somewhat reluctantly. The smile on Sakura's face never waned as she watched the divinely beautiful woman in the mirror turn into a ghostly white woman with almost hideous make up.

Her intention was never "fall in love with her husband", thus it didn't matter what he thought of her. As long as she still enjoyed the privilege she had at the moment, she could care less what he thought and did when she wasn't around.

Love wasn't necessary when one had great powers.

……

_You should visit her more often even though she's ill in bed all the times._ The words of his mother's advice rang in his ears as he made his way down the meandering long hallway that was leading towards the foreign place which he had only been to once--his so-called wife's compound.

He never saw her again after the night of their wedding. She didn't want to see him, and he didn't want to see her. She kept her end of the bargain, which was leave him alone, and he would keep his end of it which was make sure no one bothers her and the best way of doing it was to announce to the world that she suffer from a long term illness.

Arriving at her bedroom's door, Syaoran paused for a moment, but entered anyway.

"Sakuno," he tried her name on his tongue. It was the first time he ever called her by her first name, it felt somewhat strange and awkward to him but he didn't know any other term he could call her with.

The word came out as a soft echo, almost sounded as if he knew her all his life. Sakura turned slightly, looking over her shoulder with a somewhat surprised look in her eyes. But it quickly disappeared as soon as it surfaced. She put on her trademark smile and got up obediently like the perfect wife to welcome his arrival.

"Master Syaoran, please excuse my rudeness of not welcoming you at the door. Miyuki should've notified me." She lowered her head and bowed to him. Even though it sounded as if she had blamed Miyuki, but he could tell it was just polite act that she had put up for him.

"Don't worry about it." Syaoran brushed it off nonchalantly and looked around and came to a strange conclusion. "How come I don't see any servants or ladies in waiting around?" He questioned with perplexity evident in his eyes.

"I'm not really used to having too many people wandering around me all the times. Besides, Miyuki is my lady-in-waiting and she serves me really well, so I didn't see the need to have too many people around." Sakura explained cap-in-hevndly.

"Saa…souka na. (I see)" Syaoran nodded lightly in acknowledgement and bought her reason. He flashed a quick glance at her and saw her with her head low again. Even though she seemed fragile on the outside, but his gut instincts told him that she was who she seemed to be.

She only had one servant girl around – a servant girl she brought from her family – was enough to show that she didn't trust people easily and that she was enough smart to know that trusting people easily could potentially be the end of her in a deceptive place like this.

But it didn't mean he couldn't keep an eye on her either. As long as she didn't do anything too extreme, he would turn on a blind eye and indulge it all. After all, it was his promise to her. "One lady-in-waiting is too little, you should at least have one more around to serve you in this compound."

Even though she seemed calm and elegant on the outside, her fingernails were digging into the flesh of her palm underneath the cover of long kimono sleeves. Sakura wasn't stupid enough to think that he was just being a caring husband.

He wanted to add one more servant to this peaceful compound because he wanted to keep an eye on her every move, implying he didn't trust her entirely and she should be cautious of her actions. He was indirectly warning her not to step over the line.

Tightening her fists, she forced herself to smile thankfully. "I really appreciate this Syaoran-sama but the last thing I want to do is to worry you with my unimportant business." He glanced at her and lifted the corners of his mouth just slightly. It appeared to be a harmless smile, but somewhat it sent shivers down Sakura's spine.

He really wasn't someone to be taken lightly. She concluded.

Ever since he set his foot through her door, her mind raced at the speed of light as she tried to figure out a legitimate reason of his sudden visit. She just couldn't think of anything that could've caused him to come over to her place and have these little seemingly harmless chats with her.

Saa looks like she would just have to wait around and see what he had installed for her. Enlarging her obedient and gentle smile, she offered him to sit. After all, she was the perfect host and she would never show her fears or doubts to anymore.

Being the master of pretense wasn't easy, but she was intelligent enough to hold her mask in place, and so was he.

She watched him carefully as he took a seat, and sat down herself as well. "Please make yourself comfortable here. And what kind of tea would you like to have? I'll call Miyuki over to prepare it for you." Sakura offered, and just when she was about to get up, he gestured to remain where she was.

"It's alright, I just came to let you know that I'll be leaving for a few months to train some of the Taira clan soldiers to prepare them for future prevention of attempted assassinations of the emperor." Syaoran explained vaguely, eyes set on afar.

"The previous assassination already stirred fears in Heian-Kyou and we were the ones to blame for allowing that assassin escape right when he was underneath our noses."

Of course she remembered it. Taira no Kiyomori, Syaoran's father, thought his one stone for two birds plan was brilliant, but he never thought of the possibility that SHE would be involved in this underlying political struggle. Thus, he was forced to announce that the assassin escaped and call for a massive search and make the entire event public.

Sakura nodded and listened quietly while she scrutinized his handsome features from the corners of her eyes. She didn't know if it was the affect of the room's shadowing that made him appear so unreadable and mysterious, or if this was the way he is. In a way, he reminded her of a deep bottomless abyss.

"Please becareful Syaoran-sama, and I'll be praying for your safety while you're away." She replied understandingly, acting her role of the perfect loving wife. He nodded at her in satisfaction and let a serene silence wash over the two of them.

The way he described his journey was extremely vague and made it sound insignificant. But Sakura knew there was more than that to it. This was just the peaceful and calming stage before the arrival of a raging storm.

_Looks like chaos is going to embrace Heian-kyou pretty soon._ She thought to herself almost amusingly. In a way, it sounded extremely ironic to her because the name Heian meant Peace, but this place was far more dangerous and scheming than any other place in Japan.

Unlike the other women who prayed for peace, she wanted war. She looked forward to the start of a war that was going to change Heian-Kyou forever.

Because she remembered clearly: in the midst of chaos, only heroes could arise from the ashes and only the rule of survival of the fittest would apply. Status didn't matter anymore, only true talents could take one to a greater height.

But then again, this state of anarchy could either make one or destroy one, and she intended on making it to the top.

With Minamoto No Yoshitsune escaping and meeting up with his brother, it was only a matter of time before they revolt against the Emperor. To take out the emperor they must first get rid of the Taira family because only through the downfall of the powerful Taira family could they finally claim the throne.

Saa…it was the battle for the ultimate power. life was finally getting more interesting. She mused to herself. This was her chance to shine and she would not miss it.

"Anyway, mother wants to speak to you about this, which is part of the reason why I came here to inform you on it. She has this talk with every single woman married into this family and let them understand that we're a family of samurai generals, and it is our job to protect Japan and its leader so it is only natural for us to be a way for long periods of time sporadically when it is needed."

This snapped Sakura out of her thoughts. She never really wanted to social or interact with the people in this family, unless she had to, and this seemed like one of the moments when she had to put on her obedient and serene smile and be as fake as she could.

"Perhaps I should go right now, it's not polite to make the lady of the house wait." Sakura suggested, one hand pressing against the floor to pull herself up as gracefully as possible. But what she really meant was: I want to get this over with.

Syaoran, being the gentleman he was, automatically held out an aiding hand. She gave him somewhat surprised and doubtful look but took it anyway.

When their fingertips touched, Syaoran felt a familiar spark bolting through his body and his eyes widened slightly. Lowering his head a little bit, his piercing gaze paralleled with the beautiful hand resting on his palm.

The breath he inhaled in a moment ago was caught in his throat as he stared and stared at it as if his penetrating eyes were trying to puncture through the smooth pale skin.

Her skin was soft and cream, just like the last time he had touched it, though unintentionally. And Syaoran was struck to a realization. He couldn't be wrong and was rarely wrong, but this time, he almost wished that he was wrong, because it was none other than that "boy's" hand he was holding at this moment.

……

**III. ****Secret rendezvous, outside the trappings of time**

_The meaningless plungings of water and the wind,  
Theatrical distances, bronze shadows heaped_

Stunned for a moment there as if time was placed on pause, and as if all the motions in the world were frozen in place like a still water color painting, Syaoran stared down at the beautiful hand resting on the callused surface of his palm. His lips parted slightly.

Sharp, cat-like amber eyes traced the contours of those delicate long fingers from their polished tips their other end. He flickered up a glance at her, aligning their visions. He saw confusion and surprise flash briefly in her eyes – so briefly that his eyes barely caught it.

In the depths of her emerald orbs, like an endless and boundless sea of green, Syaoran found the same pride and fierce indignation he saw in the "boy's" eyes. Even with the heavy make up and distractive thick eyeliner in place, he still saw the resemblance in their ethereal features.

So she was that "boy" – that mysterious, exceptionally beautiful boy with a captivating, unwavering smile regardless of the predicament "he" was in. Feeling a small smile blooming on his lips, Syaoran let go of her hand and gave her a lingering look before turning away to take the lead.

This was getting interesting, and his gut instincts were proven to be right once again. She wasn't whom she appeared to be, but so wasn't he. Having an obedient wife who would do anything as he asked would be boring. This way was somewhat better. _It adds more excitement to life, in a sense. _Besides, as long as she didn't do anything too overboard, he didn't see the problem of sticking his nose into the things she does during her own time.

Once Sakura saw him turning his back on her, she felt suddenly it was easier to breath again. She didn't like his aura. It was too oppressive and cryptic. She didn't like it when she didn't know much about him. The guessing game was fun, but only to a certain extent. Passing that point it would become frustrating.

She wasn't very fond of his eyes either. There was just something about them that simply irked her to no end. Like Infinite amber glistening with a hint of mischief and iciness -- such beautiful contradicting elements clashing into one – it spelled out _danger_.

Specially that smile of his, although she saw it more as a faint smirk, as if he was snickering about a joke that only he knew about, and most likely, the joke would be on her. But more importantly, under his intensive and penetrating gaze, she always felt like her façade would crack and fall apart.

……

"Princess Meiling what are you doing?!"

The tip of the brush came into a messy, faltering stop, while the ink continued to bleed an ugly splotch on the mesmerizing watercolor painting, and it was right in the center of it too. Meiling looked up from her ruined painting, which was actually a portrait of the young man with ethereal beauty – the one that captured her heart with a warm smile and a pair of brilliant emerald green eyes.

Startled and greatly annoyed by what she would call a rude interruption, she narrowed her fire-like eyes into slits and cast up a glance at the old-aged man in front of her. He held onto his long silver stranded beard for a brief moment as if he was contemplating over a very sophisticated philosophical theory, and ran his fingers through it slowly.

Meiling knew this gesture very well, unfortunately. She stifled an impatient sigh, "what is it this time? Did I do something horrifically wrong that disgraced the royal family or did I fail again as the last princess of the Tang dynasty??" She challenged, struggling hard to keep her voice from rising with anger.

"Princess Meiling," he sighed, sounding tired, the shadows that cast upon his aged face masked his eyes and made his expression almost unreadable. "The Tang dynasty fell when you were just a baby.

While the entire loyal family was massacred by the rebels, the Empress, your mother, asked me to fled the country and raised you as my own daughter until the you are old enough to understand the responsibility that lies on your shoulders." A hiatus, as he recalled those unforgettable events.

"You are the last princess of Tang Dynasty—and the only one that can revive it again. China right now is in the midst of the greatest chaos that have ever embraced this ancient country, and it will be your duty to gather the pieces together again, and fulfill your destiny as the ruler of the revived Tang!"

Snorting at the last comment which she had heard at least a hundred times already ever since she found out about her true identity, Meiling furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm not meant for this job. I can't run a country, and look at the current state China is in right now, how on earth am I going to revive what's already been destroyed into pieces?"

Meiling exhaled, slow and controlled. It was becoming hard to keep her voice level.

"I will assist you in fulfilling your destiny, as I have sworn to the Empress; we are safe in Japan at this moment, and I've been gathering men and sending off well-trained spies back to China to be updated on what is happening in China." He explained, like he had done so many times before.

Tang fell apart; the royal family was exterminated; they've been hiding in Japan ever since she was a baby and running this stupid Chinese-styled tavern to collect funds for their ultimate plan. Like it was ever going to work. Meiling laughed bitterly in her mind.

Shang Guan Yun stared down at the rebellious teen, and shook his head slightly. She used to be bright and obedient, until the time he told her the truth about her identity. It was then she became defiant, bitter, distant, cold, silent, and full of resentment.

He knew it was hard for her to take up this responsibility, but she was their only hope. The Empress, his younger sister sacrificed so much to take her only child to me when Tang faced its fateful down fall. No matter how much he hated pushing her like this, he had to do it and keep it up.

"Princess Meiling, I have heard from trustworthy sources that Taira no Syaoran's wife is deeply ill and probably won't be able to live long. This is your chance to sneak into the powerful Taira family as a maid and bewitch Lord Syaoran and gain a higher status as his wife. Then you can use this status to visit China and carry out our plans from there." Shang Guan Yun announced his plan, and Meiling knew she do nothing but accept it. However, Li Meiling never accept anything without a fight.

Biting her lower lip until she tasted blood, Meiling slammed her fist against the red-wood table and jumped off her seat. Her eyes were like blazing fire, and if glares could murder anyone, Shang Guan Yun would've been burned to ashes already.

And suddenly it hit her._ I could use this chance and run away… I could fake a death of some sort when I get into the Taira house and I would be free from this entire load of crap._ The thought trailed down her mind, and it undeniably brightened up her mood and made it turn an entire 180 degrees.

"Whatever, I'll do it." She sat back down, slumping into her seat with annoyance flashing in her eyes and smirked inwardly when she saw the satisfied look on Shang Guan Yun's wrinkled face.

"The Taira family has been orderly dinner from our tavern almost everyday in the recent week, and the order will come again later on today…and you will be the one delivering it this time." He clapped his hands together, and stared straight into Meiling's eyes. "Failure is not an option, remember that Princess."

……

Syaoran meandered down the zigzagging stone-laiden path idly, breathing in (almost greedily) the soul-calming scent plum blossom that pervaded the lung-freezing wintry air. Halting into a stop, he titled his head slightly upward to watch the almost fragile branches of the plum blossoms sway back and forth.

Feeling a sudden invasion of vacuity in his heart, Syaoran reminisced with a lingering look of nostalgia in his eyes. He promised Tomoyo that he would build her a garden full of plum blossoms and let it be their sanctuary – no one except them could set foot into such a heavenly place. And in that secret garden of theirs, he would propose to her and marry her.

He let out a bitter laugh, full of self-mockery. Life really had a twisted and nasty sense of humour. It enjoys prompting people into having unrealistic dreams, and just when their hope was at its highest peak, life crushes it and snickers as it watches one fall apart in despair.

He always thought Tomoyo was a part of him – someone he couldn't live without. But he was wrong, time proved him wrong. Without her, he was still standing, making through the days. Life was like this, when you think you've bumped into a dead end, or your world just fell apart. In actuality, however, there was no dead end, and nor had your world fall apart.

Everything is just a state of mind, and nothing is ever absolute.

Like he had told himself so many times before, from now on, Tomoyo will be a memory that he would treasure in the deepest part of his heart – a dream from the distant past that he would never forget – and nothing more than that.

But he still unconsciously wandered to this place. Every now and then, he would come here -- to the place where most of these memorized where buried under – where he would indulge himself and take off his masque, and let his true feelings show, even if it was only temporary.

Shaking his head slightly to drive away the trains of thoughts that were rushing into his mind, Syaoran turned to gaze at the plum blossoms again. His eyes softened as he remembered the first time he showed her this place and how she danced through the falling petals in joy…

For a moment there, he almost thought he saw her again. Standing in the rain of plum blossom petals, elegantly poised as always, but she looked different somehow. She wasn't the same Tomoyo from his most treasured memories.

Suddenly, his eyes widened with shock and disbelief. Could it be…could it be her?

Tomoyo brushed aside the stand of hair that fell into her eyes, and smiled, her eyes twinkling. "Syaoran-sama. How have you been?"

……

Meiling had been holding a hamper with bentos sacked neatly together, meandering down a singularly dreary alley alone, and at length found herself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy yet sumptuous mansion of the eminent Taira family. But with the first glimpse of the luxurious building, full of pageantries, a sense of insufferable gloom pervaded her spirit.

She inhaled deeply, and tilted her head to look upon the scene before her, with an utter depression of soul which she could compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon optium, like the bitter lapse into everyday life, like the hideous dropping off the veil.

There was an iciness, a sinking and a sickening of the heart -- an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime.

This was the Taira household, and her chance to remodel her life and her supposed destiny. Though she could not restrain herself from contemplation what unnerved her when she first set her eyes upon this building.

It was a mystery, so insoluble that she could not grapple with the shadowy fancies that crowded upon her as she pondered, and she was forced to fall back upon the unsatisfactory conclusion that, while beyond doubt, there are combinations of unspeakable objects which have the power of affecting us. And incontestably, the analysis of such power lies among considerations beyond our depths.

Approaching the soldiers who were guarding the side entrance which serves the singular purpose of permitting the movements of servants entering and leaving the compound, without disturbing its proprietors. Meiling pulled out the previously prepared wooden identification card which conceded her the freedom to leave and enter the household with loosened security checks, whenever she was running errands for the masters of this mansion.

The soldier wearing the easily recognizable uniform, which identified him as a private soldier serving the Taira Clan, took a quick glance at Meiling's identification card and sent her a small nod of approval, stating "You may enter."

"Thank you, sir." Meiling uttered her barely audible gratitude, and kept her head lowered the entire time, showing her obedience and humbleness. The soldier then ushered her into the presence of the interior of the household which resided the most powerful and Junoesque people in Heian-kyo.

What needs to be done, must be done. She imparted the words of wisdom to herself, as she felt the gates closing heavily behind her. With ruby-coloured eyes fixed on what was presented before her, on the whole mansion and domain, hung an atmosphere peculiar to themselves and their immediate vicinity -- an atmosphere which had no affinity with the air of heaven.

The almost poisonous air, whispering the nameless fears and mysteries surrounding the mansion, was full of pestilent and mystic vapour, dull, sluggish, and faintly discernible.

……

The wintry days within the household of the highly-respected and aristocratic Taira family were dull, dark and soundless. The clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, as if prognostic of the series of unfortunate events laying ahead in the mortals' destinies. Sakura sat by the black oaken table, her eyes were hazy of cadaverousness.

The trellised panes of traditional Japanese paper sliding doors were slightly open, permitting the feeble gleams of obscure lights to make their way through the gap, and served to render sufficiently distinct the more prominent objects around the eye, however, struggled in vain to reach the remoter angles of the chamber.

It was then, the paper sliding door swung open, forcing Sakura to squint her eyes in order to adjust them to the pervasive white rays of lights that invaded her dark, sullen territories. There, Sakura saw the forever exuberant Miyuki standing before her, with a vivacious warm smile tugging on those bright pink lips.

"Miss Sakura, I've got the good luck charm you wanted from the Temple!" Miyuki exclaimed excitedly, and rushed to Sakura to show her most treasured possession, like a child eagerly presenting her treasure to the grown ups. Sakura smiled gently, before taking the good luck charm into her hands.

"I thought I had to wait for hours to get it, but once I told them I was from the Taira household, they immediately moved my placement up so I could see the priest as soon as possible." Miyuki rattled on, unaware of the waning smile on Sakura's now solemn countenance.

"Miyuki," a soft yet stringent whisper escaped Sakura's parted pallid lips, which grappled Miyuki's undivided attention almost instantly. "Never speak of your status as the Taira household's maid ever again. If it wasn't for my father's wealth, the Taira family would never have consented for a girl with such interior birth as myself, to marry into the family. And let alone, become the wife of Taira no Syaoran."

Sakura paused for a brief moment, bitterness and an unspeakable resentment polled in her eyes, yet her voice remained soothing and soul-calming, as if the story she was narrating was extraneous to her. "My inferior foreordained me, a long life of a concubine of any man with power. Yet fate believed that I could become something much greater, and thus, it brought us here, to the Taira clan. Thus, we shall be unpretentious as always, and never take advantage of the Taira family's viscounty ever again. Do you understand that, Miyuki?"

Miyuki nodded unobtrusively, while lowering her head like a child that just had done something wrong to displease her parents. "Yes, your ladyship."

Sakura smiled and slowly got up; her graceful and elegant actions suggested the exalted position she held. "I'm going to visit Syaoran-sama to deliver this good luck charm to him, for he is departing Heian-Kyo tomorrow morning with the troops, and as the dutiful wife of Taira No Syaoran, I must bid him a formal goodbye and wish him the best of luck, and a safe return to home once the rebellion is resolved."

……

Walking down the dreary, yet resplendent stone-laden trail in the Taira gardens, Meiling let out a sigh. She could not help but disrelish her lack of sense of direction, for she was absolutely lost again. Oppressing the urge of wanting to curse her self and the large compound, hitherto only reminded her of an antiquity full of mysteries rather than a residence for living.

To worsen her predicament, she could not as for directions, for the strict rules of the Taira house does not allow incompetent servants to serve the masters of this mansion. If anyone discovered that she skipped the first stages of servant training, she would be put to death immediately.

Thus, at this point, all she could do was to pretend she knew exactly where she was going, and hopefully during her trip to the middle of no where, she could find her destination.

Suddenly, her nose picked up a strong scent of plum blossom. It was her mother's favourite fragrance, or so Shang Guan Yun had claimed. Though she was deprived of the chance of meeting the women whose womb she came out of, she really wanted to know who she was, the kinds of things she liked and disliked.

Following the scent on adrift, Meiling hurried down the path which was leading her to the center of the plum blossom source. Eventually, the passage she followed conducted her to a fantasy world, with plum blossom petals drifting weightlessly through the air, like millions of butterflies flying over a field of dreams.

Enchanted by the picturesque scenery she had beheld, Meiling carefully entered the land of ecstasy and mystique, and her eyes widened as she saw two lovers holding each other, through the rain of blossom petals. No wonder this place had no guards nor servants, it was a secret rendezvous for cross-stared lovers.

Meiling fancied upon witnessing such scandalous yet forlorn love, however she could not help but let out the gasp that was forced to stay in her throat.

It was then, a small delicate hand, soft yet icily cold, covered her mouth. Terror flashed in Meiling's widened eyes as she struggled in vain, but her pointless endeavours were quickly diminished as the gentle words of her captor were murmured into her ears. "Stay still if you want to live again."

Meling gulped painfully, and did as she was told by staying still, while fighting off the fears arising in her which were disheartening her. She was able to tell that her captor is a young woman, perhaps even of her age, yet a part of her questioned the credibility of this observation, for a girl of her age could never have such an oppressive and imperatorial aura.

"Who are you?" Meiling whispered, after gathering up the remaining courage in her heart. If she were to die, at least she needed to know who it was that brought her such fate.

The young woman chuckled, letting out a light-hearted quiet laughter, as if she found a sense of hilariousness in the precipitous situation. "You're a quite brave young one." The young woman mused, and Meiling wasn't certain if it was meant to be a compliment or satiric comment, mocking her miserable predicament.

Not giving Meiling a chance to reply, the young woman proceeded on "Most people in your predicament, would beg me to spare their lives, which I shall ignore and take their lives without giving my action a second thought. However, you're different, and you've successfully captured my attention. My name is Kinomoto Sakuno, the wife of Taira no Syaoran, your new patroness." As soon as the words rolled off Sakura's tongue, Meiling found herself dumbfounded and caught in a web created by bewilderment.

"I do not see the reason for you to decline this offer, unless, you prefer to die." Meiling's breathe hitched as her mind dwelled upon the word death. She knew succumbing to Lady Sakuno's ascendence would be dishonouring her royal blood as the last princess of the fallen Tang Dynasty, but would be the meaning of honour and pride, when one already lost the ability to live?

"Meiling at your service, my ladyship." Meiling bit her lips and announced her decision. Either way, she just wanted to leave the Tavern and Shang Guan Yun's control, and her supposed fate of reviving the Tang Dynasty. This was good enough for her. She tried to be hopeful.

Sakura didn't seem to respond to her declaration of loyalism, but rather, directed the intense conversation to a whole different path. "You must be wondering who those people are." She began, as if speaking to herself rather than speaking to Meiling. "That man is my husband, and the lady in his arms is my sister-in-law."

The news struck Meiling like a thunderbolt, leaving her practically cataleptical. How could she watch her husband having an affair with another woman so calmly as this, especially when the woman involved is her sister in law?

"Saa, I know what you're thinking, but I have no plans of apprising you the reason of my nonchalant reaction. Now tell me Meiling, what is a servant girl like you doing in the well-known forbidden grounds of the Taira household? Correct me if I am wrong, for I've been horridly ill ever since I stepped foot into this house, that the servant girls all have been trained and well-informed of the rules of this family. So why are you not informed of this well-known unwritten rule?"

The sudden turn of the already intense conversation left Meiling holding onto her breath with trepidation, as if breathing any more of this poisonous air produced by this household would perish her soul entirely.

"I…"

.

.

.

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to be continued

ignore all mistakes, I am as blind as a bird, blink and you'll miss my mistakes.


	4. the blurred line of life and death

**Through A Looking Glass  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

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**Chapter Four A sneak attack, a revelation of identity **

_Your shadow at morning striding behind you  
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;  
I will show you fear in a handful of dust._

o

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_Heian Jidai (Heian Period), 1179, mid-winter, Heian-Kyou_

"I…" Meiling stiffened, uncertainty underlying in her voice. Despite the fact that her countenance worn a mingled expression of low perplexity and equanimity, her heart, deep down in her chest, was thudding, and beating loudly against her ribcage -- as if it was trying to break free from the constrain of her chest.

Penetrating gaze pierced through Meiling's well-hidden anxiety like the sharpest blade, a mischievous grin shaped itself on Sakura's cadaverous visage as she mused over the other's rising fears. Breaking the intense atmosphere that hung heavily between them, Sakura giggled almost melodiously, she slowly turned the stiffened Meiling around to face her, letting their views intersect.

Meiling, twisting petrified body around, with the little help from Sakura, and as the image of her captor came into view, Meiling was dumbfounded again. The young woman held no resemblance to the image of her Meiling had created in her fancies, for, she had imagined the woman to be cunning and stealthy, with an aura that challenged the beholders to bow to her grace.

Lifting her gaze, Meiling immediately grew aghast, immensely shocked at what her eyes had just beheld. A young woman of a ghastly pallid face, almost artificial, yet of the rarest beauty, stood before her in an austere manner.

Even the white powder that masked her face entirely could not cover up the beauty of her features, and if one were to miss it, they probably weren't probably perceptive enough.

And those green eyes, of the rarest shade of emerald, allured her soul, captivating her entirely -- both body and mind. They bored so much resemblance to the young man that captured her heart with just a single glimpse. Meiling glanced once again at the woman in front of her hurriedly, and then closed her eyes.

But while her lids remained thus shut, she ran over in her mind her reason for shutting them.

It was almost an impulsive movement to gain time for thought -- to make sure that her vision had not deceive her -- to calm and subdue her fancy for a more sober and more certain gaze. In a very few moments, almost too brief to have been noticed, she again looked fixedly at Sakura.

There she stood, with faint lights of the evening besprinkled over her face. The bloody red petals -- their exceeding beauty spoke to the hearts of its beholders in loud tones, of love and of the glory of God.

Here, and there, they fluttered in the atmosphere, like wilderness of dreams, sprang all over the branches of the fantastic plum blossom trees, whose tall stems stood not upright but slanted gracefully towards the fair woman, as if bowing to her beauty, for it shamed all the celestial bodies in the vast expanse of the universe.

"Do not fear, young one, for I have no interest in knowing who you are and where you came from. The past holds no importance, and a great one shall always keep her eyes set upon the future. Tis the future that one's fate lies in, not the past." Sakura said, her voice, like a lulling melody that had been softer than the wind-sharp of Aeolus, more divine than all.

"Pray, tell me, what is troubling your mind at this exact moment?" She drew on, her eyes twinkling of mischievousness and an underlying danger.

It then became manifest to Meiling. This was a chance given by God, to commence on a new journey where her past shall take hold of her no more. Holding no more hesitation, Meiling aligned her vision with Sakura's, letting those fierce, defiant crimson orbs, so full of ardour of passion, and challenged those almost devious emerald ones.

Meiling threw herself hastily at the feet of Sakura, and offered up a vow, to herself and to Heaven.

"I call the Mighty Ruler of the universe to witness the pious solemnity of my vow, that I pledge full loyalty to my lady Sakuno, for her ladyship's wish is my command, and her ladyship's deepest desires are mine deepest desires. And a curse I invoke, if I am ever proven traitorous to that promise, a penalty of exceedingly great terror shall be brought upon me, and take me to the hidden chamber of hell where my soul shall be tortured for an eternity long."

A smile of satisfactory was all that presented on Sakura's face.

……

That night, Sakura brought Meiling to the nearly disserted part of the Taira household -- the place where she called a home, if it was ever one. Miyuki scrutinized at Meiling silently, her eyes revealing distrust, have said nothing, because she trusted Miss Sakura's judgements.

Bending down to pour the herbal tea she had prepared earlier for Miss Sakura, Miyuki allowed the scent to fill the air they breathed -- it was like the perfume from the censers of the angels.

"Some tea, Miss Sakura?" Miyuki asked, handing the delicate tea cup to Sakura's frozen hands. A hint of concern flashed in Miyuki's eyes, but it disappeared as quickly has it had surfaced. Keeping her head low, as a sign of obedience, Miyuki then added. "It shall warm you up a little."

"Thank you, Miyuki." Sakura sat down, or rather kneeling down. It was an ancient Japanese tradition that one must kneel down into a sitting position, her bottom resting on her feet, as a way of showing her elegancy. Before taking a sip of the heart-warming tea, Sakura saw an awkward Meiling still standing in near the door on the fringe of her vision, and gestured the other to take a seat next to her.

"Meiling, this is Miyuki, my lady-in-waiting, and the only lady-in-waiting in this compound. You don't have to be so cautious around her. I entrust her with my all, and you shall do the same." Sakura introduced, her voice light and tender, but her eyes remained capricious. "Come, come and take a seat." She hurried.

Finally sitting down, Meiling felt extremely uncomfortable. She didn't know why, but she could feel a strong sense of unwelcoming from the timid auburn haired girl. The air was once again, heavy of an unforgiving silence, but Sakura didn't seem to have minded it.

She continued to take little sips of her tea, unaffected by the insolent exchange of glares between the two girls.

"Syaoran-sama and the troops are leaving early in the morning, immediately after sunrise. We must be ready for the departure as well." Sakura shot a glance at Miyuki's way, the other's slight tremulousness did not escape her sharp perception. "Miyuki, prepare two backpacks for tomorrow, just a few clean clothes and some food and water will do the job."

Biting her lower lip, Miyuki gnawed at the corner of her mouth, her worries were now fully evident, almost twisting her beauty. "Miss Sakura… are you, absolutely certain of joining the army?" She asked, timidly. "If you are discovered, you will be…will be…" Stammering, Miyuki tightened her fists, as if the words she was about to speak were poisonous.

As if giving her all, Miyuki gathered up all the courage she had and whispered. "You will be put to death if you are ever to be discovered!" Though, the words were rolled off her tongue with exceeding difficulty, she knew she had to say it straight out, hoping in vain that the word of death shall bring some fears into Miss Sakura's strong, almost fearless mind.

A hiatus that seemed to have lasted for a century long, Sakura finally let out her chuckled. "Miyuki-dear, if I have to fear of everything I do, I might as well not do them in the first place. Besides, my past actions all could bring me the fate of being killed if I was ever discovered. If my fate is to be put to death, then let it be. I fear do not fear death, for living is more fearsome."

Dark shadows were cast over Sakura's pale face, adding lines and sketchy shades over her features, making her hauntingly beautiful. Meiling, who remained silent through the entire period, was even more impressed by the fearlessness of Sakura's nature.

Like a phoenix imprisoned in a cage made of the finest gold, she shall rise and break through it one day. It was only a matter of time.

If she was a man, she could dominate the world with her bravery and intellects. Meiling pondered upon the subject silently, a small smile, almost too faint and trivial to be noticed played on her lips.

But Meiling was no weakling either.

Two women, embarking out on a journey that was thought to be marched by men only, how fun could that be?

It is up for Fate to decide.

……

The world was bathed in the ethereal lights of late dawn, as if dripped in a pool of orange paint. There, in the afar, came the marching soldiers, in neat, well-organized lines. It looked like a moving mass of black, with its leader at the front, wearing armours that shined so brilliantly under the blinding rays of the sun, as if it was to catch on fire.

Citizens of Heian-Kyo watched the troops march through the main streets of the city, to the distant horizon where the rebels were currently at. Weeping mothers tried so hard to peer through the black moving masses to find the familiar face that occupied their most treasured memories.

Fathers, sons, or husbands were amongst the marching troops; their face stern and full of solemnity. There were moments where doubts fleeted in their minds, where the urge of giving their loved ones one last look rushed into their bosoms -- but were all oppressed by these sense of honour and passion which had for centuries distinguished their race.

It was a heart-aching moment for all. The ones to be sent to the battlefields where they must fight to protect their emperor, their country, and their loved ones, might never come back alive again. For some, this shall be the last chance they have to take a glimpse at their loved ones, to remember them forever in their hearts. For others, this was going a beginning of the glories that shall dominate their futures.

Sakura stood on amongst the crowd with Meiling standing silently by her side. Therein the shower of pale yet still brilliant lights, her eyes found their ways to a certain man, dressed in shining silver armours. For an instance there, Sakura almost thought he outshined the Sun.

He was perfect in every single way, witty, handsome, rich and powerful, and especially of the way he treated women, with such delicacy and respect. She could see how easily one could fall in love with such a man. He was a hero to his people, proud and kingly. She could've fallen for him, if he wasn't Taira no Syaoran, if she wasn't Kinomoto Sakura.

Sadly, he was who he was, and she was who she was. And if they weren't who they were now, how could they even have met?

Pushing aside her own muses, Sakura eyed Meiling, muttering under her breathe. "Let's go. We must not lose track of them."

……

For days, Sakura and Meiling have had trailed behind the tramping troops in vicinity. With the heat of the sun baking their backs, and exhaustion swelling up in their limps, they carried on their great march with exceeding difficulty. They roamed onto the vale, with a wide range of giant hills that hung beetling around about it.

The foliage of many thousands of forest trees brushed harshly against their clothes. Their feet, crushed to death the glories of many millions of fragrant flowers. They were careful of keeping a close and careful distance with the troops, thus choosing a more dangerous path which allowed them to keep their sense of direction, but also keeping them out of the sights of Syaoran's sentinels.

Or so they thought they were careful of their actions.

"Reports from the sentinels, general!" A young soldier in his late teens kneeled down by Syaoran's horse, halting the tired advancing troops into a full stop.

"What news do you bring with you?" Syaoran frowned in displeasure, and urged. "Speak."

"Your lordship, we have captured two spies of the enemies." The young solider responded proudly, but was afraid to meet the eyes of the general of his greatest admiration.

"Spies?" Syaoran drawled, but the iciness that underlined his voice sent shivers down everyone's spine. His lips were pressed together into a thin line, forming a beautiful curve, revealing danger and unsaid promises of a fate worse than death for those who dared to oppose him.

"Bring them to me." Ordered he, with one of his hands tightening its grasp on his sword.

"Yes, your lordship." The young soldier answered, and eyed two other soldiers to bring out the prisoners. Within instances, two young men, possibly of the age of sixteen or seventeen were brought to Syaoran's feet. Their clothes were torn and ripped, their hair had fell lose with a few strands hanging upon their faces, masking their expressions.

One of them had familiar looking auburn hair. And this caused Syaoran's heart to skip a beat. It couldn't possibly have been her. She might be a brave and quick-witty woman, but coming to the battlefield? She couldn't be that brave. Could she?

Irritated and disturbed by his own thoughts, Syaoran gave out another order, hoping it could prove his instincts wrong.

"Tilt their heads upward and reveal me their faces." The words seemed to have rumbled out of the cores of the earth.

Sakura felt someone pulling her hair upward, and there, she saw a man, astonished and bewildered. Never in his wildest dream could he have imagined their eyes aligning in a place such as this, and in a circumstance such as this. Ignoring the pains from her body and head, she lifted the corners of her lips upward, just ever so slightly.

"Your possibly forgotten acquaintance; Sakuma Ryuichi, at your service, my lord." Sakura smirked, bowing politely to the speechless Syaoran. "And this young boy beside me is no spy of the enemy either, for he is my childhood friend, a loyal servant to the Emperor and the people of Heian-Kyo---"

Before Sakura could finish her brief introduction of who Meiling was so she could clear off Syaoran's suspicion of her, Taira no Atsumori cut in, exclaiming vivaciously. "It's you! I recognize you! Brother and I met you in the---"

"Atsumori, be quiet." Syaoran growled at the overly-excited boy. Feeling a horrible migraine coming at his way, Syaoran forced himself to remain calm so he could have a clear mind to sort of the mess placed before him. "Tell Yukito to lead the troops to the river bank for a short recess. And take Sakuma-san's childhood friend with you, for I'd like to have a private audience for the conversation that I shall have with Sakuma-san."

Sakura could almost hear the gritting sounds of his teeth as he forced the words out of his mouth. Suppressing the urge to chuckle, she took her arms back from the grips of the soldiers and watched them walk away in perplexity. Suddenly, she felt a strong grapple on her frail arm, the force was almost enough to crush her bones.

"What on earth do you think you're doing here?!" He hissed harshly into her ears, his warm breathe tickling her neck.

"I've come to provide my services to your lordship." Sakura answered calmly, putting on her perfect act, utterly oblivious to the true reason behind his fury. She thought that it came from her reckless actions of following the troops without telling him so, but oh she was deeply wrong. It's just she hadn't realized that yet.

Her words only angered him more. "Drop the acts, Sakuma-san, or should I say, Lady Sakuno?" Syaoran challenged, letting his words perish the pretence and defence set up by Sakura, shattering them all with the ultimate truth of her identity. He say her eyes widening, those beautiful emerald orbs that tugged at his heart relentlessly.

For a moment, he almost thought it was worth the price, to see her tough acts been torn off of her. It was almost thrilling in a sense, to know that he was the one to crack her perfect mask.

"How…how did you know…" Sakura demanded breathlessly, but she was able to quickly hide away the franticness revealed in her eyes a moment ago. Within seconds, her returned to her recollected state, as if the momentary chaos that embraced her mind was only a trick on the eye.

"Because--" Before Syaoran could finish his sentence, a loud sound of the horn was heard. It was the sound of emergency situation, with the purpose to alarm the soldiers of the attack of the enemies.

"We are under attack!! Regroup and change into defence mode! Quickly!" Cries and curses resonated in the atmosphere embraced by chaos, followed by the clangour of swords and the hisses of the bolting arrows. The scent of blood saturated the air, stirring the fears and the beasts within every man's heart. The beasts and thirst of blood-shed was awakened in their hearts.

"Find Atsumori and hide!" Syaoran bellowed at her, rising his voice in an attempt to suppress the wails of men and the clashing sounds of metals. "NOW!!!" He gave her arm a rough push as he tried to distant her from the chaotic battlefields.

Sakura nodded frantically, her cold, sweaty hands fumbled their way to the sword she had prepared herself with earlier, in case of emergency. But she never thought of herself using it this soon. She came to join the army, not to fight in battles, but use her extensive knowledge of military sciences and war strategies to gain herself a position in the army.

"Ah!" She cried out, feeling a barbaric and crushing grasp on her shoulder that was so powerful that it knocked her off her feet. Shutting her eyes impulsively, she felt her cheeks smash against the sandy ground. But she was quickly lifted upward again. Hearing a low, husky voice that spoke of dalliance, Sakura gulped with difficulty. "So you're the boy General Eriol wanted huh…and quite a beauty too…"

"Get your dirty hands off her!" Syaoran snarled at a distance away, as he skilfully killed his way through the chaos. He even forgot about hiding her true identity. The sight of her capture stirred his heart and filled his mind with franticness.

Blood and dirt stained his handsome face, giving him a fearful appearance, as he thrust his sword into the chest of the enemy soldier that blocked his view of Sakura. There was no way he would let that barbarian harm her, absolutely no way, unless he was dead.

"Her?" The tall masculine man looked down at Sakura in bewilderment, and let out a loud almost barbaric laughter. No wonder General Eriol wanted the boy captured unharmed. With a beauty like that, genders did not matter anymore. "If you want her back, come and claim her!" With those taunting words left behind of him, he threw Sakura and himself onto the horse and dashed away.

"Atsumori, follow Yukito's orders!" Handing the chaotic battlefield to his younger brother and his best friend, Yukito, before jumping onto his horse, Syaoran narrowed his fierce amber eyes, and chased after the macho-man and cross-dressing wife.

……

**II. the blurred line of life and death**

_Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,  
Looking into the heart of light, the silence._

_Heian Jidai (Heian Period), 1179, mid-winter, Near Heian-Kyo_

The harsh wintry winds jabbed at his skin like a thousand needles striking a surface, but Syaoran minded none of it, his sole attention was set upon the blurred image of a dashing rider and his prisoner. Behind him, was a quad of the enemy troops chasing after him in a desperate attempt to aide their commander in his escape.

Furrowing his eyebrows in displeasure, Syaoran lowered his body to reduce the air resistance of his body. With a slight tilt of the head, he whispered into his house's ear, as if it could understand its master's commands. "Show them the meaning of haste." The white beast neighs, calling upon the blazing wind to its aide, accelerating to a speed that could rival the speed of light.

Behind him, the enemies followed in close vicinity. They pulled out their bows and arrows to aim at their target and take him down in vain, disregarding the fact that it was ten against one. The arrows, thrusting through the roaring wind, like lightening bolts ripping the fabric of the air into pieces before striking their target.

Syaoran's well-trained ears picked up the almost indiscernible sounds and quickly tossed a look over his shoulder to get a glimpse of where the arrows were coming from. Ducking his head, and pulling hard on the rein to direct his horse to stray from the path of the arrows.

A soft sigh of relief was breathed into the intensified air as Syaoran watched the arrows meeting each other in a single point. He would've been used as a practicing arrow target of the enemy if his reflexes quickened enough. He might have dodged a bullet right there, but more was coming at his way and the longer they rode like this, the more dangerous was it for him. And the more dangerous it was for Sakura.

He had to end it fast, real fast. His mind raced at the speed of light, conflicting thoughts and sensations rushed through him as his calculative mind tried to come up with the perfect plan in a limitedly short amount of time. Pressing his lips tightly together as his mind grasped one dangerous tactic, Syaoran himself was not found of it, but he was left with little choice.

On a battlefield, there was rarely any room left for doubts and time to dwell upon useless things. Syaoran knew it, better than everyone else. The impetuous fury of the gust of wind that came so abruptly against the riders -- almost lifted their horses off the ground. The quad pursuing Syaoran were inevitably slowed down by the wind, and their attacking arrows were halted into a stop before they could reach mid-air. The wind, almost acting like an invisible child, protected its hero and his horse.

Syaoran immediately acted towards advantages provided by Mother Nature and made a dash for the rider in front of him. This was his only chance, and his horse, could only keep this pace up for a few minutes. Even for the king of all horses, such maintaining such speed would be exceedingly difficult.

Hasty in his movements, Syaoran drew out his sword and forcefully exerted himself upwards, as if diving into the air. In a blink of an eye, for perhaps even quicker than that, he threw it towards tall masculine rider of his target, striking upon the head of the rider, who rolled off his horse, taking Sakura with him.

He, the once proud and brutishly man, couldn't before what he was feeling -- the burning pain, gnawing, and the fatal wound sucked the life out of him and he could feel his life slipping away. If he dies, he will bring the girl with him, thought he bitterly before his mind became entirely blank.

Falling before Syaoran, the man tilted his head to perceive one last look at the man who took away his life, with a lingering sense of fervent hatred before finally giving up his pesty breathe with a shriek so horrid and harsh, and withal so piercing that Saoran had fain to close his ears with his hands against the dreadful noise of it, the like whereof was never heard before.

Quickly recovering from it, Syaoran uplifted Sakura unto his horse and picked up his speed from before, as if riding on the wind. The soldiers tracking them down, witnessed the ruthless killing in great shock -- it all just happened too fast. If they hadn't beheld the events with their own eyes, they probably would've thought it was a deceptive trick played on their minds.

Their commander was killed, just like that, and how dare he challenge their pride like that! The riders growled like vengeful wolves of the night, thirsty for blood-shed. Men, when enraged, could drive their minds to the verge of insanity -- a madness that belonged to primitive beasts only. They would lose their ability to reason and their logics, and act upon impulse and the deep desire for destruction.

The arrows were shot with greater force, each and every one of them aimed for Syaoran's critical points. The attacks picked up on a higher frequency and more brutal force, and dodging them became increasingly hard for Syaoran to accomplish, especially with Sakura in his arms. One of his hands held onto Sakura's thin waist, holding her tightly to his chest for protection, while grapping onto the rein. The other hand, was much too busy with dodging the upcoming arrows with his sword.

A Sharp pain shot up from his right arm, and the sound of metal prodding at his flesh, ripping the muscle fibers blended in so perfectly with the hollowing wind. Syaoran narrowed his eyes, wincing slightly at the pain, but he did not slow down, he couldn't slow down. He could feel the warm liquid gushing out of the wound, scarlet and bright, dying his white cloth a dark shade of red.

The sight of blood excited the hunters even more, arousing them and filling their head with adrenaline rush. They snarled, not in anger, but rather, in excitement. And the forthcoming sight a precipitous cliff amused them even more, for, it was the end of the Taira clan's famous general.

Syaoran held his breathe at the scenery before him. It was the cliff of death, but there was no turning back. With Sakura in his arms, there was no way he could battle their way through the ten riders behind them, waiting to rip them into pieces. Both of their lives were in his hands and he only had one shot. Darting for the thin line that divided life and death, Syaoran inhaled deeply and whispered into Sakura's ears. "Hold on tight and trust me. I'll protect you, no matter what."

Acting singularly upon impulse, Sakura wrapped her arms around Syaoran's waist and closed her eyes. The violent wind, threw her hair about her delicate face relentlessly, as if threatening to tear her apart. And the pervasive coldness, seeped through the thin fabric of her clothes, biting at her skin. But his words warmed her heart, something that she thought she had ripped out a while ago.

Her cheeks, pressing themselves roughly against his icy cold armours, and her ears, which were muffled by the wind, miraculously caught the sound of his heart beating. Yes, his heartbeats, his rhythmic heartbeats -- forming a lulling melody that had been softer than the wind-harp of Aeolus, in murmurs growing lower and lower as she felt both of them sink to the core of the earth.

Their enemies reined their horses into a stop as they approached the tip of the cliff, one of them had a smugly look on his face. "Well, Taira no Syaoran is out of the way now…victory shall be ours! Let's report back to General Eriol."

……

Sakura tried to open the eyelids that felt as heavy as a tonne in painful attempt. Every part of her body ached with a sharp and almost soul-torturing pain -- was all too foreign to her. Wincing silently, her pretty eyebrows met each other in a tight knot at her temple, but she refused to make any noises. She had chosen this path on her free will, a life of death and pain and bloodsheds. The war shows no mercy to anyone, and only the fittest shall survive its wrath. She wasn't as strong as the men, but she had greater endurance to make up for her shortcomings.

Slowly, her eyes adjusted to its surroundings, and she was astounded at what came into view. They were in a valley, beneath the sun of dusk which threw such ethereal lights about the earth. The valley, embraced by such pleasant tranquility that if it wasn't for the experience of falling off a cliff, she would've thought they came to a wondrous dream land.

No unguided footsteps came upon this vale; for it lay away up among a range of giant hills that hung beetling around about it, shutting out the sunlight from its sweetest recesses. From the dim regions beyond the mountains at the upper end of this encircled domain, there crept out a narrow and deep river, and winding stealthily about in mazy courses, it passed way at length, through a shadowy gorge, among hills still dimmer tan those whence it had issued. There seemed to be a hushing influence in its gentle flow. No murmur arose from its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles upon which Sakura gazed, far down within its bosom, stirred not at all, but lay in a motionless content, each in its own old station, shining on gloriously forever.

The margin of the river, and of the many dazzling rivulets that glided through devious ways into its channel, and the spaces that extended from the margins away down into the depths of the streams until they reached the bed of pebbles at the bottom, were carpeted all by a light shade of whiteness, and beneath it, Sakura could almost see the soft green grass, thick, short, and perfectly-even -- as if they were hiding underneath the brilliance white for warm.

Sakura immersed herself in its exceeding beauty which seemed to speak to her heart in its sweet, heavenly tones. A small curve formed itself upon her lips, but it quickly waned away at the sight of Syaoran. His clothes were torn, stained by dirt and blood, and his face, besprinkled by muddy spots still obtained its handsomeness.

"Here, eat up. You'll need something to fill up that grumbling stomach of yours." He passed a half-burned meat to her, and she instantly frowned at its smell. If her noise had no deceived her, the meat most likely had once been a part a great horse. Widening her eyes, she glared at him in shock, as if trying to find hints of remorse or sorrow upon his countenance -- but she found none.

He killed his battle horse for food, the beast that fought long his side for those countless battles and one that saved him from the verge of death. Yet its ultimate fate was becoming something used to stuff their hungry stomachs up. How ironic. Sakura had only seen the proud beast once, lofty and honourable it was -- just like its master -- and so gorgeously white. And now, it lies as a piece of overly barbequed meat in front of her.

Biting down at it, Sakura held her breath to prevent the horridness of its smell from reaching her nostrils, and gulfed it down hastily while ignoring the fierce eyes set upon her, as if trying to pierce through her covers. Humiliated she felt, but kept her silence, because if it wasn't for him, she would've died already, and let alone eating the meat of that haughty horse.

"While you were resting, I took a look around this place." He said, his voice deprived of emotions and she found the coldness of his words almost matching the harsh coldness of the winter. "The chances of us finding a way back to the top slender, I hope you're aware of what you've brought upon yourself, Sakuno."

Sakura felt her heart skip a beat as he brought upon the one thing that she feared of discussing. She knew it was due to her recklessness that they were brought to this fate. The enemy probably scouted her and Meiling out a while ago, yet they followed so silently behind their tracks, waiting for them to bring disturbance to the tired Taira army to provide them with the perfect chance to strike. However, she felt humiliated by his taunts. He knew, long ago, of her true identity, yet he still toyed with her -- it hurt her pride, almost too greatly.

"I fear no punishment, nor death; it was my decision to make, it has nothing to do with my family. If one must be punished, then let it be me." Sakura retorted, aligning her eyes with his in a ferocious glare, challenging him, luring him into the forbidden realms. "I am just as intellectual and brave as any man. My country is embraced by chaos, with wars coming from its front and side, how could I sit and watch and hide myself behind the shields of men?"

"My husband is battling his life away for the safety of his people, how can his wife be like all those scornfully pity women? A hero's wife shall be heroic in her own ways." Sakura breathed heavily as she pronounced her reasons to him, in hopes of touching his pride, just a little bit. He might be a complex man, but strong sense of pride was so evident in his eyes, and Sakura knew, if she had to persuade him somehow, she had to start on his pride.

The air between them was oppressive and unforgiving, and the silence that filled it up -- was one that could be broken with a drop of a needle. The only sounds distinctive to the ears -- were the whistling of the wind, and the clangour of Syaoran's armours as he sat down. Sakura could feel his penetrating gaze upon her, but she remained calm and collective, for she knew, if her mask cracked right now, it shall remain cracked forever.

"If you managed to stay alive until the rescue team comes, I shall give your suggestion a thought." Syaoran suddenly said, conceding her actions in his own unforgiving way. Lowering his head to take a bite of the other piece of house meat he had prepared for himself, and Sakura noticed something rather strange about the way this particular action was carried out.

He was using his left hand, almost awkwardly, while his right hand fell weakly along his side. And it hit her. Of course, how could she have been so blind? They were chased by hundreds of murderous arrows and fell off a cliff together. It wasn't a miracle that she remained unhurt. It was he, who protected her from it all with his own body.

Narrowing her limpid green eyes, she reached over for his right arm, ignoring the perplexed looks thrown at her way. She ripped his sleeve open -- the one that was stained with mud and blood -- she could no longer tell them apart, they fused so perfectly into each other, and there what came into view made her draw up a sharp gasp.

It was the worst wound she had ever seen. The cut was so deep -- it dug through layers of his flesh, cutting countless veins in its path, and reached for his bones. She could almost see hints of them, white and hard. There was a thin, carelessly made bandit wrapped around the deepest part of the cut, which only served the part of stopping his blood circulation so crimson liquid wouldn't be gushing out of the fissure on his arm.

"Does it hurt?" She muttered a question that she didn't even know she was asking it, until the echoing of these words reached her ears.

"No. It doesn't hurt. Not anymore." He responded distantly, retaining his cold smooth demeanour, but Sakura could tell there was more warmth in his response this time, though trifling it was. It was then, a rare peaceful tranquility saturated the atmosphere between them -- rare it was -- but it was also brief, so brief that it was shattered before it could take hold of everything.

A loud sound of fabrics tearing perished the serene tranquility once and for all, Sakura had just ripped a large piece of fabric off the cleanest part of her cloth and skilfully wrapped it around Syaoran's disturbing-looking wound. Those slender and tapered fingers abruptly froze in midair awkwardly as the owner of those hands suddenly realized she was deprived of threads to secure the bandage in place.

Within seconds, an idea surfaced in her mind as a smile drew up on her lips. She untied the white ribbon that secured her hair in place and let the silky auburn hair cascade over her shoulders. The messy strands were thrown into the air by a gentle wind that just whirled by, tossing them about her face relentlessly. And Syaoran felt himself being mesmerised by such ethereal beauty that he almost forgot the fact that his arm still lay in the warmth of her palm.

He felt something tugging at the strings of his heart, just so ever briefly, and the feeling was quickly pushed away by him, almost forcefully.

But he didn't know, none knew of course, that this was the seed implanted in his heart forever and ever, silently growing into something so great and passionate that shall astound him in the future.

For now, they shall remain as their lofty and obstinate selves…

-- Until they fall in love.

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to be continued...

entirely unedited, please ignore all mistakes.

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	5. moon never beams without bringing dreams

**Through a looking glass  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

o

o

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**Chapter ****Five Filtered lights and shadows**

_Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,  
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;  
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token._

o

o

o

_Heian Jidai (Heian Period), 1179, mid-winter, Near Heian-Kyo_

It was an undeniable fact that the woman before his eyes was beautiful. In fact, this was the first time since his eyes beheld a beauty like this – a beauty rarest of all – that reminded him of the Ethiope's Jewel, so fine and elegant, and breathtaking.

She could bewitch any man with that beauty of hers, and they would do anything to draw a smile up on her cold, expressionless face – even if it was waging wars against others. Possessing something as powerful as that, Syaoran wondered if he should be fearful of it, or succumb to it like any man would.

Then, he briefly recollected what happened to Troy when Helen entered it, and what happened in the Shang Dynasty when Da Ji was brought to the imperial court by her father.

He didn't remember how long he had stared at her, watching her every movement as if trying to memorize them forever, as if trying to imprint them in his mind, as if she would disappear into thin air at any time.

Like a butterfly alighting on a leaf, her stay was ephemeral, a voice in the back of his mind had told him so, and he didn't know why. At that very instance, she didn't look earthly to him, but rather, a goddess escaped from heaven that came to the earthly bound to play. And when she loses her interest, she would vanish, leaving no traces behind as if she was never there in the first place.

Suddenly, an abruptly sharp pain shot up from his wound, and brought his mind back to reality. He refrained himself from wincing in pain, and let his eyes wander back to his wounded arm. There, he saw a neatly bandaged arm with a white ribbon wrapped around it for further security.

The atmosphere that hung between them was almost soothing, filled with an understanding from two people of alike-minds. Syaoran could catch the wisps of her scent lingering in the cold air his lungs sought for, and he greedily inhaled it – almost unconscious of his own actions.

His tongue tangled in his mouth as he tried to find the right words to say, "you shouldn't have came here." The words slipped from his lips almost instantly, when he parted his lips.

Sakura paused for the briefest moment, before giving a heave silence and turned back to her previous task. The strands of auburn locks that were tossed messily into the air, brushed against Syaoran's frozen skin.

It was hard to determine whether or not the actions were intentional or accidental. But the short contact left tingling feelings behind, and Syaoran almost flinched at it due to intuitive reflexes.

Clearing his throat, he said in a firm, authoritarian tone, which left little room for discussion. "Once the search team finds us, I'll send ten men with you to send you back to Heian-kyo." He paused for a moment there, to scrutinize the strong-headed woman before him – a woman who seemed to be fearless of the world.

"My lord, allow me to pose a question." Sakura let go of his arm, and tilted her chin upward, proudly gazing into his eyes – those endless amber pools with their depth so excellently hidden.

There was a hint of mockery glinting in her eyes, and Syaoran barely caught it, as she continued on. "Do you think women are unfit for battlefields?"

"I do not think women are inferior to men, when it comes to wisdom, but there are certain things in this world that were meant for men to triumph singularly. If a woman were to take a man's job, the world would enter a state of anarchy." Answered Syaoran smoothly, as he cleverly avoided the normal standards for women, which proved to be much offensive.

He didn't do it to please Sakura, but rather, he was never a firm believer of those definitions of women in the first place. Tomoyo was the first one to shake believes drilled into his head by society on women, and now, his supposed wife was the one to shake his believes completely.

"Then provide her with a chance to prove herself of her worth." There was underlying traces of confidence and defiance, something Syaoran had grown accustomed to since their first face-to-face meeting in that odd Chinese tavern.

With a silent sigh of exasperation, Syaoran decided to put a hiatus on this discussion. He was tired of it all, the chase, the fall, the slaughtering of his most loyal companion for the sole purpose of survival. Worries of what would happen later on should be the last things occupying his mind at this particular moment.

"When we get back, I will inform you of my answer. Get yourself some rest, a long day lies ahead tomorrow, and you shall need all the energy you can gather of to survive."

She nodded in reply and found a slightly more comfortable position. She laid down, with her back facing Syaoran, her air, like the locks of golden threads, spread across the ground Sakura slept on, and formed a sheet of auburn coloured silk.

From the angle of Syaoran's view, she looked almost fragile in a sense – her frame small and delicate. He couldn't understand her reasons of defiance. Tomoyo was a strong-headed woman, and Syaoran had always admired that trait of hers. But even she had her limits.

And the woman before his eyes, was limitless. Even if the world decides to tumble down and shatter into pieces, she would remain still, as she always had. This mere fact astonished him.

The secrets she held, hidden underneath that frail and harmless cover, intrigued him immensely. The life and death situation they had just experienced a few hours ago was no matter of coincidence.

The man he killed definitely knew his wife, and by her other identity as Sakuma Ryuichi, which was why he seemed so shocked when Syaoran revealed Sakura's true identity to him.

Why would his enemy, Minamoto no Eriol want to capture her? Or rather, how did they meet? Questions bombarded his mind as he pondered on. None of this made any sense. Syaoran knew the kind of person Eriol was, and it was simply impossible for him to expose himself like this, and let alone attack the Taira army so carelessly just so he could capture "Sakumo Ryuichi"?

Shaking his head slightly to brush aside the thoughts, Syaoran turned away to stare absent-mindedly at the sky, his warm breaths made small puffs of mist. Flakes of snow drifted pass the two of them, in their descent towards the ground, sparkling so beautifully in the late night darkness.

He fell backwards into the gentle yet icy embrace of Mother Nature, and let the magic of Faerie Queen take a hold of him. And in his dreams, he saw the Taira Clan fall. Everything around him was burned into ashes. The world he knew was no more. He was the only one standing there, amidst of all the chaos and fire.

He felt a strong burning sensation, yet his skin felt cold and sweaty. Suffocating, yes, he was suffocating.

His ears picked up a distant, almost indiscernible sound that made out to be a soft sigh, and following that sigh, he felt a cold hand touching his forehead, brushing aside his sweaty hair.

Those tapered fingers felt like cold satin sliding across his forehead, taking away all of his nightmares. He contemplated upon the right words to describe those touches – touches of an angel, he suddenly drew up a conclusion, yes, it just had to be that.

With those gentle caresses accompanying him, the burning sensations started to fade away. The disturbing sceneries of the flames and chaos slowly vanished, became so distant away from him. And the cries, the screams of despair became faint and indistinctive, and he was finally able to sleep again.

He tugged his face against a soft warm spot he had just found, and inhaled deeply (the scent was familiar, but he couldn't recall what or who it belonged to), and drifted into a deep, dreamless slumber that felt so refreshing and peaceful. It was the best sleep he had in almost sixteen years, and he greedily enjoyed the sleep while it lasted.

Sakura watched him sleep on her lap silently. His eyes were tightly shut, wearing a slight smile on his lips while he slept. It gave him an almost childish look, which was nice for a change from his usual stern expressions.

She noticed the way the moonlight would stream down to his face, and light it in soft pale silver hues, giving his skin the look of the finest porcelain.

His face was no longer as red as before, there was only a faint tinge of scarlet smudge painted on his skin. She knew exactly where this fever came from, and the thought of it made her purse her lips together into a thin line.

He received the wound for protecting her, and if something had happened to him, she would never forgive herself. It wasn't out of kindness or sympathy she just didn't want to owe him anything. She didn't want to depend on him, directly or indirectly.

The snow outside continued to drift lazily in the cold air. The flakes fell in such a peaceful and serene motion, showing its total obliviousness to a certain auburn-haired woman's inner struggles.

The sky cried for no one, but for itself.

……

The rescue team arrived the next morning, under Yukito's lead. Sakura silently gave the other a brief look, slightly surprised at his efficiency and talents to track them down so fast.

There, she saw a solemn man in his mid twenties, his hair was as white as the snow covering the earth, and his skin – was the color of ice crystals, so transparent and pale.

His eyes were so enigmatic that they reminded her of the moon, so faint and serene, beautiful in his dark and haunting ways. It was then their visions aligned, so unexpectedly and it caused Sakura's breath to hitch.

Those eyes held no emotions. They were cold and ruthless, like the eyes of the riders of the shadow realm – like the eyes of a dangerous predator lurking in the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to strike on its prey.

She had never seen anyone like that before, although she deeply admired his ability to conceal away all his sentiments and thoughts, rendering him unreadable to many, if not, everyone.

But the overwhelming oppressive aura of his, sent shivers down her spine, as if his eyes had pierced through her covers – as if he knew something about her, while she knew nothing of him.

It was then he turned away, and Sakura suddenly felt easier to breath again. She always thought Syaoran had an oppressive aura when he was serious, but his aura was differently different from this white-haired man's aura.

The feeling he gave, could freeze the ocean to its deepest depths if he really wanted to, and Sakura wondered if his soul was as empty and hollow as his eyes. After all, one's eyes are the windows to their soul – or so most people thought.

"That's Yukito-san." A somewhat coarse boyish voice, caught in the phase of a boy transforming into a man. It was also an awkward age, where the boy's voice is broken and coarse. Sakura turned to her right side to see who it was, and the bright hazel orbs of Atsumori came into view.

"He's Onii-san's best friend since childhood." After receiving a somewhat perplexed look from Sakura, Atsumori smiled and continued on. "Yukito-san is very talented, and people say when it comes to leading an army, he's the Emperor's left hand while Onii-san is the right hand."

"Souka na." Replied Sakura softly as her eyes fell back upon the distant figure of Yukito again.

……

For the next several days, the Taira army were finally able to reach the destined training camp. Sakura was given the position as the military doctor after she displayed her shocking amount of knowledge of medicine.

Her work load at first was rather heavy, since the surprise attack from a few days ago wounded one fourth of the soldiers, some just had a few scratches, while others had more serious injuries.

It was the first time she saw the cruel side of war – the disturbing images of severely wounded men, and the despair in her eyes were forever imprinted in her mind.

Unlike the other women of her era, who would much rather turn away and avoid seeing those images, hoping in vain that denial could take reality away from them, Sakura kept her eyes wide open, remembering every single detail her eyes could capture.

She told herself, on a battlefield, right and wrongs were decided by armouries and fists and blades. There was no room for hesitation or act of kindness, it was either the enemy die, or you die. Simple as that.

Fast-approaching footsteps were picked up by Sakura's sharp ears, and before she had the time to look over her shoulder, a frantic exclaim nearly deafened her.

"Sakuma-sama! The men in my division are in deep pain, they were all alright yesterday. I don't know what happened, when I went into their tent to call them up for training, I saw them lying on the ground struggling…

There—there were white foams coming out of their mouths – please help them!" The horrified man explained breathlessly and as fast as he could, the words were spewing out of his mouth and Sakura fought hard to understand what he was saying.

"Take me to their tent." Sakura ordered as she grabbed her medicine kit, and the soldier nodded firmly, hastily dashed out of Sakura's tent and led her to the men waiting for her arrival.

From the description of their conditions provided by this soldier, Sakura knew the situation was serious and they were running out of time. And with the passing of each second, their lives slip away a little more.

When they arrived at the large tent built especially for soldiers of each small division, Sakura pushed aside the heavy drapes and rushed in, only to find Syaoran and Yukito standing there, frowning deeply with lips pursed into a thin line.

She felt their eyes trained on her, but she minded none of it, for saving those lives was of more importance. She bent down and placed her tapered fingers on the main artery in one of the dying soldiers' wrist, and carefully felt his pulses.

The entire tent was occupied by a deafening silence, heavy of anxiety. Even Syaoran was more solemn than usual, as he patiently waited for Sakura's verdict. From the way she treated those wounded soldiers from a few days ago, he already saw her intensive knowledge and skill as an excellent doctor, and he knew she would not disappointment.

It was then Sakura diverted her attention away from listening to the pulses, she parted her dried lips slightly and murmured softly. "Don't worry, you'll be fine soon." Her words of comfort reached the soldier's ears and he gave her a small nod in reply. "Now, open your mouth and let me see your tongue." And he did as she said, opening her mouth to show her his purple, almost bluish hued tongue.

After closely scrutinizing her patient, Sakura patted him on the shoulder to let him know the examination was over before getting up and walking toward Syaoran. "The reaction came from the ingestion of a rare poison, and if I am not wrong, the poison is a special one that's passed down the Minamoto family." She shared the results of her examination with him, and stole a glance at Syaoran's expression from the corner of her eyes.

"The Minamoto family has a long history of experimentation with poisons." Syaoran finally asserted, his eyes narrowing and flashing with hints of dangers and of promises worse than death.

"And there's nothing I can do to save them. There is no cure for such poison. I hope you can understand." Commented Sakura in an almost nonchalant way, and clasped her hands together. "The only thing we can do right now is prevent the poison from spreading and save as many as we can."

"What do you suggest is the source of this poison?" Syaoran questioned, as his eyes surveyed the people in this tent. It was the only tent reported to show such symptoms, and he asked his confidants to check the food provided to the soldiers before the dishes were carried out.

So where did the poison come from, or rather, how did it manage to slip in and harm his men right under his nose?

"My lord, I just remembered something. A brother of mine told me yesterday that they found a clean stream of water which is just nearby. The water is much better tasting than the ones we drink every single day."

The leader of the small division reported, gazing hopefully upon the three powerful men before him. His comrades were dying, and the least he could do now was let them know what happened to them.

"Saa…it might be the water then. The Minamotos probably ordered their men to drop the poison into the small stream, so it could eventually be carried to the river that we obtain most of our water supplies from." Sakura offered, and everything became manifest.

What a cleaver plan. If they discovered this any later, the entire army would be doomed. And the Minamotos would win the war before even fighting it. Clever and dirty, she must say…but clever indeed. It's just they've miscalculated one part, and that was her.

While normal military doctors only knew how to help wounded soldiers, she knew much more. After all, spending nearly thirteen years studying medicine and politics wasn't for nothing.

She knew the knowledge she gained in those sleepless nights would reveal their usefulness in the future, but she didn't know it would be this soon.

"If this is the way they want to play this game, then be it." Syaoran drawled lazily as a smirk made its way across his lips.

**II. T****he moon never beams without bringing dreams**

_Nothing here is motionless—  
__Nothing saves the airs that brood  
__Over the magic solitude_

_Heian Jidai (Heian Period), 1179, mid-winter, Near Heian-Kyo, Taira Military Training camp_

"Urgent report, General!" Meiling forced her way through the somewhat crowded tent, and kneeled down. But before she did so, she gave Sakura a lingering look and then kept her eyes fixed on the ground with her head lowered. A scroll was held into the air, on Meiling's palms as she waited for Syaoran's approval.

Syaoran furrowed his eyebrows at the sight of the scroll. He strode towards it and grabbed it from Meiling's palms. He unrolled it in a swift motion, and skimmed through the words. As he read on, people standing in the room literally held onto the breaths, except two of course. Sakura kept her expression straight, while Yukito remained as cold and stoic as ever.

"It's a letter from the Minamoto Clan." He finally averted his attention from the bamboo scroll presented before, and announced emotionlessly. The aloof look on his face rendered his expression unreadable, except to his best friend Yukito.

Yukito knew it was Syaoran's way of expressing his angers. The colder his expression was, and the calmer his presence was, the more intimidated and furious he became.

It was like a deep plunge before a perishing storm. After all, he had been the best friend of this man, leading the three armies of Japan. Syaoran was as talented as he was powerful, and being the closest friend of such a man could have its downsides as well.

Silver eyes then slid upon the young man next to his best friend. Sakuma Ryuichi was his name. Yukito had ordered a secret search of his identity, but found none. He seemed to appear out of thin air, leaving no traces behind, just like his personality and his way of handling things – quick and clean, as if the problem had never occurred in the first place.

And his beauty, if one could describe a man by such a word, caused an alarming ripple affect in the army and to worsen the situation, the effect extended from mere soldiers to their ultimate leader. It was in his friend's nature to trust someone so easily like that, and let alone risking his life to protect.

There were underlying secrets shared between this Sakuma-san and his friend, something he wasn't informed of, and he was determined to find out what it is exactly.

While Yukito was lost in his own contemplation, Meiling was also facing inner struggles of the thought herself. She didn't know the reason behind Syaoran-sama's order of placing her into the guards. Perhaps it was a wrong judgement she made by revealing her martial arts abilities, but she couldn't help it.

Lady Sakuno was taken away by the enemies, how could she keep still, sit there and watch? It wasn't in her nature to do such a thing, not after her pledge of full loyalty to her ladyship.

While the other reason, and the important one too – the one that she had to hide away because it was so wrong and sinful to think of her ladyship that way – was that Meiling had fallen for the emerald-eyed young man at their tavern, and the fact that her ladyship was the man of her dreams probably was the biggest irony of her life.

A sadistic joke of life was it, and while life enjoyed its sick sense of humour, she loathed it whole-heartedly.

She then decided to lock away her feelings, as if they never existed in the first place, and followed Lady Sakuno to the battlefieled – where the line dividing life and death was so blurred to a point that she thought she could, might as well be, wandering on the verge of it right now.

Yet, a part of her was content about it, all she wanted to do was stay by Lady Sakuno's side, and to provide her with protection. It was all she wished for. Sometimes, even that could be a little too much to ask for.

Nothing in life ever go the way we want it to go, she was once again reminded of life's sadistic natures. On the contrary, it would probably take down an entirely different path that you, in your wildest dreams, would never think of.

Expect the unexpected, the words of Shang Guan Yun's never left her mind, despite how much Meiling hated to think of them. She had to admit, he was right. It was then she left the fringe of her vision shift slightly so she could see Lady Sakuno, and her eyes narrowed almost unnoticeably if one wasn't keen enough, as her eyes caught a fleeting glimpse at general Yukito.

After receiving the so-called Lord Syaoran's order, she later discovered that it was all General Yukito's idea. He didn't trust her, just like how he didn't trust Lady Sakuno, she could see it in his demeanour, and his hollow eyes. That was why he separated them, and Lord Syaoran was more than happy to grant the order, since it was one-stone for two birds for him anyway.

After all, by separating them, it would render the both of them powerless, and he would be the first one to be notified if they had tried to pull off anything under his nose. Brilliant, simply brilliant, Meiling snorted silently in her head.

To the others, it appeared that they were being granted with great honour, gaining such high positions on their first arrival date, while she knew, deep down inside that it was Lord Syaoran and General Yukito's way of keeping an eye on their, without making it so obvious.

She almost let out a bitter laughter when she remembered how naïve she was, thinking that Lord Syaoran would risk his life to rescue Lady Sakuno, and that perhaps Lady Sakuno was someone special to him. However, reality proved otherwise.

The blow came almost too harsh, it lifted her off her feet and crushed her into the dirt, as if trying to make her remember the pains it would bring upon her if her mind ever harbours unrealistically wishful thoughts again. Indeed, it left a great impact on her, taught her a lesson of the darkness lurking in the most secret corners of the human heart, and she shall remember this forever and ever.

"My Lord, what do the Minamotos want?" Sakura inquired, her voice was as soft as ever, but there was an evident difference in the pitches of her tone. It sounded deeper, yet retaining its original softness. Soothing was it, and gave a rather deceiving image of a kind, well-mannered gentleman.

Syaoran remained silent at first as his eyes scrutinized her face, as if searching for her intentions -- as if reading the secret thoughts her mind bore. Finding none of which he was looking for, he shifted his gaze almost carelessly down to the bamboo scroll in his hand and sneered.

"He wants what he cannot have, as he always did." The lone statement hung vaguely in the air, heavy of unspoken secrets and cruelty. The ones standing in the tent only listened attentively, and none wanted to be the first one to break the silence, for the fear of intruding upon a forbidden territory.

Sometimes, it was better to be silent, then to be eagerly expressive. Words would betray your thoughts, while silence will protect you.

"Now, return to your posts and remain as you are, while I'd like to acquire a private audience for the conversation that I shall have with Sakuma-san." Syaoran announced with finality, there was a gentleman-like smile on his face, intending to be soft and polite, but when she stared into his eyes, she found no sincerity of any sort.

The rest of the party nodded slightly with understanding, some with a faint amount of disappointment and while others were somewhat unsatisfied and jealous of Sakura of gaining Syaoran's trust while they were left in speculation of the contents presented in the letter from the Minamoto Clan.

Meiling was the only one biting her lips, gnawing at the corner of her mouth anxiously. But they had no choice but to obey the order.

Meiling gave one last lingering look at Sakura, and passed down the message of her sincerity wordlessly. Be careful, my lady. And Sakura simply smiled assuringly in return.

Her smile was unwavering, and gentle, despite the fact that Meiling knew at heart it was only a disguise Lady Sakuno worn, yet for some reason, it still managed to tug at her heart every time she saw it. Dipping her chin lower to hide away the secrets her eyes were desperately trying to reveal, Meiling bowed to Syaoran, and exited behind everyone else, with Yukito taking the lead.

The tent was now still and soundless once again, with the occasional painful moans from the dying soldiers that gradually grew fainter and more distant as time passes by so ruthlessly.

It was only a matter of time before they reach the end of the road, and Sakura could only watch death slowly creep upon them, and the shinigami's attempts to procure their souls. (Shinigami is the Japanese death god, equivalent to reapers in the English language)

They both remained silent, the game of mind and tactics never grows old, and they, conceivably, were the best players of this game. A soft, humourless chuckle disturbed tranquility, "it has always been a puzzle to me of how Minamoto no Yoshitsune (Eriol) want you as a part of his army, care to explain, Lady Sakuno?" He murmured her so-called name ever so lightly, yet it seemed to her as silk sliding over a sharp blade.

"There is nothing to explain, my lord, I know nothing of this Minamoto no Yoshitsune, and let alone be useful to him." Sakura replied nonchalantly, as if she was responding to a question such as 'how's the weather' or something along those lines.

Even if the enemy has seen through your disguise, you still have to remain calm and admit to nothing. Otherwise it would be victory to the enemy, of a battle that hasn't even begun yet.

Amber eyes glinted with a hint of danger, but only for a brief moment. "Saa, you don't know him, yet he is able to provide such a vivid description of your appearance and attitude. It makes me curious, very curious."

"Forgive me for speaking these conceived words, but with the looks I have obtained since birth, it is rather hard to miss for the eye." A degage grin crept upon Sakura's lips and the corners of her lips were lifted slightly, producing a smile that could shame the beauty of the sun.

Syaoran's vision was temporarily blurred by such invasive beauty, and he could almost see such beauty beguiling Minamoto no Yoshitsune. It was hard to stay collective and clear-minded around a woman like Sakura, and Syaoran mused, it probably was only a matter of time before he was bewitched by this woman who supposedly was his wife.

Witty, beautiful, fearless and talented in almost everything, was God being too unfair when he made men and women. She was flawless, or so he thought. Perfection, regardless of its nature, whether it is apparent or actual, was only a disguise. Once a hidden flaw is discovered, it shatters instantly upon the discovery.

"Minamoto no Yoshitsune is proposing a trade. It would bring temporary peace to both armies. The time produced this way is very beneficial to us, we have too many wounded and poisoned soldiers that need time to recover before they can go on the battlefield again. But if we do not agree to the conditions they proposed, we would have to meet tomorrow morning -- on the battlefield that is."

Sakura pursed her lips into a thin line and contemplated upon the pros and cons. Syaoran already hinted that Eriol wanted to claim her. He already tried that last time, by force, and this time, it was an agreement of temporary peace. Judging from the current situation, they were in a slightly disadvantaged position, almost half of the soldiers wounded and sick, they would be outnumbered.

And most of these men never had experience with fighting before, while the Minamoto men had been well-trained since the beginning of the rebellion. Eriol carefully planned out two attacks on them, using her as an excuse, but in actuality, he aimed to perish the newly formed Taira army from inside and out, so they would not be able to aide the main Taira army that was currently in war with the Minamoto rebels.

This was a stone for three birds plan, and perhaps even more. Eriol probably already discovered the fact that she was someone close to Syaoran, and the only way to destroy one's enemy is to start with the ones around him. Eriol was placing his money on the bet that Syaoran would not give Sakura out, after all, it was a direct blow to a man's pride by claiming his wife.

But then again, the supposed "Lady Sakuno" was in Heian-Kyo at the moment, disguised by Miyuki, so technically, it would not hurt Syaoran's pride. If Syaoran wanted to save his pride and claim that the real Lady Sakuno was in Heian-Kyo, and denying the fact that the woman being captured was actually his real wife.

Then, the world would think Eriol had captured a random woman to use her as a bluff. Her existence would be meaningless and futile. Everything she fought so hard to gain would be lost, vanished into thin air – wiped out of history, of the whole existence of human beings.

Sakura clenched her hands into tight fists, her nails digging into the flesh of her palms. The pain was a relief, it cleared up her thoughts and allowed her to see again. If she were to die, it would be with great honours, and she would make sure her name was written down on the pages of recorded history.

"I've come to offer my service to your lordship, and if it is beneficial to the Taira army, I do not mind making this sacrifice." Sakura offered. If her life were to end, it had least needed to end in her own hands.

She controlled her own life, and no one could take that away from her, not Syaoran, not Eriol, not even fate itself. She has defied fate up to this point, and she was not wiling to back down without a fight.

Amber eyes flashed wide open so ephemerally, in an instance too short to be recognized, the surprised look was gone as soon as they surfaced. "Offering your service?" Syaoran echoed, pausing.

"Do you understand what you're saying? Once you step out of this military camp and follow the Minamotos, there is no coming back. Even if you managed to come back alive, you would not be able to come back to the Taira family, nor your own family. You would be an outcast." He narrated, keeping his voice low and soft, but Sakura could hear the hints of anger in his words.

Stretching her smile into something almost wistful, something that Syaoran had never seen before or imaged ever seeing, Sakura gazed into his eyes, pools of emerald mixing with amber, locking their eyes together.

"I have nothing to lose. This is the path I've chosen for myself. Miyuki is the new Lady Sakuno now, she is loyal to me, you don't have to worry about her slipping out the word. And I am just Sakuma Ryuiichi, Taira no Syaoran's acquaintance. That is all."

She had thoroughly thought through her predicaments, of her fates if he agreed to Eriol's proposal.

He didn't know what he was feeling at this particular moment. Anger? Sadness? Indifference? No, none of that, it was something else that he couldn't quite identify.

In truth, he could have let the Minamotos capture her the first time they pulled a sneak attack on him and his army. But he chased after her, and experienced life and death with her. He didn't know what got into him at that time, perhaps it was his pride, so defiant and proud, refusing to let his enemies capture his people under his nose, or was it something else…

……

The next day, the Minamotos came, with Eriol taking the lead, and by his sides, stood a thousand armed riders. It was the first time Sakura had seen him since that fateful night of their departure under the serene moonlights. He looked much different now, handsome, proud and lofty.

Sitting on his ink-black horse, he had his chin tilted upward, as if looking down upon the Taira army in a ruling king. Sakura stood by Syaoran's side, and witnessed the spectacular form of neatly aligned riders circling the entire Taira camp. She inhaled deeply and grabbed his hand, he flinched at the touch but was soon froze in place as she passed a pendant to him.

Before he could question the reason behind her actions, she already stepped forward. Her white kimono's sleeves fluttering in the air as she gradually sundered towards the solemn riders, she looked like a white butterfly escaping into the air, while the entire Taira army watched her svelte frame moving forward elegantly yet fearlessly.

It looked like a watercolour painting, a shockingly beautiful young man in white and sleeves that flapped like wings. The sky was a sad shade of blue. By no wind were those closed driven, rustling through the unquiet heaven, and those trees stirred and palpitated like the chill seas.

Over the hills the lilies laid, so restlessly, weeping a nameless sorrow. They waved, back and forth, and at their fragrant tops, eternal dews came down in drops; they wept, and wept, and from their delicate stems, perennial tears descended in gems.

Eriol's eyes were fixed upon the approaching delicate figure, she was finally his. He went against the wishes of his brother to get her out of the Taira clan, it was the first time he disobeyed his brother, shocking masses of people. However, it was all for her, the woman of his dreams.

She had been on his mind since their departure and he vowed he would come back for her. To accomplish that, he sent two of his most trusted soldiers to keep an eye on her and had discovered a shocking truth that she was a member of the Taira household.

There were rumours that Taira no Syaoran's wife was a gravely-ill woman and that his father wanted an heir to be produced from him, thus, beautiful women were sent to the Taira household to seduce Syaoran.

He had speculated that she had to be one of them, and the one that captured Syaoran's attention with her beauty and wit, otherwise, Syaoran would never indulge her to wander the streets of Heian-kyo so freely.

When his men reported to him that they had spotted her trailing after the marching Taira army shocked him even more, it was then he made the firm decision of capturing her and at the same time perish the Taira army led by Syaoran as a way of making it up to his brother.

But he didn't expect Syaoran to risk his life for her. A brilliant idea then came to him, which led to the proposal brought to the Taira army, an exchange for temporary peace for both armies.

Once the defiant woman arrived at his feet, he widened his grin. His lieutenant colonel ordered her to bow to him, but she just sneered, "The Taira clan has kept their part of bargain and now it is your time to keep your words."

"Are you sure the Taira clan has signed the treaty?" The familiar voice hardly trembled, smooth, soft and low, it was different from the voice Sakura remembered, yet, it still managed to betray overtones of overbearing iciness.

Before Sakura could frown, Eriol flashed open the wooden scroll sent out yesterday by Syaoran. It was empty. It was empty…the words resonated loudly in her mind, producing endless echoes tauntingly. How could it be empty…

She whipped her head around to question Syaoran, but only saw his eyes narrowing with fury. Why? Why would he do that? Doesn't he know what this would bring upon the Taira army? "Prepare arrows." The command escaped Eriol's mouth so ruthlessly, intruding upon Sakura's perplexed mind.

"Stop!!" She yelled, her voice hovering over the clings of metals. This immediately captured Eriol's attention. She pulled out a rueful yet almost cruel smile, "before I left the Taira military camp, I have swallowed a poison given by lord Syaoran. The antidote is in the pendant he's holding right now. The poison will kill me in two hours, but if you keep your side of the bargain, I will come with you and Lord Syaoran will send out a soldier to bring the antidote."

Eriol tightened his grapple on the rein of his horse and glared hard at Sakura. She couldn't fool him with her little tactic. There was no way Syaoran would do such a thing to her. He was willing to wage a war over her, at the risk of being completely triumphed over.

She probably poisoned herself, so she could use the love he has for her against him. He should've seen his coming. She was nothing like the women he knew of, rather, she was everything they weren't, cruel, cold-blooded, yet smart and collective. As if nothing in the world could bring her down.

"Retreat!" Eriol shout out the order and whipped his horse hard, before lifting Sakura onto his horse and dashing away. With one last lingering look at Syaoran, she mouthed the words 'stay there, don't come after me' before mists of floating dust blinded her views of him.

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	6. Deep into the darkness, peering

**Through a looking glass  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

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**Chapter Six Deep into the darkness, peering**

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_In the midst of which all day  
__The red sun-light lazily lay._

Syaoran stood still, his hand holding tightly onto the pendant given by Sakura as he watched her being carried away on the now howling wind, and by his worst enemy. His eyes, tracing her silhouette with desire battling against regret showing in his eyes.

He wanted to call out her name, but felt his voice was faint as Sakura's shadow grew more faded. It was like trying to call someone in a snow storm, the other disappearing from his sight, the defiance and the dazzling smile diminishing into a wall of white fury, getting further and further away while his feet remained stuck in snow.

It was pointless to shout, so he could only whisper. "Sakura…" and in this mind, the snow kept on falling.

The murmur had been purposely soft and quiet, but Meiling, who was standing just a few meters away from Syaoran, had exceptionally sharp learing when the occasional need rose, and was stunned to hear him calling the foreign name "Sakura", rather than Sakuno.

Meiling didn't know if it was intentional, but if it was, there had to be a connection between these two names. Irritated, she could only ask Lady Sakuno about it after she saves her from the Minamotos.

It irked her to no end that the other pulled her to the side before the Taira clan comes face to face with the Minamoto Clan, and told her to stay with the army no matter what. It is an order. She recalled Sakura's words, and her smile, the enigmatic smile, so gentle and yet cutting at the same time.

She was so perplex upon hearing those words at the time, and now she knew why.

Rules are meant to be broken and orders are meant to be overruled, she comforted herself inwardly and found herself able to grin again. Yes, that's the plan. Besides, she didn't respond to the order with the usual "yes my lady", and even if she did, she could deny it.

But for now, she could only stand here and prepare a perfect plan for rescuing lady Sakuno. Temporary defeats mean nothing when one would ultimately triumphs over at the very end. She would be such a person; she's certain of that…

……

Looking a tad ruthfully at the fast shrinking view of the Taira military campus and the man who, in the end, ultimately chosen to wage a war against the more advantaged Minamoto Clan, than selling her to the enemy, Sakura felt a bundle of emotions surging into her heart, yet she couldn't quite identify what they were.

They felt too strange to her system. No one had ever done something like that for her before. At first, it was saving her life, he didn't have to, but he did, and she could only convince herself that he did it out of pride rather than sentiments. And now, he once again managed to surprise her. It was out of his nature to do such a thing.

If he was on his rightful mind, he would never chose war over a woman, yet he did, he did…the fact tugged at her heart restlessly. But why? The question echoed in her mind, desperately wanted to be answered. She thought of him, the man who could provide her with a satisfying answer, but he was no where to be found.

For the first time in a very long time, Sakura felt a little lost.

After they had left the Taira camp, Sakura was bundled into a carriage specially prepared for her, and sent off to some unknown destination by the enemies of her current state.

Watching the scenery fleeing past her window, she couldn't help wondering if she was being sent on an adventure she couldn't return from, although she would find a way back somehow, but she wasn't certain how long it would take to happen.

Either way, she had her survival talents, and no matter what lied ahead of her, she would retain her composure and find a way to survive this brutal world called reality.

As the trip continued, Sakura occasionally cast fleeting glimpses upon the navy-haired young leader of the powerful Minamoto army, and recollected the memories of their unexpected yet inevitable meeting. The first time they met, he shoved poison down her throat so she could aid him in his escape.

The second time they met, she pretended to be poisoned so she could protect the man she never thought would protect. Life was simply that strange sometimes. Fate wanted their lives entwined and all tangled up in a messy lock of threads, and maybe it was for a reason full beyond the mortal comprehension, but whatever it was for, she could only bare bitter resentment against it.

She had a faint suspicion of what was going to happen next, but nothing prepared her for the expensive looking compound the carriage drew beside. The building was somewhat small, but it retained the elegancy and delicacy of wealthy households during the Heian era.

The lights were on when she was directed to enter the compound, with Eriol no where to be found and only two dozen soldiers acting as guards. Strangely the place felt, with its soft, piped traditional Japanese music playing in the background by musicians of the household and maids standing in a perfectly formed line. A rather luxurious prison, if it could be considered as one.

"Sakuma-san." A soft voice by the door startled her, and she instantly swerved around to meet the eyes of the owner of those words. Those cerulean orbs were as breathtakingly beautiful as she remembered, along with his astonishingly handsome features, formed a countenance not so easily to be forgotten.

Yet he seemed different somehow. Perhaps it was the way he dressed, the casual clothing masked away some of his oppressive aura and added a bit of exquisiteness.

"Please make yourself comfortable. It will be your new home from now on. I've order this compound to be built just for you. It's a smaller rendition of the Heian-kyo compounds." A hiatus, as if waiting for a response from her, even though he was certain she would provide him with none.

"These are the maids I've prepared for you." He went on, directing her attention back to the bowing maids. He seemed a little excited, like a little boy showing off his toys to his friends.

"What is it that you want from me, Lord Eriol?" Sakura questioned, narrowing her eyes into an icy glare. She wasn't here for light-hearted conversation, or the soul-pleasing music.

Even if the compound was made up of gold, it was still a prison at heart. The extravagance, the overwhelming luxury, wasn't enough to cover up the ugly truth hidden beneath. If he thought, showering her with gifts and wealth would change her mind about him and make her work for him, then he was dead wrong.

A long, drawn out pause, whereby the smile on Eriol's face froze, like a picture in time, "what do I want?" Eriol echoed, looking at Sakura with something close to disbeliefs and self-mockery glimmering in those cerulean orbs of his.

The smile melted, flowed away. It was a slow and solemn movement, and he suddenly fell silent – seen to be convulsed, in the first moment with a strong shudder either of terror of distaste; but in the next, his brows reddened with rage.

"Reading people's mind at a glance, isn't that what you do best, Sakuma-san?" Eriol demanded hoarsely of the dauntless and sagacious woman who stood before him.

"Do you truly not know, or you're just playing dumb with me?" Those words, upon his utterance, rang throughout the entire compound, loudly and clearly, and the music had become hushed at the waving of his hand.

"If I could read your mind, my lord, I wouldn't even be here." Those words echoed in Eriol's mind like an endless chant, taunting him, mocking him, and the underlying tone of scorn from the woman he had learned to love and hate, was something he could either ignore or believe in.

Swerving around hastily, he strode towards the egress of the compound. Until she learned the Taira clan was no match for the Minamoto Clan, and that her so-called husband could not do anything to claim her back, she would know who she should turn to, he would lock her away in this compound. He had plenty of time on hand.

In the battle against time and between two minds, one that loses patience first is the first one to lose. And he was determined to be the winner.

"Aiko, keep a close eye on her and give her whatever she requires, but make sure she does not leave this compound." Eriol turned to the quite, expressionless girl next to him as they left the compound. Her hair was as dark as the midnight waterfall, and those ebony strands were tied neatly into a ponytail.

If one were to make an educated guess on her age, solely based on her appearance, one could be confident to say that she was no older than sixteen.

"Yes, my lord." She went down on one knee, kneeling to his gracious. The shadows cast upon her face by the late hours masked away the bitter resentment flashing in her ink-coloured eyes.

……

For the next three days, the compound obtained a pleasant tranqulity. The musicians were ordered to leave, since Sakura was never fond of noisiness. She preferred silence over music; books over watching traditional Japanese dances. And for three days straight, she kept her silence, not speaking a word since the last conversation she had with Eriol on that fateful day of her imprisonment.

He came by a few times to see her, but she treated him with open hostility. Eriol stormed away on the first day, but for the duration of the following two brief visits, he managed to keep his cool and collectiveness. Surprised by his demeanour, Sakura had to admit, for someone as proud and haughty as he was, and to indulge her almost childish actions and open scorns, was quite remarkable.

But it managed to irk someone else, and that person was none other than Aiko. She had been attending Eriol since she was ten. For six whole years, she remained to be the only girl he allowed to be in his presence. At first, it was just admiration and idolization, but then, it turned into something more – something she couldn't control, shouldn't feel, but she did; because she loved him.

Without him, she would've been dead long ago, beaten to death by her previous master – the one her poor parents sold her to, just for two rice balls. He brought hope and life back into her despairing world of blue and gray.

And now, she was forced to witness him being subjected to such malevolent treatments – it broke her heart to see that doleful look on his face when he turned away and wander into the darkness, thinking no one could see it.

Such a forlorn look did not belong to a valiant and sublime man like him. But somehow, it was expressed, and she thought even the brooding silvery moon could not compare to the overwhelming sadness she felt in his aura.

This was all because of that Sakuma-san, whom she learned was actually a woman after keeping such a close watch on her. If she was the person Lord Eriol's heart sought for, then Aiko would help him, even though it was a jab to her heart. Lord Eriol's happiness was her happiness.

She thought to herself, lowering her head as she clenched her fists. Something sparkling rolled down her cheeks from the corner of her eyes as she made a firm decision in her mind. It was probably the toughest decision to make in her entire life. It meant she would have to disobey Lord Eriol's order.

But it was for a good cause, she told her self.

It was for Lord Eriol…

……

A gentle knock was heard, snapping Sakura out of her tranquil world of books. She flickered up a glance at the source of the unexpected, and highly unwelcomed intrusion, her eyes softened slightly, letting down her guards a little.

It was that quite girl, in charge of bring her every meal. Out of all the servant girls provided to her, she liked her, the best. Perhaps it was due to the close resemblance she bore of Miyuki that let her lower her defensive walls.

Sakura watched the girl placing the tray with little plates and a small bowl of rice on the counter by the door in absolute silence, almost in amusement. There was never an exchange of words between them, not even of short greetings. Everything was so silent, the way Sakura enjoyed.

The girl had her eyes fixed upon the wooden floor, as if there was something highly attractive on it. Before exiting, she bowed politely as she always did, before closing the door of egress behind. Her dainty form then blended in with the invasive darkness, lurking out from every single corner as the night carried on, as if the world was wrapped in a velvet cloth.

Chuckling slightly to herself, humourlessly, Sakura ambled towards her dinner at her third night in this compound. She placed a small needle into the miso soup, the rice, and the delicate dishes – it was a habit she developed since her sixth birthday when she found out that others would put poison in her and her mother's meal, just so they could disappear out of their lives.

It was the first time she saw the darkness and the cruelty hidden in the human heart, which seemed all compassionate and kind on the outside. Seeing no color changes, Sakura wiped the needle clean and put it back into the small oaken box it came from, before tugging it back into the pocket hidden in her kimono sleeve.

But soon, she would realize that what she ate bore no poison that could kill, but it could do damages worse than killing. Aiko had put aphrodisiac potion into her food, and her needle would not be able to give out a positive test, because it was nothing poisonous, but it was more poisonous than anything in the world.

Sakura would lose her ability to retain that jarring composure of hers, no it was worse than that, Sakura would lose her dignity and the most precious thing for women in that era – her virginity.

……

It was midnight. The cold wintry wind pierced through Meiling's clothes and her skin, sending shivers straight down her spines and depths into her bones. Her face was covered by a piece of black cloth and so was her body.

She dressed herself into a black ninja suite, in hopes that it would blend her figure into the brooding darkness of the night. To make her invisible to the naked eyes and to boost up her confidence of saving Lady Sakuno, she had seen and heard stories of secretive assassins dressed this way, and it should definitely work. Or so she thought.

Meiling swiftly made her way from tent to tent, occasionally taking hideouts to conceal herself from the patrolling soldiers. It took her a while to get out of the heavily guarded Taira military camp, and when she thought she had succeeded to gone fully unnoticed, she felt a hand grappling her shoulder.

The warm emitted from that person's palm forced Meiling into realization that her plan had failed. Gulping, Meiling tried to move her petrified body, but before she could do so, a cold, familiar voice whispered into her ear. "I know you're planning to save her, but do you really think you can do that all by yourself."

Stunned on the spot, Meiling whipped her head around and only found her widened ruby eyes gazing into a pair of pensive amber ones. It was none other than Lord Syaoran.

He was dressed in black as well, hiding away his handsome features so he could move swiftly and unnoticeable in the shadows, as if he was born to be in its overwhelming darkness. "Are you going to stare at me all day long, or do you want to be hasty and save your mistress?" He jeered almost cruelly, curling his lips.

Meiling frowned and looked away, ignoring him and continued on with her previous plan -- save lady Sakuno.

……

By the time they arrived at the compound which kept Sakura imprisoned, it was already three in the morning (once again, I'm using the time that you guys are more familiar with rather than the olden Japanese way of keeping track of time).

The pale moon light that stretched their shadows, to prevent them from mixing with the blackness of the night, was the only witness to their conspiratorial actions. With a little disagreement of Sakura's whereabouts earlier on the night, Syaoran triumphed over with his suggestion and it turned out to be the right one, much to Meiling's dismay.

They made their way to the back door, where only two guards stood. Syaoran shot Meiling a glance to tell her to jump over the wall first, in case they were discovered, at least one of them could get it. Meiling past down a brief nod of acknowledgement before jumping over the wall expeditiously while retaining the silence of her movements.

Seeing the two guards remaining unresponsive to their intrusions, Syaoran followed Meiling and they both disappeared into the dominating calinosity. No wonder assassins preferred night over daylights. Meiling amused before she was dragged into the bushes by Syaoran.

Tumbling through the bushes and using them as camouflage, they slowly discovered the path that would lead them to the one that had been occupying their minds since her departure. It was hard for them to go out on their way entirely noticed, and they had no choice but to knock a few patrolling soldiers out to reach Sakura's room.

Nearing the ingress, Meiling suddenly grasped Syaoran's arm, her face bearing an unusual expression of sobriety. "Why did you let Lady Sakuno go with them, despite the fact the treaty was unsigned?" There, she managed to toss out the question that had been torturing her mind for the past three days.

She wanted an answer, or rather, she wanted to prove herself wrong. She wanted to know he truly cared for her, despite the answer might shatter her hopes forever.

"I wanted to a confirmation." He said, keeping his answer short and vague, with obduracy gracing over his face. Only he knew the meaning behind those words, and that was just enough.

He didn't need to explain himself to anyone else, and that even included Yukito. He remembered the other storming away after he had turned him down for an answer. It was the first time he had done so, and he didn't even know why.

Before Meiling could press on any further for a clearer answer, Syaoran dashed forward and hit the guard in charge of the security of Sakura's room, and knocked him out unconscious.

Following that, he hastily pushed the sliding doors open, but only to find Sakura curled up in a corner. Her fragile form was trembling uncontrollably, and her face bearing an unnatural shade of red.

She looked disastrous. Her usual collectiveness was gone, replaced by an effeminacy which he could never imagine himself from seeing.

Rushing forward, he kneeled down and wrapped a nearby blanket around her shivering body. "It's okay, we are here." He murmured softly into her ear, hoping it could bring some comfort to her.

But she made no replies. Realizing there wasn't much time to waste, Syaoran wrapped his arms around her body and picked her and directed Meiling a glance to follow him while keeping an eye on the patrolling soldiers. He didn't want to fight his way through this place, but if he had to, blood would be shed and wash over this ground with its scarlet stains.

Eventually, he would make the Minamotos pay for what they did to Sakura. Until then, they had to get out of here, and fast.

……

The smell of blood hung heavily in the air as Syaoran and Meiling killed their way out, with Meiling wounded, but they made no stops in between their trip. Riding hastily on their horses, the wind hollered in their ears but it did not slow them down.

They had to bring Sakura back to the Taira military camp as fast as they could, since it was only a matter of time before the few survivors of the massacre bring the news back to Eriol. Syaoran held Sakura tightly in his arms, her head resting on his chest.

He felt her burning up, and the unnatural red tinge on her cheeks darkened as time passed by but she remained silent. He could see the blood trickling out of the wounds on her lips, made by teeth as if she was trying to fight off something.

Tightening his embrace, he heard a moan, and suddenly realized what was happening to her. _That bastard. _He spat atrociously in his mind, if Eriol stood before him at this instance, he would have been ripped into pieces.

When they made their way back to the Taira military camp, no one seemed to be surprised by two black clothed and masked people fleeting through the guarded gates. Syaoran thought there would be some tiresome explanation to do when he got back, but there were none, and he silently thanked Yukito for it.

The other was probably had found out about his plan, yet didn't stop him from doing so. He didn't expect Yukito to be understanding of his situation, for heaven's sake, he didn't even understand it himself. But somehow, Yukito managed to read his mind and made his life slightly easier.

Syaoran forced Meiling to get her wound checked before carrying Sakura back to his own tent. He gently placed her down on his resting pad, his hand grasping his own blanket so he could cover her up and ask Yukito for advices on curing such potion. But before he could do that, Sakura seized his hand, cold of sweat and pulled him down toward her.

His mind went entirely blank the moment he felt her soft lips pressing against his, with such a heated passion, unmatched by anything else. His body screamed stop, but he couldn't. His instincts told him to fight it off, but he couldn't. He knew it was the potion's effects, and probably when the effects fade away, they would regret what they did. But for now, it was their moment.

Syaoran closed his eyes. For now, he just wanted to follow the guidance of his heart.

.

.

.

a/n: all epic tales have the war part, it's unavoidable. And trust me, if was hard on my end to write it out too. So, I apologize for the boringness and the lack of romance, but bear in mind that is only a small part of the big "epic" picture. The war strategy used in this chapter is from the history of the three kingdoms. I'm not intelligent enough to make up something as awesome as this.

……

**II.**** Trusting to the mild-eyed stars**

_Around these images, and cling  
__The notion of some infinitely gentle  
__Infinitely suffering thing_

The next morning when Sakura opened her eyes, Syaoran was already gone. Rubbing her tired eyes, she reflected on the events of last night. She had ingested the aphrodisiac potion, if they didn't come in time, things would probably be worse than she could ever imagine. At least she was his wife, and bearing him an heir was only a matter of time.

What happens now and later didn't make any difference. Pushing aside the blanket, she picked up the kimono and the other pieces of her cloth thrown onto the ground and wrapped them around her naked body. Upon getting off her feet, she saw a blazing contrast of scarlet red staining a snow white surface.

It was the blood shed by her, a sign of a maiden finally becoming a woman. She stared at it, the strong contrast of red against white was so brilliant that it blinded her eyes, it blinded her mind.

For the following month, they have purposely avoided each other. Sakura kept herself busy with healing the bruised, lightly-wounded soldiers who were being pushed very hard by Syaoran and Yukito to prepare them for the battles to come.

While Syaoran, spent most of his time with training the new Taira soldiers, baking in the sun, freezing in the water, jogging for miles, making weapons for the upcoming battles, and forming battling tactics so they would stand a chance against the vicious ruthless attacks of their enemy, the Minamotos.

There were a few instances where they do run into each other, where Syaoran would turn away and keep his eyes affixed on something else, and where Sakura would tilt her chin upward to gaze at the azure heavens above – all this formed their inevitable little meetings when they bump into each other unexpectedly. Then, they would never take that path again.

The two of them were getting along fine like this, but someone else could not stand it anymore, and that person was Meiling. On the night of Sakura's rescue, she was told to go back to her own tent to get her wound cleaned up.

Her mind was frantic and worried, deeply concernd about her ladyship's well-being, which resulted her carelessly treating her own wounds and rushing to Lord Syaoran's tent to visit Sakura. It was now a decision she greatly regret.

The sounds of shortened breathes, soft moans and the occasional gasps – all led her to one unavoidable conclusion of what the events occurring on the inside. Shades of scarlet red spread across her cheeks as she felt her face growing hotter and hotter by the passing second, with the increasing moans that led one's imagination run wild and wander into the forbidden territories.

Then, she ran, she ran with such haste, knocking a few things over here and there, and a few people over on their butts. But that didn't stop her, she wanted to run away from the disturbing images invading her mind.

It wasn't hard to guess what happened to Lady Sakuno. Meiling thought she acted quite unlike herself at the compound, with that unnaturally red smudge on her face and by the way she trembled in the darkness. At that time, she pushed aside the thought her instincts had offered her, hoping if she didn't think about it, it would not be true.

Denial, she was in denial, like she has always been. During her stay with Shang Guan Yun, she had witnessed his young concubines pouring some white powdery substances into his tea while he wasn't looking. Then, an hour after he had devoured it, his face would turn jarringly red, as if he had a high fever.

The young concubine would then lead him to her bedroom, closing the door people and wrinkling at the perplexed little Meiling. She was so little back then, the loud moans of pleasure ringing in the air, reverberating so disturbingly throughout the corridors – she didn't know what it meant back then. But when she got a little older, she understood.

The white powdery thing was used to create aphrodisiac potion, famous for its effects of bringing out the lustful sides of people and make them lose control over their body. Under its influence, they would do anything with anyone, in fact, just so they could get ride of the burning sensations in their bodies and the tingly feeling in their heart which would feel like a thousand ants crawling inside their veins.

Meiling abruptly shock her head, in a desperate attempt to remove those memories from her childhood from her mind. At least, she was thankful that Lady Sakuno wasn't with Eriol when the potion was taking its full effects, otherwise…god, she didn't even want to think of the scandals that would embrace their already chaotic lives.

……

Silent reigned over the air as the two blue-haired men sat elegantly across from each other, their legs folded in the traditional Japanese way. Mists from arising from the tea cups placed before them swirled upward into the air, as if blinding their views of each other. Eriol clenched his hands into tight fists as they rested upon his thighs.

He lowered his head, letting the twilight of the chamber to cast a shadowy shade over his prominently handsome features. His thoughts were concealed and his feelings were masked, rendering his expression unreadable to the other elder man.

"Brother, please let me lead the troops and meet the army led by Taira no Syaoran." A simple request was said in Eriol's usual emotionless tone, yet the other older Minamoto could tell the almost indistinctive nervousness presented Eriol's voice. With this request, thousands of life would be effected, and their destinies rewritten, by a man of power and brilliance and cruelty.

But it was a battle they have to fight someday, and Eriol believed it was better to be fought out now than later, because their enemy on the other side of the river was growing stronger by the passing seconds.

"The newly formed Taira army are short on ammunition and experience, it is best to crush them now than later, brother." Eriol argued, a hint of persistence flashing in his eyes.

"We cannot wait any longer, I do not need many men, five thousand would do." A hiatus; and Eriol could almost hear the time ticking in his mind, blended and synchronised so perfectly with the beats of his heart. A nod, a permission of some sort was all he looked for.

"Brother?" He echoed uncertainly and hopefully, eyes trained on the dark and silent figure across from him – the man who he fought so hard to catch up with since his childhood.

His brother, the most brilliance man he had ever known, was the head of the Minamoto Clan. Without his guidance and erudition, the Minamoto Clan would remain in pieces and would never have the chance to rise again and even pose threats to the existence of the most respected and powerful clan of the century – the Taira Clan.

"You may, Eriol." It was a deep and coarse voice, as if rumbling out of the core of the Earth. The words were pronounced in such a powerful and strong way that they reminded their listeners of the personality of their owner – stoic, astute, and insidious.

"But remember, never let feelings blind your views and your ability to judge with reason." He added, as if reading Eriol's mind like a open book, and Eriol was instantly appalled as if his darkest secrets had just been revealed to the world.

"Of course." Eriol answered with finality and firmness, as if trying to convince himself rather than his brother. He would prove to Syaoran of his worth and that he was indeed the better man.

A man's pride was on the bet, and he would not lose it, not to anyone, not even to fate itself. His brother had told him when he was little, the stories of the fallen emperors of China, of beauties that led people launching wars upon each other.

He never thought of himself doing such a thing someday. But life had proven him wrong, again. When one fell in love, it was hard to control what he felt.

If it must be decided upon the outcomes of the war, then let it be, because she was worth it.

……

"The Minamotos are preparing for battles." Yukito had his arms crossed in front of his chest; his words were as cold as his eyes, and his voice, stoic, low and cutting just like his presence.

"Our men are still not fully recovered from the previous attack and the poison. The Minamotos are most likely going to use this advantage." He analysed, eyes dark and penetrating.

"If nothing goes wrong, they would be launching an attack on us in a few days, and a week the latest." He shifted his gaze to Syaoran, scrutinising him as if searching for traces of emotions that would reveal his thoughts to him.

"But we are short on weapons, especially arrows. Most of our stored arrows have been used up in the last attack, and it takes at least a month or two to make ten thousand more for our men. Syaoran-niichan, what should we do?" Atsumori reported the statics of their current predicament, his eyebrows meeting each other in a deep frown at his temple.

Anxiety and trepidation were evident in his emotions, displayed by his countenance. Time was working against them, and so much was left undone. At this rate, they would lose, and it would bring disgrace to the Taira family. Atsumori nearly shuddered at the thought of his angry father.

All eyes were now focused on Syaoran, their general, for plans and a decision that would both save them from brutal casualties and from disgrace. Syaoran remained silent, his expression contemplative and engrossed.

His mind raced at the speed of light to run through all the possible ideas it could produce at that moment, but none could be offered as a comfort to lighten up their difficult situation. It was then Sakura entered the tent, a smile plastered across her face – the unwavering, polite, forged smile that stunned Syaoran's eyes as his vision aligned with hers.

"My lord, I think I have the solution to our problem." She said, the claim stirred the almost vanished hopes in everyone's heart and with a simple curl of the lips, a smile as blindingly bright as the sun enchanted its beholders.

Stagnation fell upon them, as they saw the springs of life awakened by such a smile. The dreariness brought out by winter and its dark shadows and the silent flight of the raven-winged hours.

"All I require is duration of three days, and ten thousand well-made arrows would be brought to your feet, my lord." Once the promise was made, gasps were heard across the tent and disbelieves were written on their faces as they gaped at Sakura as if she had just suggested something as holding the sun in her hands.

"How is that possible, Sakuma-san? Event the most skilful makers could not create ten thousand arrows in three days!" Atsumori was the first one to make an exclamation, which was then echoed by all.

"Ah, it's quite possible, Lord Atsumori." Sakura replied, with a confidence that surprised all and challenged by all. But she didn't seem to mind the opprobrious and supercilious glares cast at her way. She was a woman of her words, and she would never make promises she could not keep.

Those foolish men were always contemptuous, which created their ultimate weakness – their inability to think and see the heart of the problem clearly because they were so blended by their own bias – construing them as perpetually inferior to her.

"This is outrageous! What if you do not keep your words?" One of the high-ranking officers scoffed, and Sakura narrowed her eyes in a rare seriousness. Her lips pressed into each other, forming a thin line of solemnity.

The temperature in the tent seemed to have dropped a few degrees as Sakura's oppressive and almost sanguinary aura spread across it. The man that sneered at her a moment ago fell silent, along with the others, they were befuddled and perturbed by the fact that such fearful aura could be emitted by such a frail person.

"Then I shall be seized and hung at the light of dawn on the fourth day." Sakura acceded. Upon feeling the intensive glare directed at her way, she tilted her head slightly and gave Syaoran a small grin of assurance.

It was now up to him to grant her the chance of using her extensive knowledge of the art of military science, he could either make her, or destroy her, with just a few words of utterance. She felt herself holding her breath, and before her mind could process anymore thoughts, she found the answer she was looking for.

"Very well then, we shall give Sakuma-san a chance." Syaoran said with finality. He knew she was capable of many things, but those things didn't include miracles. Puzzled like everyone else standing in the tent, he waited for his wife to astonish the world with her intelligence.

"Thank you, my lord. But before commencing my task of accomplishing the impossible, please grant me fifteen vessels and thirty soldiers."

……

Sakura stood by the river bank, her eyes set on the afar. The wretchedness of the earth was multiform. Overreaching the wide horizon as the wriggling mists, its hues were of a mixture of different shades of gray, distinct yet intimately blended.

The vessels she acquired two days ago were now resting on the surface of the river, with scarecrows filling the shipboards, wearing the Taira military uniform. The outermost layer of the vessels were covered with a thick layer of straws, and in the cabin, a large war drum is placed in it.

Sakura assigned two soldiers for each vessel, one for controlling the direction of the vessel and the other is responsible for drumming the war drum. Usually, the war drums were used to excite the soldiers so they could be prepared for battle, but Sakura had other uses for her war drums.

Watching the soldiers adding finishing touches to the vessels, Sakura turned her head slightly to the right. She stole a glimpse from the fringe of her vision at the chestnut-haired young man standing by her side.

Almost amusingly, she drew out a lazy drawl, tempting the other.

"Would you like to be a witness to the miracle that is about to take place?" Her words were like a poison to the mind, once one was seduced by such low-sounded murmurs, there would be no turning back.

Syaoran could only stare at her in discombobulation as she took his hand and led him on board of one of the vessels. There were two tatami-sitting-pads placed in the center of the cabin, and everywhere else was surrounded by straws. The set up clearly puzzled Syaoran but he managed to hold back curiosity stirring in the back of his mind and took a seat on the pad as he was directed to.

He looked at Sakura, in a desperate attempt to seek the answers his mind gnawed for, but was greeted with an abstruse smile. The other was determined to make him wait so he could found the answers to his question on his own.

The vessels sailed in the mists of the night, with only the faint and serene moonlight as its sole guidance. They followed the current of the wind which was bringing them close to the heart of the enemy's territory. It was then, Sakura gave out the signal to drum the war drums as loudly as they could.

Catching the sign, rumbling sound of the drums shattered the peaceful tranquility of the night. The sound was so staggeringly loud that it shook the earth to its core. All fifteen vessels met up in a perfect alignment following Sakura's second signal.

The enemy was awaken from their deep slumber, and in a panic, the Minamoto soldiers followed Eriol's command to take their positions into defence mood, as they watched the vague shadows of fast advancing Taira vessels.

Frowning, Eriol tightened the grasp on his sword as he stood upon the tallest watching tower in the Minamoto military camp site. It was hard to make out how many vessels were there, and he could only do what his instincts told him to do.

"Fire the arrows!" He shouted out the command, and the archers aligning the frontal side of the camp raised their bows into the air at almost the same angle so their arrows could go into a perfect projectile path that would produce the longest horizontal distance.

With the sound of the last word still lingering in the heavy air, hundreds of arrows were directed towards the invasive vessels lurking in the mists, like a rain of dangerous arrows. The resonating sound of the arrows piercing through the invisible fabric of the air ringed loudly in the night sky.

Eriol watched shadowy vessels tilting back and forth upon the impact created by the strikes of hundreds of arrows. "Ready, and fire!" Repeating his precious command, the rain of arrows like flying daggers all fell towards the wandering vessels. It was hard to see through the creeping mists and Eriol could only direct the archers to shot towards the drumming sounds.

Inside one of the vessels, Sakura and Syaoran fought hard to remain still since the momentums generated by the arrows were enough to knock the vessels over, while Syaoran watched the entire process in amazement. He would never think of such brilliant plan and he was quite certain that none of his subordinates could come up with such magnificent plan.

Why make the arrows when you could just borrow them from the enemy?

Wasn't it listed in Sun Bing's Art of Military Science that if one wanted his army to triumph over his enemy, he should not always depend on making his supplies, but obtain them from the enemy somehow, because it would be burdening his own country's economy and resources to keep a constant supply of weapons for the troops at war?

Syaoran was suddenly hit with realization that when Sakura mentioned she was well-educated in areas of war-strategies, she was actually serious about it. But for a woman to become the best strategist his army has ever had would be the most shocking news of the year, and possibly of the many centuries to come.

Almost gawking at the woman sitting idly across from him, his mind pondered if she was going to surprise him with more of her talents.

Becoming aware of the inclination of the vessel, it would only be a matter of time before it tilted over entirely. Sakura then pulled out her third signal, which was for all the vessels to make a 180 degrees turn so the other side could be used to gather up the arrows.

A small grin of satisfaction played on Sakura's lips as she ambled over to one side of the vessel to observe the condition of the straws. The scarecrows were jabbed with arrows and so were the thick layer of straw that covered the outermost layer of the vessel.

Humming an artless tune, Sakura watched more waves of arrows directed at their way and puncture through the scarecrows as if they were the Taira soldiers.

Realizing the vessel was full of arrows, Sakura ordered the drummer to stop and pull the vessels away from the Minamoto camp site. She shot a glance at the outside, analysing the state of the mist and be cognizant of the fact that the mist were starting to clear up.

Their tactic would be revealed like an open book without the thick mists as their coverage. The Taira vessels slowly drifted into the depth of the mist and disappeared as soundlessly as they came, confusing the Minamotos.

Eriol glared hard at the retreating vessels while the cheering sounds of the Minamoto soldiers ringed in his ears. It might be a little too early for victory celebration, for he had a feeling, deep down in his heart that they may have lost the battle they just fought it. But it was just a gut feeling.

When they finally returned to the Taira camp site, Syaoran instructed the arrows to be removed from the boats while Atsumori and the other high-ranking officers gawked in disbelief.

Yukito leaned against the wooden support of the watching tower as he silently watched Sakura. He underestimated her greatly, even though he still could not make himself trust her, he had to admit that he was glad to have her by their side, for now at least. If she sided with the enemy, it would bring disasters to the Taira army.

And Yukito was quite certain of that.

……

For the next several days, Sakura was promoted to the position of the war-strategist and she fully took it to its full use. "We have less people, and going against each other face-to-face would be greatly disadvantageous to us." Sakura noted, frowning her pretty eyebrows in deep-contemplation as her eyes scanned across the map laid before her.

It was a geographical map of their current location, and a quite accurate one as well.

"What do you suggest we do, Sakuma-san?" Atsumori questioned with great impatience and curiosity, his eyes glistening with excitement.

After being astonished to his bones by the arrow-event, he had become an admirer of Sakura, and nearly warshipped everything she said and did. Before, he always admired Sakura of her appearance, which was based on human's instinctive attraction towards all the beautiful things in life. But now, he was fully convinced that she was as beautiful as she was intelligent.

"Five hundred riders will cross the river to meet the Minamotos in a close combat, and pretend to retreat in defeat. Then, the riders shall fled to the vale not too far behind from the Taira camp site, where most of our men are hidden." Sakura pushed a group of wooden men, representing the Taira soldiers, to encircle the vale.

"Then, one more troop will chase behind the Minamotos once they've entered the vale, such that it becomes a closed field where we are in the dark while the enemy is fully exposed in the light." Another group of wooden men were placed at the sole opening of the closed vale, forming a large trap to lure in the Minamotos and then perish them like attempting to squash a bug in a closed container.

"The first troop of riders will be led by Yukito, to forge an apparent defeat and retreat to the vale, while Atsumori take hideout in the bushes at the opening of the vale. Once the Minamoto enters, Atsumori will lead his men to close the path for the Minamotos and attacking them from the behind.

While I stay at the vale with the rest of our men." Syaoran followed Sakura's suggestion and divided up the tasks. Sakura may be the one coming up with the strategy, but he was the one to provide the army with his final nod of agreement.

After all, he was their general.

……

The next day, the Taira army and the Minamoto army finally met each other on a true battlefield. Sakura stood in the tent with Meiling by her side. Everything was carried out to plans and Sakura had to admire Yukito's ability to lead his soldiers.

His success was the most critical part of the plan, it was crucial to the entire plot. If the enemy detected something unnatural about his actions, the plan would fail. Sakura's nails dug into her flesh as she anxiously waited for reports back on Yukito's success so they could proceed to the next stage of the plan.

"Sakuma-san." Meiling whispered, she was told to address Sakura with her pseudo-name unless they were alone.

"Do you want to take a little rest, or at least eat and drink something." She suggested almost in a pleading tone. Sakura had been deprived of food and water since the preparation of the battle and its commencement until now, and Meiling was worried if she would shatter.

"I'll be fine." Sakura replied hastily, her eyes were trained upon the draperies that formed the entrance of the tent.

While her countenance remained calm and collective, deep down inside, she was in a frantic state as well. After all, she lacked the experience of a true strategist and everything she did up to this point was purely based on theory. Countless lives were lying in her hands, and the outcome of her plan would decide their fates.

"Emergent report!" A young soldier rushed into the tent, there were smudges of dirt and blood on his face, covering his features, making it hard to estimate his age.

But by the coarse sound of his voice, which was a prominent trait of the stage in a boy's life where he was transformed into a man, that he was no older than Atsumori.

"Speak, dear boy." Sakura urged, her body leaning slightly forward while her nails dug deeper into the flesh of her palms. She could feel the warm blood trickling out of the newly formed wounds, but it was the last thing on her mind at the moment.

"First stage, cleared." As the boy uttered those words, Sakura felt the heavy weight lifted off her shoulder so that she could finally breathe again.

"Very good, report back once the second stage is reached." Sakura instructed in an authoritarian manner and watched the boy dashing out of the tent with relief.

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to be continued...


	7. Trusting to the mildeyed stars

a/n: all epic tales have the war part, it's unavoidable. And trust me, if was hard on my end to write it out too. So, I apologize for the boringness and the lack of romance, but bear in mind that is only a small part of the big "epic" picture. The war strategy used in this chapter is from the history of the three kingdoms. I'm not intelligent enough to make up something as awesome as this.

**Through a looking glass  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

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**Chapter 7 ****Trusting to the mild-eyed stars**

_Around these images, and cling  
__The notion of some infinitely gentle  
__Infinitely suffering thing_

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The next morning when Sakura opened her eyes, Syaoran was already gone. Rubbing her tired eyes, she reflected on the events of last night. She had ingested the aphrodisiac potion, if they didn't come in time, things would probably be worse than she could ever imagine. At least she was his wife, and bearing him an heir was only a matter of time.

What happens now and later didn't make any difference. Pushing aside the blanket, she picked up the kimono and the other pieces of her cloth thrown onto the ground and wrapped them around her naked body. Upon getting off her feet, she saw a blazing contrast of scarlet red staining a snow white surface.

It was the blood shed by her, a sign of a maiden finally becoming a woman. She stared at it, the strong contrast of red against white was so brilliant that it blinded her eyes, it blinded her mind.

For the following month, they have purposely avoided each other. Sakura kept herself busy with healing the bruised, lightly-wounded soldiers who were being pushed very hard by Syaoran and Yukito to prepare them for the battles to come.

While Syaoran, spent most of his time with training the new Taira soldiers, baking in the sun, freezing in the water, jogging for miles, making weapons for the upcoming battles, and forming battling tactics so they would stand a chance against the vicious ruthless attacks of their enemy, the Minamotos.

There were a few instances where they do run into each other, where Syaoran would turn away and keep his eyes affixed on something else, and where Sakura would tilt her chin upward to gaze at the azure heavens above – all this formed their inevitable little meetings when they bump into each other unexpectedly. Then, they would never take that path again.

The two of them were getting along fine like this, but someone else could not stand it anymore, and that person was Meiling. On the night of Sakura's rescue, she was told to go back to her own tent to get her wound cleaned up.

Her mind was frantic and worried, deeply concernd about her ladyship's well-being, which resulted her carelessly treating her own wounds and rushing to Lord Syaoran's tent to visit Sakura. It was now a decision she greatly regret.

The sounds of shortened breathes, soft moans and the occasional gasps – all led her to one unavoidable conclusion of what the events occurring on the inside. Shades of scarlet red spread across her cheeks as she felt her face growing hotter and hotter by the passing second, with the increasing moans that led one's imagination run wild and wander into the forbidden territories.

Then, she ran, she ran with such haste, knocking a few things over here and there, and a few people over on their butts. But that didn't stop her, she wanted to run away from the disturbing images invading her mind.

It wasn't hard to guess what happened to Lady Sakuno. Meiling thought she acted quite unlike herself at the compound, with that unnaturally red smudge on her face and by the way she trembled in the darkness. At that time, she pushed aside the thought her instincts had offered her, hoping if she didn't think about it, it would not be true.

Denial, she was in denial, like she has always been. During her stay with Shang Guan Yun, she had witnessed his young concubines pouring some white powdery substances into his tea while he wasn't looking. Then, an hour after he had devoured it, his face would turn jarringly red, as if he had a high fever.

The young concubine would then lead him to her bedroom, closing the door people and wrinkling at the perplexed little Meiling. She was so little back then, the loud moans of pleasure ringing in the air, reverberating so disturbingly throughout the corridors – she didn't know what it meant back then. But when she got a little older, she understood.

The white powdery thing was used to create aphrodisiac potion, famous for its effects of bringing out the lustful sides of people and make them lose control over their body. Under its influence, they would do anything with anyone, in fact, just so they could get ride of the burning sensations in their bodies and the tingly feeling in their heart which would feel like a thousand ants crawling inside their veins.

Meiling abruptly shock her head, in a desperate attempt to remove those memories from her childhood from her mind. At least, she was thankful that Lady Sakuno wasn't with Eriol when the potion was taking its full effects, otherwise…god, she didn't even want to think of the scandals that would embrace their already chaotic lives.

……

Silent reigned over the air as the two blue-haired men sat elegantly across from each other, their legs folded in the traditional Japanese way. Mists from arising from the tea cups placed before them swirled upward into the air, as if blinding their views of each other. Eriol clenched his hands into tight fists as they rested upon his thighs.

He lowered his head, letting the twilight of the chamber to cast a shadowy shade over his prominently handsome features. His thoughts were concealed and his feelings were masked, rendering his expression unreadable to the other elder man.

"Brother, please let me lead the troops and meet the army led by Taira no Syaoran." A simple request was said in Eriol's usual emotionless tone, yet the other older Minamoto could tell the almost indistinctive nervousness presented Eriol's voice. With this request, thousands of life would be effected, and their destinies rewritten, by a man of power and brilliance and cruelty.

But it was a battle they have to fight someday, and Eriol believed it was better to be fought out now than later, because their enemy on the other side of the river was growing stronger by the passing seconds.

"The newly formed Taira army are short on ammunition and experience, it is best to crush them now than later, brother." Eriol argued, a hint of persistence flashing in his eyes.

"We cannot wait any longer, I do not need many men, five thousand would do." A hiatus; and Eriol could almost hear the time ticking in his mind, blended and synchronised so perfectly with the beats of his heart. A nod, a permission of some sort was all he looked for.

"Brother?" He echoed uncertainly and hopefully, eyes trained on the dark and silent figure across from him – the man who he fought so hard to catch up with since his childhood.

His brother, the most brilliance man he had ever known, was the head of the Minamoto Clan. Without his guidance and erudition, the Minamoto Clan would remain in pieces and would never have the chance to rise again and even pose threats to the existence of the most respected and powerful clan of the century – the Taira Clan.

"You may, Eriol." It was a deep and coarse voice, as if rumbling out of the core of the Earth. The words were pronounced in such a powerful and strong way that they reminded their listeners of the personality of their owner – stoic, astute, and insidious.

"But remember, never let feelings blind your views and your ability to judge with reason." He added, as if reading Eriol's mind like a open book, and Eriol was instantly appalled as if his darkest secrets had just been revealed to the world.

"Of course." Eriol answered with finality and firmness, as if trying to convince himself rather than his brother. He would prove to Syaoran of his worth and that he was indeed the better man.

A man's pride was on the bet, and he would not lose it, not to anyone, not even to fate itself. His brother had told him when he was little, the stories of the fallen emperors of China, of beauties that led people launching wars upon each other.

He never thought of himself doing such a thing someday. But life had proven him wrong, again. When one fell in love, it was hard to control what he felt.

If it must be decided upon the outcomes of the war, then let it be, because she was worth it.

……

"The Minamotos are preparing for battles." Yukito had his arms crossed in front of his chest; his words were as cold as his eyes, and his voice, stoic, low and cutting just like his presence.

"Our men are still not fully recovered from the previous attack and the poison. The Minamotos are most likely going to use this advantage." He analysed, eyes dark and penetrating.

"If nothing goes wrong, they would be launching an attack on us in a few days, and a week the latest." He shifted his gaze to Syaoran, scrutinising him as if searching for traces of emotions that would reveal his thoughts to him.

"But we are short on weapons, especially arrows. Most of our stored arrows have been used up in the last attack, and it takes at least a month or two to make ten thousand more for our men. Syaoran-niichan, what should we do?" Atsumori reported the statics of their current predicament, his eyebrows meeting each other in a deep frown at his temple.

Anxiety and trepidation were evident in his emotions, displayed by his countenance. Time was working against them, and so much was left undone. At this rate, they would lose, and it would bring disgrace to the Taira family. Atsumori nearly shuddered at the thought of his angry father.

All eyes were now focused on Syaoran, their general, for plans and a decision that would both save them from brutal casualties and from disgrace. Syaoran remained silent, his expression contemplative and engrossed.

His mind raced at the speed of light to run through all the possible ideas it could produce at that moment, but none could be offered as a comfort to lighten up their difficult situation. It was then Sakura entered the tent, a smile plastered across her face – the unwavering, polite, forged smile that stunned Syaoran's eyes as his vision aligned with hers.

"My lord, I think I have the solution to our problem." She said, the claim stirred the almost vanished hopes in everyone's heart and with a simple curl of the lips, a smile as blindingly bright as the sun enchanted its beholders.

Stagnation fell upon them, as they saw the springs of life awakened by such a smile. The dreariness brought out by winter and its dark shadows and the silent flight of the raven-winged hours.

"All I require is duration of three days, and ten thousand well-made arrows would be brought to your feet, my lord." Once the promise was made, gasps were heard across the tent and disbelieves were written on their faces as they gaped at Sakura as if she had just suggested something as holding the sun in her hands.

"How is that possible, Sakuma-san? Event the most skilful makers could not create ten thousand arrows in three days!" Atsumori was the first one to make an exclamation, which was then echoed by all.

"Ah, it's quite possible, Lord Atsumori." Sakura replied, with a confidence that surprised all and challenged by all. But she didn't seem to mind the opprobrious and supercilious glares cast at her way. She was a woman of her words, and she would never make promises she could not keep.

Those foolish men were always contemptuous, which created their ultimate weakness – their inability to think and see the heart of the problem clearly because they were so blended by their own bias – construing them as perpetually inferior to her.

"This is outrageous! What if you do not keep your words?" One of the high-ranking officers scoffed, and Sakura narrowed her eyes in a rare seriousness. Her lips pressed into each other, forming a thin line of solemnity.

The temperature in the tent seemed to have dropped a few degrees as Sakura's oppressive and almost sanguinary aura spread across it. The man that sneered at her a moment ago fell silent, along with the others, they were befuddled and perturbed by the fact that such fearful aura could be emitted by such a frail person.

"Then I shall be seized and hung at the light of dawn on the fourth day." Sakura acceded. Upon feeling the intensive glare directed at her way, she tilted her head slightly and gave Syaoran a small grin of assurance.

It was now up to him to grant her the chance of using her extensive knowledge of the art of military science, he could either make her, or destroy her, with just a few words of utterance. She felt herself holding her breath, and before her mind could process anymore thoughts, she found the answer she was looking for.

"Very well then, we shall give Sakuma-san a chance." Syaoran said with finality. He knew she was capable of many things, but those things didn't include miracles. Puzzled like everyone else standing in the tent, he waited for his wife to astonish the world with her intelligence.

"Thank you, my lord. But before commencing my task of accomplishing the impossible, please grant me fifteen vessels and thirty soldiers."

……

Sakura stood by the river bank, her eyes set on the afar. The wretchedness of the earth was multiform. Overreaching the wide horizon as the wriggling mists, its hues were of a mixture of different shades of gray, distinct yet intimately blended.

The vessels she acquired two days ago were now resting on the surface of the river, with scarecrows filling the shipboards, wearing the Taira military uniform. The outermost layer of the vessels were covered with a thick layer of straws, and in the cabin, a large war drum is placed in it.

Sakura assigned two soldiers for each vessel, one for controlling the direction of the vessel and the other is responsible for drumming the war drum. Usually, the war drums were used to excite the soldiers so they could be prepared for battle, but Sakura had other uses for her war drums.

Watching the soldiers adding finishing touches to the vessels, Sakura turned her head slightly to the right. She stole a glimpse from the fringe of her vision at the chestnut-haired young man standing by her side.

Almost amusingly, she drew out a lazy drawl, tempting the other.

"Would you like to be a witness to the miracle that is about to take place?" Her words were like a poison to the mind, once one was seduced by such low-sounded murmurs, there would be no turning back.

Syaoran could only stare at her in discombobulation as she took his hand and led him on board of one of the vessels. There were two tatami-sitting-pads placed in the center of the cabin, and everywhere else was surrounded by straws. The set up clearly puzzled Syaoran but he managed to hold back curiosity stirring in the back of his mind and took a seat on the pad as he was directed to.

He looked at Sakura, in a desperate attempt to seek the answers his mind gnawed for, but was greeted with an abstruse smile. The other was determined to make him wait so he could found the answers to his question on his own.

The vessels sailed in the mists of the night, with only the faint and serene moonlight as its sole guidance. They followed the current of the wind which was bringing them close to the heart of the enemy's territory. It was then, Sakura gave out the signal to drum the war drums as loudly as they could.

Catching the sign, rumbling sound of the drums shattered the peaceful tranquility of the night. The sound was so staggeringly loud that it shook the earth to its core. All fifteen vessels met up in a perfect alignment following Sakura's second signal.

The enemy was awaken from their deep slumber, and in a panic, the Minamoto soldiers followed Eriol's command to take their positions into defence mood, as they watched the vague shadows of fast advancing Taira vessels.

Frowning, Eriol tightened the grasp on his sword as he stood upon the tallest watching tower in the Minamoto military camp site. It was hard to make out how many vessels were there, and he could only do what his instincts told him to do.

"Fire the arrows!" He shouted out the command, and the archers aligning the frontal side of the camp raised their bows into the air at almost the same angle so their arrows could go into a perfect projectile path that would produce the longest horizontal distance.

With the sound of the last word still lingering in the heavy air, hundreds of arrows were directed towards the invasive vessels lurking in the mists, like a rain of dangerous arrows. The resonating sound of the arrows piercing through the invisible fabric of the air ringed loudly in the night sky.

Eriol watched shadowy vessels tilting back and forth upon the impact created by the strikes of hundreds of arrows. "Ready, and fire!" Repeating his precious command, the rain of arrows like flying daggers all fell towards the wandering vessels. It was hard to see through the creeping mists and Eriol could only direct the archers to shot towards the drumming sounds.

Inside one of the vessels, Sakura and Syaoran fought hard to remain still since the momentums generated by the arrows were enough to knock the vessels over, while Syaoran watched the entire process in amazement. He would never think of such brilliant plan and he was quite certain that none of his subordinates could come up with such magnificent plan.

Why make the arrows when you could just borrow them from the enemy?

Wasn't it listed in Sun Bing's Art of Military Science that if one wanted his army to triumph over his enemy, he should not always depend on making his supplies, but obtain them from the enemy somehow, because it would be burdening his own country's economy and resources to keep a constant supply of weapons for the troops at war?

Syaoran was suddenly hit with realization that when Sakura mentioned she was well-educated in areas of war-strategies, she was actually serious about it. But for a woman to become the best strategist his army has ever had would be the most shocking news of the year, and possibly of the many centuries to come.

Almost gawking at the woman sitting idly across from him, his mind pondered if she was going to surprise him with more of her talents.

Becoming aware of the inclination of the vessel, it would only be a matter of time before it tilted over entirely. Sakura then pulled out her third signal, which was for all the vessels to make a 180 degrees turn so the other side could be used to gather up the arrows.

A small grin of satisfaction played on Sakura's lips as she ambled over to one side of the vessel to observe the condition of the straws. The scarecrows were jabbed with arrows and so were the thick layer of straw that covered the outermost layer of the vessel.

Humming an artless tune, Sakura watched more waves of arrows directed at their way and puncture through the scarecrows as if they were the Taira soldiers.

Realizing the vessel was full of arrows, Sakura ordered the drummer to stop and pull the vessels away from the Minamoto camp site. She shot a glance at the outside, analysing the state of the mist and be cognizant of the fact that the mist were starting to clear up.

Their tactic would be revealed like an open book without the thick mists as their coverage. The Taira vessels slowly drifted into the depth of the mist and disappeared as soundlessly as they came, confusing the Minamotos.

Eriol glared hard at the retreating vessels while the cheering sounds of the Minamoto soldiers ringed in his ears. It might be a little too early for victory celebration, for he had a feeling, deep down in his heart that they may have lost the battle they just fought it. But it was just a gut feeling.

When they finally returned to the Taira camp site, Syaoran instructed the arrows to be removed from the boats while Atsumori and the other high-ranking officers gawked in disbelief.

Yukito leaned against the wooden support of the watching tower as he silently watched Sakura. He underestimated her greatly, even though he still could not make himself trust her, he had to admit that he was glad to have her by their side, for now at least. If she sided with the enemy, it would bring disasters to the Taira army.

And Yukito was quite certain of that.

……

For the next several days, Sakura was promoted to the position of the war-strategist and she fully took it to its full use. "We have less people, and going against each other face-to-face would be greatly disadvantageous to us." Sakura noted, frowning her pretty eyebrows in deep-contemplation as her eyes scanned across the map laid before her.

It was a geographical map of their current location, and a quite accurate one as well.

"What do you suggest we do, Sakuma-san?" Atsumori questioned with great impatience and curiosity, his eyes glistening with excitement.

After being astonished to his bones by the arrow-event, he had become an admirer of Sakura, and nearly warshipped everything she said and did. Before, he always admired Sakura of her appearance, which was based on human's instinctive attraction towards all the beautiful things in life. But now, he was fully convinced that she was as beautiful as she was intelligent.

"Five hundred riders will cross the river to meet the Minamotos in a close combat, and pretend to retreat in defeat. Then, the riders shall fled to the vale not too far behind from the Taira camp site, where most of our men are hidden." Sakura pushed a group of wooden men, representing the Taira soldiers, to encircle the vale.

"Then, one more troop will chase behind the Minamotos once they've entered the vale, such that it becomes a closed field where we are in the dark while the enemy is fully exposed in the light." Another group of wooden men were placed at the sole opening of the closed vale, forming a large trap to lure in the Minamotos and then perish them like attempting to squash a bug in a closed container.

"The first troop of riders will be led by Yukito, to forge an apparent defeat and retreat to the vale, while Atsumori take hideout in the bushes at the opening of the vale. Once the Minamoto enters, Atsumori will lead his men to close the path for the Minamotos and attacking them from the behind.

While I stay at the vale with the rest of our men." Syaoran followed Sakura's suggestion and divided up the tasks. Sakura may be the one coming up with the strategy, but he was the one to provide the army with his final nod of agreement.

After all, he was their general.

……

The next day, the Taira army and the Minamoto army finally met each other on a true battlefield. Sakura stood in the tent with Meiling by her side. Everything was carried out to plans and Sakura had to admire Yukito's ability to lead his soldiers.

His success was the most critical part of the plan, it was crucial to the entire plot. If the enemy detected something unnatural about his actions, the plan would fail. Sakura's nails dug into her flesh as she anxiously waited for reports back on Yukito's success so they could proceed to the next stage of the plan.

"Sakuma-san." Meiling whispered, she was told to address Sakura with her pseudo-name unless they were alone.

"Do you want to take a little rest, or at least eat and drink something." She suggested almost in a pleading tone. Sakura had been deprived of food and water since the preparation of the battle and its commencement until now, and Meiling was worried if she would shatter.

"I'll be fine." Sakura replied hastily, her eyes were trained upon the draperies that formed the entrance of the tent.

While her countenance remained calm and collective, deep down inside, she was in a frantic state as well. After all, she lacked the experience of a true strategist and everything she did up to this point was purely based on theory. Countless lives were lying in her hands, and the outcome of her plan would decide their fates.

"Emergent report!" A young soldier rushed into the tent, there were smudges of dirt and blood on his face, covering his features, making it hard to estimate his age.

But by the coarse sound of his voice, which was a prominent trait of the stage in a boy's life where he was transformed into a man, that he was no older than Atsumori.

"Speak, dear boy." Sakura urged, her body leaning slightly forward while her nails dug deeper into the flesh of her palms. She could feel the warm blood trickling out of the newly formed wounds, but it was the last thing on her mind at the moment.

"First stage, cleared." As the boy uttered those words, Sakura felt the heavy weight lifted off her shoulder so that she could finally breathe again.

"Very good, report back once the second stage is reached." Sakura instructed in an authoritarian manner and watched the boy dashing out of the tent with relief.

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Entirely unedited. Ignore all mistakes. 4600+ words, I deserve a nice review for the effort, DON'T I?

**I JUST WANNA SHOUT OUT A BIG THANKS TO ALL THOSE SILENT READERS THAT TOOK THE TIME TO DROP ME A LITTLE REVIEW. **So, keeping my promise of an update this Friday night (its technically Saturday right now), it's past 2:00 AM in the morning, but I forced myself to stay up and finish this chapter. Like I said before, it doesn't take that long to write a word or two to let the writer now that she is indeed very loved. Buwahaha. Cough. But yes, thank you all for the lovely review, and keep them coming! Don't be lazy! A word or two is totally fine!

Diaangelling, Violet Garnets, Sakiyo-chan, thank you guys for the long review you've submitted, I really appreciate the time you've put into writing such a review.

And thanks to all the silent readers that took the time to drop me a nice little review! I love you guys!

To one of my reader who's sick in the hospital right now, I will try to update as much as I can, hopefully they will keep you out of boredom in the hospital! I hope you'll feel better soon, best wishes~ hug hug.

so tired, need my sleep. Be nice and review~

**historical reference:** the strategies used in this chapter are both taken from the history of The Three Kingdoms. The first one, is taken from the battle between Cao Cao and Sun Quan, in 213 A.C., and the idea came from Sun Quan, despite popular beliefs of Zhu Ge Liang coming up with the idea and defeating Cao Cao, as described in the famous novel The Three Kingdoms, as well as the movie Red Cliff. The battle, in actual history, took place 5 years after the battle of Red Cliff. So, don't let yourselves fooled by movies and novels! They tend to mess up histories, like what I'm doing with the story of the Taira clan. Coughs.


	8. With death, there comes life

**Through a looking glass  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

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**Chapter Eight With death, there comes life**

Aimless smile that hovers in the air  
And vanishes along the levels of the roof

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Cries of thousands of men resonated in the air, reverberating over the vale and the hills and mountains laid beyond one's reach. The sounds of arrows and swords perforating flesh hidden behind the heavy armours were carried miles away by the careless wind.

The number of men remain standing became less and less, as their souls were embraced by death and the pale sunlight that shone so mercilessly upon them – it looked so derisive in all its blinding glories. Scarlet red liquid splashed onto the daisies that were white-feathered shield of god, and like darkened rose petals scattered across a field of dreams.

The Minamoto soldiers fell one by one like lifeless dolls and into the depth of the gray earth where death greeted them with open arms. The Taira army was finally triumphing, there were hope in the soldiers' eyes, and there were also primitive thirsts for violence and bloodshed. It was only a matter of time that the Minamoto army face its ultimate doom.

When the news and reports on the current Minamoto army's condition reached Eriol's ears, it was already too late. They lost, with disgrace and an alarming casualty.

A bundle of blood splattered across the floor of his tent as Eriol coughed violently. Gasps of anxiety and worries filled the silence that was heavy and unforgiving. Aiko whispered his name in a hushed tone as she patted his back gently, but he was too numbed to feel anything.

Every time he was in deep stress and shock, he would cough up blood – a habit he had carried with himself since childhood. Which was why he lived in his brother's shadows all those years, his brother thought he was protecting Eriol as any older brother would do, but he had missed the yearning in Eriol's eyes to prove him worth to the world.

He had been dwelling in the shadows for all too long, finally a chance came, but he was too blinded by his own sentiments and the chaos of his mind that deprived him of his usual calmness.

Just when he puffed out the breath that he had been holding subconsciously, another devastating report came through the heavy draperies of the tent which hung like the clocks of the death gods.

"General, the Taira spies have discovered the fact that Prince Mochihito is hidden in the Miidera temples. They are now making their way to the temples!" A loud thud was produced and the young soldier kneeling on the floor paused to stare at his general in perplexity.

Eriol had just dropped his sword, the one that hadn't left his side since he was twelve.

"Go on." The instruction was said in such an inexorable tone that it sent shivers down its listeners' spines.

The young soldier gulped in nervousness, swallowing hard as if there had been a stone stuck in his throat and blocking the air passage his life depended on. Trying the words on his now tangled up tongue again, he proceeded onward as he was commanded to. "General Yorimasa has gathered the rest of the men to protect Prince Mochihito to help him escape."

Eriol swerved around and strolled toward the map hanging on one side of his tent, his eyes scanning across the lands and halted into a stop at the name "Miidera temples". The Minamoto clan favoured Prince Mochihito more and wished to aid him in claiming the Imperial Throne in the near future.

The prince was their only ticket to reach the power given by the Imperial Throne, and without him, the Minamoto Clan would be powerless. They had to protect the Prince, no matter what.

"The prince's safety is our top priority. Keep his highness safe, at any cost!" Eriol gave out his final command sternly, with his back facing the young messenger soldier.

The shadows cast upon his frame gave him the look of a wanderer of the night, like a ranger from hell, he controlled their lives and their ultimate fate. The young man gave his general one last lingering look before pressing his lips firmly together and rushing out of the tent, for he may never return again.

……

Syaoran and the troops arrived at the temple were the Minamotos had hidden Prince Mochihito. The heavily armed riders and archers surrounded the temple at the wave of Syaoran's hand. In perfect alignment, they had encircled the temple entirely; no one could enter or leave as they awaited Syaoran's commands.

Those Taira soldiers, each of them were washed over with blood stains, it was hard to tell which stain came from their wounds and which ones were contributed by the enemies they had slaughtered along the way. Their clothes were dripping wet, for they had just crossed the river in a tight chase of the remaining Minamoto soldiers and their commander Yorimasa.

All the ones crossing their paths were killed, and the blood shed by their enemies died the river crimson red. But a few stilled remained still and were hidden either in the temple itself or around it.

"Burn it down!" Syaoran shouted, raising his hand into the air and signalled the commencement of the burning in a manner almost too ruthless. He looked almost godly at that moment, with the ethereal golden lights casted upon his figure – he was almost too bright for the eyes of his beholders to perceive.

The god of war he was, and his brilliance, outshining the Sun itself, made his men follow him through the traps of death and wade through the rivers of ever-flowing blood. As a response, the men acceded to the decision with undistinguishable cries, their voices hovering over the mustiness of the air. Even the invasively jabbing winds of the harsh winter could not overwhelm their spirits.

Woods and broken pieces of tree trunks were gathered and placed along the walls of the temple. A fire was then lit into the wintry air, burning so ever-brightly against the vast expanse of velvety blues. The fire enveloped the temple into a tight embrace, devouring it and perishing it in its fury, leaving nothing alive in its path.

Painful shrieks came from the heart of the fire, they begged for gods and the sky for mercy, but they forgot, the sky was as heartless as their enemy, and the gods would only watch them burn to ashes as relentlessly as they could. If one wanted to be saved, he had to save himself, because no one else in this world would do that for them.

Sadly, the dying men realized this fact only upon stealing a glimpse at death itself. It was already too late. Life was unfair and cruel in its own sadistic ways.

They should have known better…should have…

Watching the temple tumbling down as if it were the most fragile thing in the world, Atsumori curled his lips into a small smile of satisfaction. Father should be pleased with what they had done, or rather, what Syaoran-niichan had done. But it didn't matter, just the thought of being apart of this victory was enough for him.

At least he wouldn't be too much of a disappointment to his father this time. Suddenly, a foreign rustling sound came from the bushes that were very different from the pattering sound of the fire, and Atsumori's hearing was especially sharp when it needed to be. He quickly whipped his head around and squinted his eyes, there, he saw a piece of torn off cloth.

His heart almost stopped bounding upon the sight of such cloth. A Minamoto had been hiding in the bushes, and he probably, and most likely was accompanied by the prince. Without giving his actions a second thought, Atsumori jumped onto his horse and dashed towards the trail left behind by the prince and his protector, the two sole survivors of the burning.

The haunting howls of the violent wind made Syaoran's call almost too distant and indiscernible to the ear, and Atsumori didn't realize that it was the last time he would hear such a call.

……

It wasn't hard for Atsumori to catch up with the escaping Minamoto commander and Prince Mochihito, moving in four feet was always faster than two. Atsumori followed them through the brooding forests with leaves rustled in the most haunting way ever, and the air was thick and poisonous to the mind, whispering a nameless fear.

The caliginous setting of the entire scene was for the sole purpose of scaring off its intruders, but for a brave young warrior like Atsumori, nothing was able to hold him back. The chase was halted into a stop as they reached the end of the somber forest, where the land was divided by a river of gushing currents that was so powerful that nothing could stand still in its way.

Minamoto Yorimasa held up his sword while his other free arm covered the shivering prince. His eyes were deadly and fearless as they bore directly into the ones of Atsumori, and Atsumori admired his courage as a true warrior. Pulling out his own sword from its sheath, Atsumori jumped off his horse and slowly made his way toward the two.

An honourable samurai would never take advantage of the situation and fight with disgrace. When disputes needed to be settled, two brave warriors would meet each other in a one-on-one duel and battle it out, letting the strongest one standing. A small nod of gesture, Minamoto Yorimasa pushed Prince Mochihito aside and positioned his body into the attacking stance.

A loud clang was produced as the two blades clung onto each other, a battle of power was taking place and Atsumori felt his arm trembling upon the strong impact, but he forcefully took it in and slid his blade downward so he could break up the clingy position they found themselves in.

Once Atsumori's blade broke free from the restrain, he swung it toward the elder and much stronger Minamoto and aimed for his critical point in vain, but was blocked.

The duel continued and it was hard to tell which side was winning. There were sweat drops trickling down Atsumori's forehead as he gritted his teeth. The prolongation of the duel was working against his favour and Atsumori became more certain of his strength and weakness.

He had to end it soon, but how?

It was then he caught a glimpse of the prince at the fringe of his vision, and realized the prince was attempting to make a run for the forest beside them as the Minamoto commander kept him busy in the duel. Rage flashed in his amber eyes as he kicked Yorimasa hard in the stomach to break apart the close combat and made a run for the Prince.

Upon almost reaching the deeply scared prince, Atsumori fell to the ground as Yorisama pounced on him and grabbing his legs. Atsumori flung his sword at the obstacle at his feet and warm blood gushed as the tip of the blade left Yorimasa's flesh. A human arm came off, and a loud grunt and a horrid shriek broke the intense silence that reigned over them.

Seeing it as his chance to fleet, Atsumori turned around and stabbed this blade into the already petrified Prince's chest. The moment his sword punctured through the wide-eyed prince's heart, he felt a sharp stabbing pain from his own abdomen. Shifting his eyes downward while his body froze in that one single frame of moment, he saw a familiar blade pierced into him from the behind.

He fell, along with the Prince. The pain was so sharp that it numbed his senses, gasping for air, Atsumori pulled the blade out of his body with his last bit of strength, and he laid on his back, panting and feeling the life in him slipping away as the time ticked by.

The sky was a dark shade of blue, tinged slightly orange at its edges. It was almost dusk, Syaoran-niichan's favourite time of the day. He remembered questioning his big brother when he was little of why the older boy liked dusk better than dawn. Most people he knew preferred dawn because it represented a new beginning.

One those cheerful days, his brother would ruffle his chestnut hair and reply with an idly grin, "because dust offered a more realistic view of life. Dawn gave people too many falsified hopes, and tricked them into thinking that everything was within their reach and that holding the sun in their palms was possible."

Atsumori didn't understand those deep, philosophical words back then, but he still forced himself to memorize those words.

He was born as the youngest of the family. His birth was unexpected and greeted upon with a lack of excitement. He was just there. His father had his proud eyes set upon his eldest sons, and especially Syaoran-niichan.

Nobody paid attention to him and nobody played with him because they were all so busy with their own lives. They passed him by as if he was invisible and he almost thought he was invisible until the moment Syaoran-niichan bent down and ruffled his air with a warm smile tugging on his lips.

"Atsumori" Syaoran-niichan would pronounce his name with such a rare gentleness.

He would never forget those moments, never…

There were times when he turned out to be a great disappointment to their father, and merciless whipping would take place. Father would tie him up and whip him in the gardens for the entire Taira household to watch. The servants, the women of the house, his brothers – all stood their watching his punishment with nonchalance.

He was so young back then, but the Taira household had its unbreakable rules, and when one did occasionally break one, he or she would receive the most unforgettable punishment of his or her life. When he thought he could was drifting to the blurred line that divided life and death, Syaoran-niichan raced toward him and protected him with his own body.

Father's unrelenting whips would then hit Syaoran-niichan's back, leaving bloody trails behind, laying in its wake.

He asked, with tears forming in his eyes. Why, Syaoran-niichan? The older boy would ruffle his hair like he had done so many times before, an almost wistful smile on his face. "Because you're my little brother, Atsumori."

Puffing out a difficult gasp, Atsumori smiled in the memories of his childhood. Syaoran-niichan was always there for him, and now, it was his chance to do something for him. He had killed the Prince, the problem that had his older brother frowning late at night when he thought no one was looking. Finally, he did something for his brother…finally.

With the last thought trailing off his mind, Atsumori closed his eyes. The satisfied smile remained on his youthful and handsome face, forever unwavering and in the memory of the happier times where his brother would grin radiantly at him and ruffle his hair. The gentle wind that swirled by, caressing his features and his soft chestnut hair, in the same manner his older brother would touch him.

_Sayounara__, Syaoran-niichan. _

……

It was already late into the night when the exhausted troop returned to the Taira military camp. Instead of excitement and chatters of their victory over the Minamotos, a sorrowful solemnity graced their faces as they quietly marched into the camp. Sakura was perplexed by the demeanour of their return, but everything became crystal clear when her eyes spotted a familiar cadaverous face.

It didn't match the countenance imprinted in her memories. The younger Taira boy was always so agile, bright and overflowing with energy, where he would roam carelessly through life with no thought of the shadows in his path, or the silent flight of the raven-winged hours.

But it was him; the lifeless body resting on the stretcher was Atsumori.

"Burn the body." Syaoran murmured in exhaustion, without giving the young resting boy a second glance as he hurried into his tent.

The shadow of the night masked his visage so perfectly that no one could see the looks on his face, all except Sakura. She saw something shimmering in the corner of his eyes before strode away to a place where no one could see his anguish and sorrows.

The remaining soldiers stood in silence as they watched the brave young warrior's body lay so peacefully in the flames, until it turned into dusts. No one dared to remove or collect the bone ashes, they just stood there, so still and quite.

A violent gust of wind came by, picking up the small particles of ash and lifting them into the air where under the silvery moonlight, they sparkled like a million of crystals scattered across the dark velvety background of the night sky. Like the distant stars, Sakura added in her mind, yes, he was like the stars, forever bright in the night sky and protecting the ones he held dear to his heart.

Slipping away from the crowd, she let her figure blend into the overwhelming darkness of the night. Her feet took her to the tent of her husband. Pausing a little upon reaching the heavy draperies of his tent that shut him out from the rest of the known world, she took a deep breath and entered, as quietly and as gently as she could.

There, she saw him sitting in the center of the room, his composure calm and collective as it had always been. She saw his body tensing up slightly upon her entrance, revealing to her that he was aware of her intrusion. Sakura slid across the floor and took a seat next to him, but he remained unresponsive. His back was still facing her.

Sakura wasn't great with words of comfort, and he certainly didn't need any sympathy or pity at this moment, because she knew he was stubborn and strong. They shared a lot of common traits, possibly more than they could even identify. She came to inform him of a fact that she had just discovered a few hours ago, and nothing more.

"My lord, there is something that I think you should know." She licked her dried lower lip and began, trying the words on her tongue. He made no attempt to reply, but she knew he was listening. "I'm pregnant." Once the soft words escaped from her mouth, she saw his body tensing up, and then, he slowly turned around with widened amber eyes, full of bewilderment.

"With death, it brings life." She murmured soothingly.

The lone statement hung in the air, producing endless echoes in Syaoran's mind. He felt a bundle of emotions exploding in his chest. There were eye-stinging dusts in his eyes, making his eyes watery. As if the invisible heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Syaoran lowered his head.

Deploring, he let out the soft almost indiscernible cry, but that was all Sakura heard. The room was encompassed by a silence of understanding once again, but something was different and she was quite certain of that.

There were crystal clear droplets crashing into the dirty ground, leaving wet stains behind. Sakura knew what it was, but said nothing. He was trying to find a justification for himself to express the gnawing sorrows in his heart, and in her soft non-comforting words, he found tears.

A man should never cry, but when he so rarely did, it was because of a deep anguish that invaded his heart.

Syaoran's tears mourned the death of his most beloved brother, and at the same time, celebrated the formation of a new life.

……

Sakura was sent back to Heian-Kyo the following morning, much to everyone's surprise. Syaoran took the time to explain that Sakura was called back by the Taira clan to serve the Emperor rather than spending her time here with the army.

The higher-ranking officers congratulated her on her successes and being recognized by the Taira Clan, and wished her of a brighter future. Sakura simply smiled in reply, but behind those empty words of flattery, she knew that they were happy to get ride of her so she couldn't steal anymore of their glories. How typical, she thought.

Meiling was left behind to stay with the army, for a reason only Syaoran knew of, and Sakura didn't bother making any unnecessary inquires on the other's intention. If Syaoran wanted to tell her, he would tell her, and if he didn't, it would be pointless to question him.

She just nodded in acknowledgement and stepped into the sedan chair. The road ahead was vague and unclear, but it would lead her back to Heian-kyo, wherein she was born but she could never quite call it home. However, this time, it felt slightly different. Placing her marble hand onto her stomach in the most placid way, the corners of her mouth lifted just ever so slightly, forming a rare heartfelt smile on her visage.

Yes, it was different, she wasn't alone anymore.

……

Months had passed since the last time she saw him, and her stomach was growing bigger by the day. She was grateful of his thoughtfulness, because on the day of her return, she switched identity with Miyuki, who had been posing as her since her departure, and right after that, Miyuki showed her the letter from Syaoran which arrived earlier that day, informing the entire family of Sakura's pregnancy.

Syaoran tampered with the date of her pregnancy to the day before the Taira Army left Heian-kyo, and at the same time, he had bribed the doctor responsible for his health into confirming this falsified fact, while at the same time, providing a falsified testimony to the Taira family.

She was personally congratulated by Syaoran's mother, the lady of the house, on bearing Syaoran a child. She thanked her politely, but deep down inside she wanted to chuckle, if they knew how the pregnancy was induced, they would most likely be furious.

Sakura wandered down the meandering stone-laden road in Syaoran's garden, the special territory of the Taira compound that wasn't to be intruded upon easily, unless permission was given by its master. It was different being there in the midst of early autumn, the plum blossoms were no longer blooming beautifully and alluringly like they did in the winter, but still, she preferred the current picturesque scenery of the garden.

Breathing in the refreshing air unique in autumn only, Sakura opened up her arms a little and embraced it with her all. When she reopened her eyes, she saw her sister-in-law, standing a distance away from her. Sakura had grown used to her reticent present.

Tomoyo came and departed as a shadow, and Sakura was always fond of taciturn people. It made their presence more easily to indulge in. Sakura was never made aware of her entrance into this undisturbed part of the compound, save by the dear music of her low sweet voice, as she sang to herself, of the hopes she had in life and dreams that comforted her mind when the days were long and dark.

Even though they've encountered each other quite a few times in the past months, they never really ran into each other so openly like this, and Sakura took the time to scrutinize the woman presented before her eyes; she found herself stunned by such rare beauty.

In beauty of face no maiden ever equalled her. It was the radiance of an opium-dream – an airy and spirit-lighting vision more wildly divine than the fantasies which hovered vision about the slumbering souls of the daughters of Delos. Yet her features were not of that regular mould which she has been falsely taught to worship in the classical labours of the heathen.

"Lady Tomoyo." Sakura acknowledged the other's presence by dipping her chin downward in a polite nod. A serene smile that was so innocent and elegant – so untainted by the hideous ugliness of the world, and Sakura was finally able to understand why Syaoran had fallen for her.

Angelic she was, as if descended from the heavens above, her pureness was so rare and well-preserved, that even Sakura couldn't help but feel a little envious toward her.

"When is your due date?" Tomoyo asked; her voice low and soft and melodious, tugging at Sakura's heart so relentlessly. Her amethyst eyes gazing down at Sakura's plump stomach with such lovingness – it reminded Sakura of the feeling of spring where the heavy snow melts away and the flowers bloom in the glories of God.

"Soon, they say." Replied Sakura, lowering her eyes to focus on the center of Tomoyo's attention – where a life was slowly forming and taking its final shape.

"The one he truly loves is you." The abrupt statement pulled Sakura's attention back to its speaker. She easily masked away the surprise she found from the statement, and stared at Tomoyo.

It was a dangerous subject and a sensitive one as well, and being the clever woman she was, she decided to let silence be her response. If she didn't say anything, nothing incriminating could be used against her.

A soft chuckle escaped from Tomoyo's lips as her eyes twinkled ruefully.

"He only thinks me as an older sister that he never had. For a while, he was confused by his feelings, because I was the only woman in his life at the time. But he treats you differently." She carried on, a hint of nostalgia glimmering in her eyes as her vision was set on the afar, lost in recollections her childhood, where there was just her and Syaoran.

A part of her wished they would never grow up, but she knew, she had to let him go someday.

A pleasant tranquility filled in the empty spaces between them as they both fell silent, lost in their own thoughts. No further exchange of words was required, for they had already reached an understanding for each other.

Autumn was the month where the brilliance of summer drifted away to the distant horizon – where flowers wilt and leaves defoliate, some called it the season of death, where winter was the season of a deep refreshing slumber, while others believed autumn was the season of foison.

But in Sakura's mind, the Autumn was just a new beginning – it was the season of life and possibilities.

On that very night, a boy was born, and when Sakura held him carefully in her arms as if he was the most precious jewel in the entire world, she had found the miracle that she sought out for as long as she could remember.

Her miracle was right in her arms.

And she named him, Akira.

A light that shined into her world of blue and gray.

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Entirely unedited, it will go through intense editing once it is completed.

A/N: I'm not great with fighting scenes. Find it hard to describe them, so, please overlook them if you find them not graphical enough. I'm still new to the whole epic-story-thing.

**So, a big thanks to those that reviewed, don't worry, next chapter will be the last one, and you will be freed from my naggings on WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO REVIEW! Once again, a word or two is fine. I don't get paid for writing here, sooooo, make the poor writer happy by dropping a nice review.**

**SUPER IMPORTANT NOTICE: if you see the next chapter labelled as chapter 9 or 10, do not panic! I've decided to change the division of the story around so each chapter are roughly of the same length. It is probably obvious to you guys that my earlier chapters were quite short, scratch that, really short. Soooo I'm gonna be shifting the chapter contents around.**

Once again, I need to point out that the first tactic was used in a battle between Cao Cao and Sun Quan, where Sun Quan was the one that came up with, NOT ZHU GE LIANG. The popular belief is that Zhu Ge Liang came up with it at the famous battle of Red Cliff, IT IS FRIGGING WRONG!!! IT IS WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

In THE ACTUAL history, Sun Quan wanted to spy on Cao Cao's army himself, sailing these boats to Cao Cao's army camp site, but since Cao Cao has the tendency to be slightly paranoid (because he doesn't trust anyone but himself), he shot arrows at Sun Quan's boats, and Sun Quan was like "oh right, this can be my perfect chance to get arrows from Cao Cao, and I'll save spying on him for another time".

This is how the tactic used came out to be.

In the novel The Three Kingdoms, the writer exaggerated a lot of things and made Zhu Ge Liang the one solving all problems, which is clearly bullshit. The movie Red Cliff was even more of bullshits, it was just…can't describe how much I hate the film; it hurt my pride as a history-lover. Most people that were a fan of that historical period hated the film because it was just so off.

But the second tactic was actually made up by me, using two of the laws described in Thirty-Six Stratagems, called "in order to capture, one must let loose", along with another called "Entice the tiger to leave the mountain lair" in a combination, which is why my strategy looks so pale and stupid in comparison with Sun Quan's. But what the heck, I'm not that trained in this area, I've only read books on War strategies and tactics out of interest.


	9. Happiness, as ephemeral as it is eternal

**Through a looking glass  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

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**Chapter**** 9 Happiness is as ephemeral as it is eternal**

_Lakes that endlessly outspread  
__Their lone waters – lone and dead  
__Their still waters – still and chilly  
__With the sorrows of the lolling lilies_

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The years had gone by too quickly, where events in life happened in a blur of vision. Before she could take the time and sit down to have herself a little rest, five years had already passed by. She had been in the Taira household for seven years. The realization came as a shock to her. Being a mother had changed her in many forms, rounding up the sharp corners and melting down the cold exteriors.

Sakura wondered if one could still find traces of the old Kinomoto Sakura in her. The wars were still waging out at the frontlines that were not so distant from Heian-kyo. For five entire years did it last, they all expected a short-lived war with the Taira clan triumphing over the rebels, and their sons and husband would return safely and live happily ever after.

So wistful. Such reverie made Sakura scoff in distain, her cynicism was probably the only prominent trait of the old Sakura left in her. While disheartening news continuously invaded Heian-kyo, the Taira household still retained its composure and luxurious life, and Sakura wasn't sure if they did it out of collectiveness or out of the fear of their recent failures.

Fear and anxiety gloomed over the most opulent and prosperous city in Japan, where ruthless power struggles were taking place under the grandiose cover of the pompous city. Chao was slowly encompassing the city and it would only be a matter of time before they engulfed Heian-kyo entirely.

Despite the growing fears and despair in their hearts, Sakura had her hope, and it came from the innocent face of the child running into her arms.

"Okaa-sama!" The little boy exclaimed, burying his face into the smooth fabrics of his mother's kimono. His hair was like the finest golden threads, soft and silky. Sakura loved running her fingers through those silken locks.

There was a rare tenderness glinting in the depth of those emerald green orbs, so rare that if one was witnessing this particular moment, they would feel they were intruding upon an extremely private moment.

"Will father be coming back this year for new year?" Little Shigemori asked, but Sakura preferred to call him Akira.

Shigemori was the name given by the powerful man ruling the Taira Clan, to honour of the birth of this brilliant child. Sakura was never fond of the name, because of Kiyomori's wish of his grandson growing up to be just like him and Syaoran, as the name indicated. But light, was a much better name for her son, for he was truly the light in her life, and Akira, when written in kanji form, meant light.

"The war is ending soon, and he will be riding him in glory and victory to see you." Sakura bent down and wrapped her arms around the hopeful child, hiding away her eyes so he could see as she murmured the most deceitful words to the one she loved the most. She didn't want to use her pretences on him, so she masked away the secrets by turning away from him.

The news brought back from Meiling wasn't heartening, but rather, they were dreadful, beyond one's imagination. If the child was anyone else's, she wouldn't have given a second thought in answering with the entire truth. But Akira was her son, and she just wouldn't bring herself to perish the hopes kindled in his heart.

When she was younger, she disliked the fact that her mother tried to hide away the truths from her. She felt she was looked down upon, and distrusted from one person that should have loved her, the most. However, once she became a mother herself, she immediately understood the reason behind Nadeshiko's actions. To preserve a child's innocence and protect it, was her sole intention.

Suddenly, something, obviously was more interesting, captured the young one's eyes as he struggled to break free from his mother's warm embrace. Frowning faintly, Sakura loosened her embrace and she felt her son dashing toward the direction behind her. Sakura whipped her head around perplexed and inquisitive, and only to see Meiling dressed in Taira soldier uniform bowing to Akira.

With a faint smile tugging on her lips, Sakura lifted herself up with grace and sauntered towards the brave woman who had been with her through countless life and death situations. She had told Meiling to stay with the Taira army, and with Syaoran to report the latest news to her, and as well, become her personal messenger to be in charge of the smoothness of the correspondence between her and Syaoran for all those years.

"What news do you bring with you?" Sakura inquired; her posture as elegant and as graceful as ever, strong and sagacious she remained, but there were traces of anxiety forming in those boundless orbs of emerald, if one dared to scrutinize at them long enough. Her hand was placed on Akira's small shoulder.

The placement of her hand -- it wasn't clear as to whether she was attempting to comfort little Akira or leaning onto him for support. It had become a habit of Sakura's, developed just recently, as noticed by Meiling, but Meiling kept her silence regarding that matter, and shifted her gaze down to Akira.

The look itself carried more wistfulness than affections as they usually would have contained, and this mere fact made Sakura's heart skip a beat. Sakura averted her attention to Akira, for the briefest moment, and suggested with a heart-warming smile as she successfully concealed away the glooms shadowing her eyes.

"Go play with Miyuki, okaa-san has some unfinished business to attend, and you will listen to Miyuki and be a good boy." The young Akira nodded, even though he couldn't understand the urgency and seriousness of the matters to be discussed between his mother and the soldier who he grew affectionate towards, he knew that he was not apart of the adult world, and thus exclusion from the conversation to be commenced.

Picking up his wooden sword that laid abandoned under the cherry blossom tree, Akira ran into the compound cheerfully as if nothing in the world could take away his happiness.

Watching Akira's small figure disappearing into the darkness of the compound, Sakura then turned her undivided attention to Meiling, whose face was now comprised of an unfamiliar solemnity that she was unable to distinguish. It was all too foreign to her. It contained an implication of a deep sorrow that could shatter one's heart if she was ever unfortunate enough to stumble upon it.

"What is it?" Sakura urged, pressing hard on the matter in question with her eyes slightly narrowed. The suspense occupying the close space between them, thickened the air with its poisons of disconsolateness.

"Syaoran-sama…" Meiling began, faltering with uneasiness as if her tongue was tangled in her mouth, as if something invisible was restraining her from speaking the truths that Sakura so desperately needed to hear.

Trying out the words on her tongue again, Meiling tightened her fists and blurted it out hurriedly, nearly biting her own tongue. "Syaoran-sama is to be beheaded tomorrow morning! The Taira army has fallen, Lady Sakura!"

Vivid horror flashed in Sakura's eyes as she felt her legs losing their usual strengths, and the urge of fainting was so strong that she had to battle it off with her never-fading will in order to maintain her balance. Sakura had a feeling prior to Meiling's announcement, and she thought she had prepared herself for the worst, but never in her wildest dreams could she imagine Syaoran being beheaded.

Yes, the Taira clan might fall, and many would die, but she always thought Syaoran would live somehow. In the back of her mind, she always forgot the fact that he was human, like everyone else around her, and he would ultimately come to his end someday. She just didn't expect it to be this soon.

Feeling the blood freezing its way through her veins and arteries and right into her heart, it pierced her heart like the sharpest of all daggers. It wasn't the pain of losing a loved one -- rather, it was something so indefinite and peculiar that even that bright mind of Sakura's could not offer up an explanation of its existence and its meaning.

Her vision became slightly blurred, and those eye-stinging dusks that formed in the corner of her eyes were no tears wept by her broken heart – they were the tears she wanted to shed, but could not bring herself to shed – they were tears she wanted to shed in place of her son, for the young boy may gain the chance to meet his father.

Akira was born in the midst of the greatest chaos ever brought upon Heian-kyo, and his father, the hero of the people, their only source of hope, was absent in the entirety of his life. Little Akira had heard countless stories of his father's glories and talents, and his only wish was to have a chance to meet his father.

Sakura had told him it would be the end of the wars that his father would return. Patiently he waited, for five years straight, he remained patient, unlike the other children of his age who would probably be throwing a tantrum by now. But he didn't, because he remembered his mother's words, _great powers come with great responsibility, you are the son of the greatest hero of this century, thus you might be strong and different from the other children. _

His father, the mysterious figure that had been occupying his dreams for all those years – the dreams that brought a smile upon his face were now to be shattered into pieces. Sakura could not bring herself to do such things, she just couldn't.

"Pack some food and the things we will use in the trip, we are going to Nara." Sakura drew out her final decision firmly, but Meiling could only stare at her in disbelief.

"We…we are going to Nara? At this moment?" Meiling asked, her voice unsteady and surprised. She even blinked a few times as if substantiating to herself that she really wasn't imaging things.

"Yes, we are going to Nara, and bring Akira. I will ask permission from the lady of the house to take Akira out and pray in the temples for Syaoran-sama's safe return." Sakura instructed, waving a hand at Meiling to snap her back to reality.

It was the perfect excuse to use, after all, the Ladies were not allowed to leave the compound unless it was to accompany their husband or visiting their own family on rare occasions.

However Sakura could not possibly use that as an excuse, since she was never close with her family and her father will definitely report back to the Taira household that Sakura was never there but used them as an excuse to go somewhere else.

The news of the war were extremely disheartening, and it was only normal for her to go away and pray for her husband along with the son that Syaoran never had the chance to meet.

"Yes, milady." Meiling nodded firmly in return and headed toward the part of the compound that little Akira resided.

……

Later that night, when their trip halted into a stop near the Nara temple, Sakura and Akira stayed there while Meiling went to deliver a letter from Sakura to the Minamoto army camp located right next to the temples. The silvery moon light accompanied Sakura and Akira as they waited patiently for Meiling's return.

The pale lights, so faint and serene, yet when cast upon the forest beside them, it produced a hauntingly eerie setting, that with its lurid aura alone was enough to scare off the prying people. Akira clutched his wooden sword tightly in his hands and wrapped his small arm around his mother, as if he was a knight protecting a princess.

There were fears evident in his bright, translucent orbs that remembered Sakura of molten amber, but the boy retained a straight and solemn face. Sakura nearly chuckled at the hilarity of such strange combination, a child trying to act all grown up and protective.

A wisp of air ran its invisible fingers across Sakura's cheeks, carrying with it traces of cold bitterness, which caused Sakura to hold Akira closer to herself. It was a risky step she took, gambling with the small facts that she knew of Eriol. If his feelings for her were true, he would do her this favour.

This wasn't the first time Sakura had used his love for her, but it was different this time, no strings attached and no hidden tactics of any sort. She just wanted her son to have a chance to meet his father, perhaps for the very last time.

……

Meiling returned with Eriol's order which permitted their entrance into the dungeons hidden beneath the temple, where Syaoran was detained. Sakura let out the breath that she had been holding on since Meiling's short-departure, and took Akira's small hand into hers as they strolled toward the temple brooding with melancholy.

They were stopped at the gates by Minamoto guards and the monks that sided with the Minamotos, Sakura flashed open the stroll which contained Eriol's written permission, and they were allowed entrance into the darkened temples at once. A monk was assigned to guide them to the dungeons, and the trio trailing behind, the unpleasant trip was spent in an utterly dreadful silence.

They walked down the interior of an immensely long and rectangular vault or tunnel, with low walls, smooth, dirt-covered, and without interruption or device. The mustiness of the air served well as an indication to convey the idea that this excavation lay at an exceeding depth below the surface of the earth.

No outlet was observed in any portion of its vast extent, and no lanterns, or other artificial source of light was discernible; yet a flood of pale rays rolled throughout, and bathed the whole in a ghastly and inappropriate splendour.

Finally, they stopped at a well fortified room. The monk eyed them cautiously before pulling out a chain of keys from his wrinkled sleeves and unlocked the door in a swift movement, which revealed conflicting traits from the impression given by his weak and aged outer appearance.

"You have half an hour exactly. No more than that. If you don't leave once that time is up, I will lock all of you up." He grumbled bitterly as he held out a hand to gesture Sakura and Akira to go in. But when Meiling tried to get in as well, he shot a hard glance at her and shut the door tightly.

A loud thud was heard, and before Meiling could blink, the door was once again locked up. The monk pressed his back against the metallic door and leaned against it while he kept a watchful eye on Meiling, as if she was poisonous or a monster of some sort, and this mere fact made Meiling twitch.

Inside the chamber of caliginosity, with only a flicker of candle light illuminating the entirety of the room, Sakura's heart pounded rapidly and viciously against her ribcage as the idolized hero of Heian-kyo came into her views. He was still has handsome as ever, but she could see the faint traces of the evidence of time left upon his forehead.

Five years had she not seen him, his eyes were still the color of amber, golden at its depth, the passions remained still, but she could see the lassitude reflected in them. The years left marks on him, perhaps not physically, but emotionally, he was weary of the wars and the endless mind games played between the two opposing armies.

He was not able to be there for the birth of his son, nor was he ever there to watch the little one grow into the young boy he was now. For the first time ever, he felt a great loss in his life. Ambitions, glory, victories meant nothing when he saw the wondrous little boy, whose countenance very much reflected his own, as if he was staring at a mirror image of himself.

"This must be…Shigamori?" Syaoran asked quietly, lifting his eyes inquisitively to seek Sakura's confirmation.

With a small nod, Sakura replied. "Akira, it's his childhood name." She patted her tapered fingers through Akira's chestnut brown hair in a loving manner that Syaoran could never imagine himself seeing.

But then again, five years was enough to change everything in the world, and at the same time, nothing at all.

"I see." Syaoran gazed down at the little boy, who stared back at him in equal intensity.

"Akira, eh?" He echoed again, almost amusingly. "It's a good name, he is indeed the light of hope."

"Do you know who I am?" Syaoran bent down until his vision was in perfect horizontal alignment with Akira's bright eyes. Akira stole a quick glance at his mother, before turning back to Syaoran, as if he was looking for a confirmation that never came but was more manifest than it ever was.

"You're otou-sama!" Akira exclaimed, there were excitements glinting in his eyes and Syaoran found himself dazzled by such brilliancy, it was like looking into the expanse of the universe with its eye-blinding stars glimmering so brightly and fiercely.

Without any further exchange of words, Syaoran threw his arms around the young boy and held him tightly against his chest, his eyes were shadowed by the invasive darkness of the room, but they were undoubtedly filled with a heart-warming fatherly love, unmatched by any other.

That love, so strong and impetous – like the rays of the sun, they were blinding and burning – was saved for none other than this little boy; his son.

"Otou-sama!" Akira cried out again, repetitively until his voice was coarse and broken and mixed with his sobs, but he continued his calling, as if he was trying to make up for the lost years where he could make such a call in his dreams. The joy and sorrow that bottled up in his little heart was released at once.

The word, Otou-sama, echoed endlessly in the small chamber, even though it came out of a small boy, it felt like it could shatter the entire room and it shattered the hearts of his parents. While other aristocratic children had both of their parents, Akira could only imagine his standing by his side.

Surely mother had given him all the love a child could ever ask for, but something was missing in his heart. Akira was always a bit more mature than the other children, and never complained about the fact that his father was never a part of his life.

_A hero must always place his country before his own family_, he was once told by grandpa Kiyomori, the cold and stoic man who brought the Taira clan to its highest glories and its ultimate fall, _and your father is a hero, Shigamori. _His grandfather stated, with an expression that Akira could not read, but he remembered those words. His father was a hero, the god of war, and the one that kept the war fronts far away from their home, at the cost of leaving his family behind unattended. Now, Akira was finally in his father's arms, the unique scent of his father lingered in the air and Akira buried his face into the wrinkled robe. He allowed himself to cry, for the first time since he turned three, and possibly the last time.

Syaoran embraced Akira as if he was the most valuable treasure the world could offer, until he felt the little boy drifting into a deep slumber. It had been a long tiring day, both physically and emotionally, and Syaoran was surprised that a four year-old boy could even endure all that in a day.

There were tear stains on that innocent face, but a small smile of satisfaction tugged on the boy's lips as he snuggled closer to the warmth emitted by his father. Syaoran ran his fingers down the delicate features that bore much resemblance to him, and used the tip of his finger to trace out the contours of his son's countenance, as if he was trying to remember the boy forever.

"Taira clan has lost," Syaoran suddenly started, without looking up at Sakura.

"It's only a matter of time before Heian-kyo is under Minamoto's supervision. Yukito died with honour in the last battle with the Minamotos, along with all the Taira soldiers." He narrated the events in a calm and steady tone, as if he was never a part of it.

"When the Minamoto clan take over Heian-kyo, the first family to be hanged would be the Taira clan. They would spare none that opposed them, I'm sure you're quite aware of that."

"What about you?" Sakura whispered, though she already knew his decision before she even arrived at Nara, which was why she brought Akira along with her. But still, a part of her was still hopeful that things might turn out differently.

"I must carry out the family honour. A true samurai would rather die than surrendering to the enemy." Syaoran smiled faintly at her, and she felt her blood run cold. It was expected, and she thought she was fully prepared for it until she heard the words from him. Death. He would die, and must die, it was his destiny, because he was Taira no Syaoran.

"I know." Sakura swallowed hard, and shifted her eyes away from him so she could recollect her calm composure again.

"You should leave, and Eriol can help you with that." Syaoran suggested, his voice trembled slightly with feelings that he was never able to show before.

"You're not Sakuno, this fate was never meant for you." As soon as the statement escaped from his lips, Sakura widened her eyes in shock. How could he possibly know her true identity? Her nails dug into the flesh of her palm as her hands trembled, revealing much of the state of franticness her body was in.

Quavering, she glared at him as calmly as she could, but too much of her emotions had been betrayed by her body language and her eyes. "When did you find out about it?"

"After you've gained a position as a military doctor." Syaoran answered quietly.

"Yukito informed me about it. At first I didn't believe in him, but he brought me over to the dead body his men had discovered in the river, and the drowned woman bore much resemblance to you. Yukito found a jade necklace hidden beneath the layers of kimono collar, and it had Kinomoto Sakuno carved on it. Most wealthy families keep something like this to identify themselves, and the Kinomoto family was one of them."

Sakura laughed almost humourlessly, before gazing into his eyes with solemnity. "I thought I had to carry the secret to my grave." She quipped. "If you knew, why didn't you report me?"

"Because your name holds no importance, I know who you are, and that's all." Syaoran replied, amber and emerald were locked in a familiar intensive gaze – the gaze that brought them together.

He remembered the warm smile that welcomed him into the search of Eriol, and the light-hearted laughter and words of faint amusement "it's a small world, isn't it?" But rather than the entirely foreign looks on their faces, they were able to reach a silent understanding of each other.

Though everything was the same as before, some things had changed, and permanently.

The supposed twenty minutes turned into hours, and the old monk never intruded upon the serene atmosphere inside the small chamber. It wasn't because he was a kind man at heart, but rather, Eriol came and ordered the monk to return to his previous task while he waited by the door with Meiling.

The cross-dressed young woman scrutinized him with her scarlet eyes that reminded him of the finest rubies in the world. As time elapsed, when Eriol thought she would stay silent for the entire night, she surprised him with her question, as in the most phlegmatic yet perplexed tone.

"Why are you helping out your enemies?"

"I am simply returning a favour." He replied as memories of their first encounter flooded his mind. If only time could freeze in that single frame of moment, perhaps happiness would finally last forever.

……

The next day, Syaoran was beheaded.

Sakura, Akira and Meiling returned to the Taira household as hastily as they could, a part of Sakura believed that if she didn't witness his death, that fact would not be registered in her mind. Though childish as it was, and the old Kinomoto Sakura would probably deride at such thoughts.

But things were different now, she told herself. Akira was too distracted by the memories of last night – the memories of his father – to notice the troubled look on Sakura's face during their trip back to the Taira household, but Meiling was able to catch it.

By the time they returned to Heian-kyo, it was already dusk, and only to find the Taira household covered with an oppressive solemnity as they mourned the death of Syaoran. Black was the dominating color, and against the darkened gloomy sky, they blended so perfectly together.

It appeared that the news had arrived before they did. The entirely family was in the state of mourning, for the death of the most brilliant man in the Taira family, and the fall of a great hero. Akira was slightly perplexed, but the setting wasn't something he hadn't seen before.

With the wars and the chaos, the scent of death was rather familiar to Heian-kyo. But he wasn't sure whom was the sky mourning for, and his mother didn't seem to be in the mood to explain it all to him.

Once they made it to their part of the compound, Sakura was greeted with a solemn Miyuki who was wearing the black funeral kimono that belonged to Sakura.

"Take Akira to the garden." Sakura instructed, and Meiling nodded in reply, understanding Sakura's desire of protecting the last bit of innocence and purity in this tainted world.

"Miyuki," Sakura began, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, revealing her puzzlement at the other's sudden appearance in her kimono. Disguise wasn't needed this time because she was given the permission to leave the household, and Miyuki rarely did anything without her instructions.

A strange feeling lingered in her heart but she just couldn't identify it.

"Miss Sakura," Miyuki murmured, dipping her chin slightly as a gesture of politeness. It was something she hadn't done for almost six years. Before Sakura could deepen the frown and correct her, Miyuki grabbed her hands in a movement all too abrupt and surprising for Sakura to react.

"Syaoran-sama passed away, Heian-kyo is going to be occupied, the Taira clan has fallen!" The words spewed out of her mouth in a moment of overwhelming anxiety.

"Miss Sakura, I've never seen you smile like you did when Akira-sama was born. He was the miracle that you've been waiting for all those years." The sudden turn of conversation puzzled Sakura even further, and the eerie feeling in her heart grew stronger.

But before she could question Miyuki's strange behaviour, she was again cut off by the other. "Take Akira-sama away and live for yourself once, away from the chaos, the power struggle, and the ambitions that overwhelmed your heart…"

There were tears streaming down Miyuki's face as she murmured with her trembling lips. Suddenly, Sakura was pushed backwards, with a force so strong that she couldn't believe it came from the frail body of Miyuki.

Her back crushed against the hard stone-laden ground as she gawked at Miyuki in disbelief, and there, she saw something shimmering on the wooden floor of their compound.

"This is the only way you can be Miss Sakura again…" Miyuki cried with a rueful smile on her lips, and suddenly, she smashed the lantern placed on the nearby desk onto the floor. Immediately, the fire spread through the rooms like a furious snake, and before Sakura could get up on her feet again, the flames devoured the entire compound.

Everything happened in a moment too quickly to be recognized. It was only then she realized that the quite, delicate Miyuki could have so much courage in her heart. Miyuki was right, the only way for Sakura to gain back her own identity and escape the possible massacre of the Taira family was to fake her death.

Sakura had contemplated on the matters on their way back, but she never imagined it to be this way. Holding back the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes, Sakura bit her lower lip and swallowed hard. Miyuki sacrificed herself so she could run away, and it was so well-prepared that everything fitted in perfectly.

The others would think that Lady Sakuno killed herself and her son in the fire because she couldn't handle the news of her husband's death, right after she had just gone praying for him with her son. After all, the outside world perceived her as a weak and gravely-ill woman who would break with the slightest impact.

Sayounara…Miyuki.

……

Time was the best remedy when it needed to be. The years dragged themselves along heavily, with the disastrous fall of the Taira family, an era came to an end. The Minamoto successfully succeeded the throne and reigned over in place of the Emperor that was just a puppet of display.

Majority of the power now lied in the Minamoto Clan's hand, and Heian-kyo was embraced by a second era of its existence. The story of the Taira household was passed on; its name forever left behind in the pages of recorded history. In place of Syaoran's name, not that much was written besides a few lines that described his victories and his talents.

But she knew the stories extended behind those lines, and the honourable and brave man he was. Many have said that he was a tragic hero, and blamed the time period of his existence that if he was born in another time, perhaps he could accomplish many great things. Sakura never quite agreed with that theory.

Tragic hero was never the word to describe him. He was the sun, and the sun could never be perceived as tragic. Regardless of how the world changed and evolved, the sun would remain the same, shining so ever brightly in the sky – bathing the world in its glory.

They moved to a small village in China after Miyuki's death, and lived there ever since then. Meiling never got married, and remained as a part of their family. Akira was shocked to find out the true identity of Meiling at first, but after seeing Meiling changing forms countless times a day, he was finally able to adjust to the double identities she carried.

When Akira reached the age of fifteen, Sakura sent him out with the villagers to travel overseas and see the grandeur of the world that she never got a chance to see. He was only able to return once in two years but Sakura was quite happy for him. Sakura couldn't help but notice how closely he resembled Syaoran, both his countenance and his personality.

Occasionally Meiling would ask her about Syaoran, when a long working day was spent in the field of barleys, and she would reply with a faint smile. She had missed him, on occasions, but it wasn't a dreadful longing of any sort. After all, the time she had spent with him was short, compared to how long she had lived.

But those memories held more values than any other memories her mind could ever bare. When Meiling asked her whether she had loved that man, she found herself unable to answer it. On those days, she would busy herself with work and leave the answering of that sensitive question for another time.

Sakura stood on the top of the hills, suffering the wind whipping her long sleeves around her, tossing her hair about restlessly. Her delicate profile, together with the thin wrist and slender hand that pushed against her disobedient hair patiently, looked like something out of a water-color painting.

All these were completed with a smile, one that was both faint and alluring. There were lines of wisdom in the corner of her eyes when she smiled, but those large placid orbs remained the same even against the effects of time. It was that time of the year again, when her son would return to her with his newly gained knowledge.

There, she saw a tall and lean figure making his way up the hills. A final, quick trek up the gentle slope brought Akira to the top, which overlooked a field full of flowers in all shades of warm colors.

The wind that was blowing against him brought the fragrance of those flowers along, something that smelled sweet and gentle, lightly closing the distance between him and Sakura. He turned to gaze at his mother, who had her eyes closed against the breeze, still smiling faintly.

"Okaa-sama!" He called out, picking up his paces and he saw her eyes opening with a slight bewilderment, which disappeared as quickly as it had surfaced, but Akira managed to catch an almost inaudible whisper. _Syaoran…_was what his mother said. It was the name of his father.

"Okaa-sama?" Akira tried again, but only to feel a familiar warm hand resting on his arm.

"Let's go home." She said, as they ambled over to the small house resting on top of an isolated hill not so distant from where they were. Akira nodded in response and held onto his mother's soft yet slightly wrinkled hand. The years of working in the field had created callus on her tapered fingers, he realized.

With brilliancy almost startling, every ray of the holy light fell upon them, stretching out long lines of their shadows as they meandered down the crooked roads, toward the destination of their house. What Sakura saw remained as a secret, lingering in the depth of her heart, because at that very moment, she arrived at the confirmation that she had been searching for all those years.

Akira was at the exact same age as Syaoran when she first met him – the same countenance, the same fierceness – it was all too familiar to her, tugging at her heart so relentlessly.

When emerald met amber…

_-- __It is a small world._

_-- Indeed it is._

She loved him. It took her many years to convince herself of it – many years after his death and the fall of the aristocratic Taira clan.

Some things in life are ephemeral as they were eternal. The memories of him might have been ephemeral, but her love for him, would remain until the end of time.

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OMFG the story has ended. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS finaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly! I feel the burden has been lifted off my shoulders. XD

**To see the cover of the story in both Japanese and English, please go add me on facebook, I've posted it under "notes"  
Along with the CCS cast pic's of what they would look like if they were actually people from the olden days, and in real life =)**

I know the usual story is like, the two characters fall in love somewhere in the middle of the story, or at the end, and we get a super happy ending. But, I wanted to try something different and made Sakura fall in love with Syaoran, or realize she was in love with him until so many years later, when her son grown up to the age she had remembered him of, and then realization struck her. Syaoran fell in love with her in chapter…I don't remember, but when he decided to go into war than giving her away to Eriol. Initially, he just wanted to confirm his own suspicion of falling in love with her by not telling her that he sent out a blank piece of paper as the so-called treaty. The moment she was taken away, that suspicion of his was confirmed. So that's that…

Meiling loved Sakura in the GL way, yes, yes, Meiling loves Sakura and not Syaoran. People are used to the old routine where Meiling is jealous of Sakura and wants Syaoran for herself, but in this story, I've decided to incorporate my favourite BL/GL stuff, and I'm sorry if you didn't like it, but that's the way I do things and the way CLAMP likes to do things.

Eriol realized that to love someone to let that person go, which is why Sakura and Meiling and Akira were able to get out of the country so easily, though they didn't know about it. But if you think about it, it would be kinda obvious. Soooo, Eriol loves Sakura.

Tomoyo loved Syaoran, more than just the sisterly love, but she knew Syaoran only loved her as a big sister, he just didn't realize that, which was why she married his brother instead of him. It is evident from last chapter, the talk between her and Sakura.

Atsumori had to die because history wanted him dead.

Syaoran had to die because history wanted him dead (I just copied and pasted the previous sentence, buwahahaha).

Miyuki had to die because she was a tragic character to begin with, and I usually like to kill off my tragic characters.

Everyone else in the Taira clan had to die because history would kill me if I didn't kill them off.

Soooooo, I just wanted to say that, this is indeed a happy ending because Akira survived, Sakura was able to live as herself again, and Meiling was able to return to her motherland.

I want to thank you all for sticking with me to the end, and I apologize that there weren't many romantic moments between SS. I honestly thought you guys have had enough of that because the CCS fandom is overflowing with fluffy SS moments. If I write them, it would be repeating things and you guys would hate me. So…I went over to the dark side and sided with politics + war.

This is my very last CCS story, hope it wasn't too much of a disappointment. I'll be moving myself over to the Inuyasha section and Kuroshitsuji fandom, so if you're a shipper of those fandom, please join meeeeeeeeeeeee~ buwahahaha.

Review please~~

Get your lazy asses up and write a little nice review, it's the last chapter, your last time to review~!


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